Sunday, December 30, 2007

Don't Ask, Don't Tell

There was an interesting story on 60 minutes the other night about gays in the military. If you missed it, you can watch Lesley Stahl's segment here.

After the segment was over, Texas and I had an interesting discussion about how fucking ridiculous Don't Ask Don't Tell is. Seriously. The government asks these men and women to put their lives on the line, yet they have to deny or hide who they really are. Ludicrous. And shameful for the US.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Melissa Etheridge's Comeback

In case there are any of you out there who didn't see this live (there was a lot of buzz around it at the time), a reader just sent me this link (thanks for always thinking of us Cory!). It's so kick ass and has so much powerful healing energy in it. For all of you out there dealing with cancer, either inside your own body or in someone's you love, I hope you find this hopeful.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Gay Pride Christmas

While Lipstick was having a Christmas in a place where there are no queers at all, Dipstick was hosting a raucous lesbian holiday. Tiger and I invited 14 lesbians and one baby to Christmas dinner at our house. Even though we clearly informed the guests that dinner was taken care of, apparently lesbians can't not potluck. Everyone brought at least one or two dishes and our table was over flowing with shrimp, bulgar salad, potatoes, Christmas pudding, matzo ball soup, brie, bread and pies, cookies and cake.

My friend Carla here models the rainbow mittens Tiger and I received as a gift from my Mom. Although you've gotta love my mom for celebrating my being gay, apparently she hasn't read the chapter yet on lesbian fashion in our book. Not only is the rainbow out of style, but never, ever, ever should a couple be seen in public wearing matching anything, including mittens. Unless of course, it's Halloween. But I can forgive her. The lady's almost 80, after all.

Hope you all had a Christmas that was equally as gay.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Merry Christmas from Bush Country

Well, I'm in Texas with Texas for Christmas again this year and you'll never believe what I found on her parent's mantle: A Christmas card from the Bush family, wishing them a very conservative Christmas -- Jesus' birthday -- full of gay bashing, torture in Iraq and a bag of coal for stem cell research.


Laura really needs a trim, don't ya think?

Sunday, December 23, 2007

An Early Christmas Present



Texas and I have been in Santa Cruz this week spending time with my family (we're leaving this morning, waaa waaa). Calvin, who is the biggest butterball in the world, is getting so big so fast. Our nephew/goddess-son is almost three! Oh how they grow. Not only has it been phenomenal spending time with him, which involves rolling around on the ground, hunting for rocks outside and sliding down the stairs in our pajamas (thank GOD there is a jacuzzi or I wouldn't be able to walk right now), we've also been enjoying the beach and all the dread-locked glory that is Santa Cruz. Yesterday, when we were shopping downtown, I came across our book. Very fun. I've seen it in other stores, but it never gets old.

Just two days left before Santa comes!

Friday, December 21, 2007

Early Press Coverage for Our Book

We've had some great early publicity about our book. Here's a sweet write up from Outward magazine in Sacramento, CA. Enjoy!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

The L Word is Coming :: RSVP Today

The Human Rights Campaign and Showtime present the season 5 premiere of The L Word. Join thousands of women across the country at a party for equality near you. For the Portland premiere party, Lipstick & Dipstick will be your irreverent hosts at the Bagdad Theater.

DETAILS

January 6th
Bagdad Theater

6:00pm
RSVP today

*After Party at Crush

* SPACE IS LIMITED, ARRIVE EARLY - THIS EVENT IS EXPECTED TO REACH CAPACITY

A TEASER...Behind the scenes of Season 5



Winter Carnivale

Texas and I went to a Christmas party on Saturday at the Ace Hotel. Its theme was Winter Carnivale and it was cah-razy. There was a fire dancer, a man juggling on stilts who also unicycled. It was a wild time!

Want to spice up your holiday party this year? Throw a theme on top of it. Even though Halloween just passed, people still LOVE to dress up. They crave permission to express themselves.

PS: If you're traveling to Portland, stay at the new Ace Hotel, which renovated a turn-of-the-century flophouse into this swanky new hipster magnet. It is right in the heart of the gay district downtown. Very cool and minimalistic with turntables in each room.


