Take a looksy at our President's CV. It's classic.
GEORGE W. BUSH
EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:
I was arrested in
I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in
I graduated from
PAST WORK EXPERIENCE :
I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.
I began my career in the oil business in
I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.
With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF
I cut taxes and bankrupted the
I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.
With the help of my brother, the governor of
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
I am the first President in
I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.
I spent the
I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in
I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.
I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the
I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in
I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.
I am the all- time U.S and world record -holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.
My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in
My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.
I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history. I presided over the biggest energy crisis in
I presided over the highest gasoline prices in
I changed the
I appointed more convicted criminals to my administration than any President in U.S. history
I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States Government.
I've broken more international treaties than any President in
I am the first President in U.S history to have the United Nations remove the
I withdrew the
I refused to allow inspectors access to
I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002
I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.
I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period.
After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in
I garnered the most sympathy ever for the
I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind.
I am the first President in
I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families in wartime.
In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking
I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.
I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD.
I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.
RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
All records of my tenure as governor of
All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review. I specified that my sealed documents will not be available for 50 years.