Monday, December 17, 2007

Box in a Box

Well, I've been scratching my head trying to figure out what to get my wife for Christmas. Snooping around on the internet, I think I found the perfect idea. Why didn't I think of this earlier?

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Jodie Foster is a Lesbian?

Well, duh!

Even though we've all know Jodie is a scissor kisser for years, she unofficially came out of the closet recently at a Hollywood Reports Luncheon...in case you haven't heard.

At the lunch, she publicly (for the very first time in her career) thanked her long-time girlfriend (of 14 years!) Cydney Bernard (pictured here) and called her "my beautiful Cydney." To see her deliver this speech, coupled with a semi-interesting discussion about it on CNN, go HERE.

Did she really come out? Is this simple thank you enough to step out? Many, including Perez Hilton, believe it is.

Photos: With their two kids, at a party together and the cover of Out Magazine earlier this year.

No photo credit available for family pic. AEDT took the other one.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Lipstick & Dipstick in OutWord Magazine

Click on the article to enlarge and read.

Help Save OWL Farm

Those of you who know Dipstick knows that if she loves two things it's mother nature and lesbians. (Well, she loves sex and chocolate too, but those fall under the umbrellas of nature and lesbians.) Anyway, this is serious. I've been hearing about this Natural Gas Pipeline that they want to run through Oregon. I'm opposed to it for many reasons--its big business coming in and taking land from local residents, it's contributing to the destruction of our natural environment and contributing to global warming. But I just learned that one of the places the pipeline is schedule to destroy is a sacred piece of women's land in Southern Oregon. Alix Dobkin sent me the following appeal. I hope you'll do what you can to help save Owl Farm


This is an Owl Farm update, 147 acres of women's land in western Oregon, stewarded for the last 30 years by Oregon Women's Land Trust. The farm is beautiful and peaceful this winter. The OWLT board of directors quarterly meeting last weekend spent time on how to protect Owl Farm from the threat of eminent domain due to a proposed natural gas pipeline.

Pipeline update:

As you all recall, an energy company has stated their intentions of burying a 3-foot diameter pipeline through Owl Farm. They would need to clearcut a 100' to 150' wide corridor, 1/2 mile through our forest to make room for the equipment and roads needed to install the pipeline (about a 7 acre clearcut). The proposed route would travel down the ridge west of the main house, and then straight down the steep hill above the Coop, through the parking lot and over the creek.

We are in shock and denial that this could ever happen to us. We are still one or two years away from having our land condemned, and many things can happen in that time to stop it. But then again, the energy company has already spent millions to make this happen, and the more money they spend, the harder it is to stop.
Many women on this list wrote letters to the federal government earlier this year when we asked. Thank you. It made an impact. The government noted the large amount of letters concerning "Owl Ranch". In 2008, when the government issues an Environmental Impact Statement for public comments, we will again ask you to write to the government. In the meantime, we need a different kind of letter from any women who has ever visited Owl - more on that later.

First, some more information on potential environmental and social effects to one of the oldest women's lands in the country, as well as effects to our world...

The purpose of the pipeline is to transport natural gas from Coos Bay, at the Pacific Ocean, 230 miles to California. The gas actually originates on the other side of the world, in countries like Russia or Iran. There it is super cooled so it can be compressed (liquefied, aka Liquefied Natural Gas, or LNG), and put on huge tankers to be brought across the ocean to Coos Bay. Near the coast, these LNG takers, the size of several football fields, will have to cross a busy grey whale migration route.

In Coos Bay the energy companies plan to dredge and widen the bay, and build a terminal to push the gas 230 miles through the new pipeline, eventually going through Owl Farm, and on to the California market.

Nobody is happy about this - not our right-wing county commissioners (it hurts private property rights), the managers of the National Forests (it hurts endangered species like the spotted owl and coho salmon), the citizens of Coos Bay (one mistake and their town blows up), or the people on the pipeline route, like us.
In a recent women's news story, it was reported that our county commissioners opposed the pipeline, and we soon started receiving congratulations from some of you on our victory. Sorry for the misunderstanding, but we didn't win anything. The Bush administration's 2005 energy bill took local control away from deciding where to site energy projects. Now, only the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission (FERC) can decide our fate. The energy company filed with FERC on September 4 for a "certificate of public necessity and need", asking for permission to take other's private land by eminent domain, if necessary for their gas project.

Looking through the thousands of documents that were filed, we discovered some amazing plans the energy company has for Owl Farm. For instance, they had originally told us they would need to clearcut a 100-foot wide route, 1/2 mile route through Owl Farm's forests. But the plans they filed with FERC show they want to clearcut 150' wide in many places, and some places, 200' wide. It needs to be wider because the slope is so steep down the hill toward the Coop, and, they need plenty of extra space to park their earth-destroying equipment, right in front of the Coop.

The Coop (known to FERC as the "guest house") is the real main house we use, and about 100' away from proposed pipeline route. The Coop is one of only seven houses on the 230-mile pipeline route that could be affected by blasting. Apparently, Owl Farm has high-surface rock, so the energy company thinks they will have to blast open the ridgetop and the slope down to the Coop, in order to burry the pipeline. They promised FERC they would put padded blankets on the side of the Coop to protect it from flying rock and other blasting impacts. The blasting map we discovered actually has a bulls-eye circle drawn around the Coop.

We called the energy company and asked if they would also have to blast through the wetlands next to the Coop. They assured us that if they degrade our wetlands, they would enhance other wetlands -- on someone else's property. But it's not "someone else's property" they reminded me - it will all belong to them anyway.

We noticed that the general route of the proposed pipeline stays on the ridgetop for many miles, EXCEPT, it takes a U-turn to come through Owl Farm. We asked the energy company why they didn't just stay on the ridgetop. The answer is that on the BLM land next to Owl Farm (an old growth forest) has a spotted owl's nest, and the energy company cannot violate the Endangered Species Act, so they swung it through Owl Farm instead.
Another impact of this pipeline on Owl Farm is not only our loss of a beautiful view, but also our loss of privacy. The energy company would fly planes over their right-of-way often, send out maintenance men without warning, and herbicide spray the corridor to keep anything from growing into the pipeline. After all, the gas will not be odorized, so if there were a leak, we wouldn't know until it's too late. They can also sell the right-of-way so other people could start coming through for different reasons in the future.

Perhaps the worst impact to all of us is that Liquefied Natural Gas contributes to global climate change. It has a carbon footprint almost as dirty as some forms of coal. Unlike domestic natural gas (one of America's most abundant energy sources, with pipelines across the nation already in place), Liquefied Natural Gas is dirtier because of minute leakages of methane that is cumulatively significant, and the added energy cost to liquefy, ship, regasify, and pipe it to California. While it will make the energy companies rich, it will retard our conversion to renewable energy sources like solar, wind and wave power.

HOW YOU CAN HELP



Women of the World - We need your help, to save Owl Farm and to save humankind. We need three things: women, letters and financial assistance.
Women: Come to Owl Farm. The more women-energy we have on the land, the more we can displace the energy of those who wish to destroy it. There are some indoor places to sleep, lots of tent spaces, and a few car-camping spaces. Call first so we can tell you about the farm and what to bring. We are sponsoring an Owl-Farm hike in early May, so come before then to help plant the garden. The hike will focus on protecting the native ecology of Pacific Northwest forests and meadows. Other projects to plug into are organizing against the LNG terminal and pipeline, protecting old growth forests (there is one in danger bordering Owl Farm), or organizing the "greening of women's lands" project. We are looking for women who can write grants to help fund this last project.

Letters: If Oregon Women's Land Trust has to go to court to defend Owl Farm, we need testimony of how Owl Farm has benefited women over the years. If you have ever been to Owl Farm, consider sending us a letter telling us of your experience. Feel free to mention anything you remember about the land as beautiful, private, safe, restful, healing, beneficial, spiritual, uplifting, etc.

Financial: In order to organize against the LNG pipeline, for renewable energy, for our mission and for protecting the natural wonders at Owl Farm, we would love to have your financial assistance.
Our address is OWLT, P.O. Box 1692, Roseburg, OR 97470. Email us at lovesowlfarm at hotmail.com. Ask to be put on our mailing list to receive our quarterly newsletters.

Thank you to everyone for all your help, including your magic, to hold Owl Farm and all our lands safe for future women of the world.

Francis Eatherington
Resident, Rainbow's End
Board Member, Oregon Women's Land Trust

Friday, December 14, 2007

A Salute to Two of My Favorite People

So, today is a big day: it's my mom and dad's 39th wedding anniversary. Unlike a lot of couples I know (Lipstick's always observing), my parents are still very much in love, and are often like teenagers with each other (in all the good ways). They've been dating since high school (she robbed the cradle) and they're still giddy, even after all these years....

When Dad went on a fly fishing trip with his buddies earlier this year, all he could think about, he said, as he waded the Chilean rivers, was how much he missed Mom and how he wasn't a guys guy, but instead, her guy. Some men might call him a pussy for saying this (and surely he didn't mention it over dinner that night to those he was traveling with), but I call him golden. (My sister-in-law is lucky, as my brother is a chip off the old block.) Mom, who is the epitome of the perfect mother, is one of the most generous, supportive and patient people I know and has allowed my dad to chase his dreams with reckless abandon. His dreams have become hers and vice versa. They are truly a team, united forever, on their journey as one.

Here are some secrets to their success:

Undying Support

They back each other 100% no matter what. They are very loyal and encouraging with each other (even when my dad had a perm -- see photo to right-- she still stood by his side...apparently everyone was doing it???).

Respect
I talk a lot about respect in our L & D book and learned all there is to know about it and its importance from watching my parents. They not only respect each other and boundaries associated with a committed, monogamous relationship, but they also respect themselves. Very important. I've said it before, but once you lose respect for someone, it's almost always a nail in the coffin. Unlike trust, which can be reacquired with some vigilant work, loss of respect is tough to reverse. They know it and they guard it.

Taking Care
They work hard (harder than on anything else) to take care of each other and their family every single day. It's is always their first priority and the older they get, this becomes even stronger and more instilled. We are a tribe and we all must remember to take good care of those we love. (Photo from when yours truly was presented as a debutante.)

Bending with a Smile
They still laugh; they still have fun; they still push each other each day. Just the other morning I called and they were getting ready to go spend the day together doing "whatever your mom wants" Dad said. I knew this would include shopping (which he hates and she loves) and that he'd do it with a smile. Just like Mom smiled when they floated down the river the week before even though she'd have rather been home reading a good book (maybe ours!) by the fire. They meet in the middle and bend when the wind blows.

Dad still brings Mom flowers/gifts just because and Mom still whips up their signature "first date" fudge when the romantic mood strikes her and I just love that. I've often pondered how having parents like mine (who are so in love and so supportive of me and my life) have affected me as an individual and I've come to one conclusion: It's made all the difference in the world.

So, I salute them today and wish them a happy anniversary.

I love you.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Lesbians and Nickelback

So often you write to us, we write back, but we never get to put a face to your name. This weekend, however, in Eugene, one of you who wrote to us for advice came up and introduced yourself. We didn’t remember your moniker Cell Hell but when you said “Nickelback” we remembered exactly who you were. Here’s a flashback to Curve magazine June 2007.

Dear Lipstick & Dipstick: My partner of three years has been acting strange lately. She's been hiding her cell phone whenever it rings and she never shows up on time. About two weeks ago, we went see Nickleback in concert. When we got there, I saw her texting someone, so I looked over her shoulder and saw she was writing a girl. I confronted her and she told me I was crazy. Later that night, when she was sleeping, I looked at her phone and saw another message from this girl: "Goodnight Sweet Cheeks. Until then…see you in my dreams." I woke her up and we got into a fight. She said she had no clue why this girl was texting her and promised to tell her to stop and that she really did love me. Things were fine for a week and then a couple of days ago there was another text from the same girl. I work nights and after I’d been gone, I found a text on her phone that said: "It meant so much to me that you held me in your arms all night. I love you." Again, I confronted her and she swears there’s nothing going on. I'm so confused and hurt and not sure what to believe. I need some good advice. — Cell Hell

Lipstick: Dayum—this is tragic. And not only because she’s a big fat liar, but also because you’re letting her pin you up as the fool. But before I go there, I have a question: do lesbians really go to Nickleback concerts? Anyway, this woman is a conniving wench who should get a boot up her ass immediately. Just like that song you love, it’s not like her to say she’s sorry. Your only mistake was handing her a heart worth breaking. Dump the fart stain (thanks Rosie) and do it fast, Cell Hell. Before you go, flush her phone down the toilet! I’m not kidding.

Dipstick: Lipstick is right about everything except flushing the cell. Instead, grab it and text the girl back, pretending to be your girlfriend. Call her Sweet Cheeks, Babe and throw in a Snookums for good measure. Butter her up and get her to admit to the sexing we all know is going on. Then, from your own phone, send your girlfriend this text message: F-CK OFF B-TCH.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Homo for the Holidays


This is a little piece Dipstick and I wrote in Curve this month. Thought we'd post it here, as it might help lessen the holiday blows as we move into these critical two weeks ahead of us when we're inundated with family and all the mayhem of the season. Click on it to read.


Tuesday, December 11, 2007

The L Word is Coming & I Can't Wait!


If there's one thing I hate about The L Word, it's how long we have to wait in between seasons. But January will be here soon enough and I can get my Alice cravings taken care of. Can you stand how hot she is?!!

Usually I host a Sunday night gathering of friends to watch and dissect The L Word, except for the season premiere. For the last two years, I've attended a party put on by HRC where I get to see the first episode in a room full of hot lesbian strangers, jammed in, breathing heavy and oogling a big screen presentation.

This year, Lipstick & I have been asked to host HRC's The L Word party in Portland. Please join us at the Bagdad Theater on January 6th. Doors open at 6pm, show starts at 7. Come early. Last year's line went around the block! You could win door prizes, plus it will be an opportunity to have us sign a copy of our book.

Afterward, head over to Crush, 1400 SE Morrison for the afterparty. See you there. But remember, Alice is mine!


Photo courtesy of Showtime

Monday, December 10, 2007

I'll Keep Out My Skis Because...


Dipstick and I are headed to Whistler after the new year for Winter Pride. It's February 3-10. The crazy butch and I will be hosting a women's party during the week of festivities.

Other entertainment includes musician Melissa Ferrick (below in the snow), comedian Debra DiGiovanni, Cirque du Soleil and more! Get your skis waxed and join us in February!



* Whistler photo by Rolf Hicker

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Buried in the Snow

I've been out of pocket this week up at Mount Hood cavorting around with Texas and our dear friends Hoogs and Minx. We went up to celebrate my birthday (I'm a Sagittarius) and to blow off some steam while partaking in snow sports.

Needless to say, good times were had by all and holy hell did it dump while we were up there. There is something so peaceful and meditative about snow, isn't there? We stayed at Timberline (famed for the Stanley Kubrick film "The Shining"). You can see Jack Nicholson coming toward Timberline lodge with an ax in this image.




And remember Redrum?






Hoogs and I skied and Minx snowboarded while Texas curled up with a book inside. After we retired for the night, we played cut throat Catch Phrase and Pictionary. The fireplaces in our rooms were one of the highlights. If you've never fallen asleep next to a roaring fireplace while it's snowing with your girlfriend, you need to put that on your Bucket List.

We also hit the Snow Bunny hill on innertubes. Texas, who is deathly afraid of heights, even conquered the mountain. Hoogs won the speed racer award and had the best spill off her tube; I'd pay money to have gotten that on film. She seemed to make cartoon Foley noises as she flipped upside down and bonked off her head. Can't you hear it? Afterwards ravaging our bodies, we stopped into Government Camp at the Ratskeller for a little nip to warm us up.

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Win a Date with Lipstick & Dipstick

The Portland Mercury is holding an online auction to raise money for charity. And one of the exciting items you get to bid on is a date with Lipstick & Dipstick. Bidding is pretty low right now. We really want to bring in more money than a date with Police Chief Rosie Sizer. We promise not to carry a gun to our date and we won't talk about rising crime rates on public transportation. We also promise to dress snazzier than the Chief and we won't bring up your past record. Everyone has a crime of passion in their past, don't they? To show how generous we are, we'll even allow you to bring a date to our date.

So, come on--do your good deed for the year. Bid on a date with Lipstick & Dipstick.

Friday, December 7, 2007

Join us in Eugene for Hot Flash!


Get your dancing shoes on and meet Lipstick & Dipstick in Eugene, Oregon this Saturday for Hot Flash. Hot Flash is a fun dance for women 35 & older and those who love us. Lipstick, I hope they don't card you at the door! Join us from 5-9pm at Indigo District on the corner of 13th and Oak in Eugene.

We'll be signing our books and hosting a great night of entertainment that includes dancing with DJ Lauren, Lesbian hip-hop artist KRITIK and a burlesque performance by Lady Luck Herself. Admission is only $8. Hope to see you there!

For more information, check out the Hot Flash Website.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Happy St. Nicholas Day


Today is St. Nicholas Day. Growing up, on the eve of this day, we would put our shoes out on the front porch and St. Nicholas would come and fill them with little gifts. Candies, socks or mittens and maybe a small stuffed animal. It's a German tradition that I've continued to do with my girlfriend.

I don't know about you, but I tend to get a lot of emails encouraging me to get a penis enlargement. If I wanted a bigger one, I'd just go to It's My Pleasure and buy one. But I did get a kick out of the ad. I hope you do too.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Welcome to Portland, Diane!

Lipstick and I couldn't be happier that our Executive Editor from Curve magazine, Diane Anderson-Minshall has moved to Portland.

We braved the flooded Portland streets to meet for cocktails to celebrate her arrival. We love Diane for many reasons. She took a chance on us and gave us our start in Curve magazine. She encourages and supports all our crazy Lipstick & Dipstick ideas. She mentors us and helps us grow as writers.

She is probably the smartest person I know. Whenever I meet with her, even just for a drink, I want to have a pen and notebook ready to take notes. She knows so much about everything: Pop culture, technology, fashion, lesbian culture, celebrity gossip and high stakes gambling.

Diane is a woman of many accomplishments, but one I'm sure she'd like us to mention is the publication of two lesbian murder mysteries: Blind Curves and Blind Leap with her partner Jake.

We love you Diane. Welcome to Portland.

Sunday, December 2, 2007

What I'm Doing Today


It's a windy, rainy nasty day here in Oregon. Which is just fine with me. It's a perfect day to stay inside and watch Women's College Basketball.

I'm especially excited to watch the Duke/Penn State game. Penn State has a new coach: Coquese Washington. Washington is replacing long-time Penn State coach Rene Portland who for years has been accused of discriminating against lesbian players. She resigned last year after 27 years as head coach. I practically threw a party when I head she was leaving the game.

I don't know Coquese personally, but she did play in Portland for the Portland Power of the ABL. I met her once with a gaggle of lesbians and she didn't give off a homophobic vibe.

There is just no more room for homophobia is sports. Especially women's sports. I hope the whole Rutgers/Don Imus debacle last year has elevated the respect for the women's game. That's a picture of Rutger's amazing coach C. Vivian Stringer on my TV. I've always been impressed with her, one of the few women of color head coaches. She's one of my role models.

I'm sure this will be one of many basketball posts as the season goes on. I could go on and on, but I've got to turn on the game.

Saturday, December 1, 2007

White Elephant Winner

At Texas' company Christmas parties each year, I'm usually one of the first to pick during the White Elephant gift exchange. Which means, someone always snatches what I pick (if it's cool) and I end up with a porcelain figurine of a heterosexual couple (it made it's fifth appearance this year), a pasta measure ring or a Santa that blows bubbles out of his butt (I kind of like this one). A couple years ago, it nearly went to blows (a different kind) over the dancing African American Santa (I lost) and the year before, I scored Dipstick some vintage Fonz drinking glasses after bribing Texas' cohort with a piece of cheesecake and a twenty.

This year was different--I had the edge--and I used it to my advantage. I was second to last to choose, so I got my pick of gifts to take. I stole something I'd had my eye on during the hour-long tug of war: A Red Faucet Light. (It will look killer in my writing space's bathroom.) I lifted it from the owner of the real estate firm Texas works through, a dyke who we LOVE (pictured here as I snatch it from her!). She was a great sport about it, but I thought I was going to pee my pants at this point (wine always makes me silly).


Such fun and such a great group of people Texas works with side-by-side. Her office is known as the gay RE/MAX and nearly half her fellow realtors also dabble in same-sex yum yum. I wish I'd snapped a pic of Texas last night; she looked absolutely amazing! I'm the luckiest women on earth.

Let's the holiday festivities begin!

As I type, it is snowing outside.