Thursday, July 10, 2008

George W Bush's Resume



Take a looksy at our President's CV. It's classic.

GEORGE W. BUSH
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20520


EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:

Law Enforcement:

I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.

Military:
I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

College:
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE :

I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.

I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.

With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.


ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:


I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.

I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.

With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President of the United States, after losing by over 500,000 votes.


ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.

I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.

I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.

I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.

I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues.

I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleezza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.

I am the all- time U.S and world record -holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.

My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. history, Enron.

My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.

I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history. I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.

I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.

I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

I appointed more convicted criminals to my administration than any President in U.S. history

I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States Government.

I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.

I am the first President in U.S history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.

I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.

I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.

I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US election).

I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.

I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period.

After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.


I garnered the most sympathy ever for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind.

I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. Citizens and the world community.

I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families in wartime.

In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.

I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.

I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD.

I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.

All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review. I specified that my sealed documents will not be available for 50 years.

20 comments:

Eileen said...

Can't wait till he's gone!

jason said...

young republicans rule:) looks like my resume....

tracer123 said...

And...'I am an idiot.'

Anonymous said...

hospital pharmacy jobs http://drugstore4.com/de/product/benemid.html klor con 10 retin a pravachol ketamine rite aid pharmacy [url=http://drugstore4.com/de/product/tofranil.html]tofranil[/url]
soul pattinson pharmacy http://drugstore4.com/category/antibiotics.html naval hospital of charleston pharmacy [url=http://drugstore4.com/product/ddavp-2-5ml.html]cvs pharmacy martins ferry ohio[/url]
new york pharmacy college http://drugstore4.com/product/zovirax.html heb pharmacy [url=http://drugstore4.com/fr/product/prevacid.html]prevacid[/url]
bellevue pharmacy http://drugstore4.com/fr/product/vasotec.html botox type a best price pharmacy [url=http://drugstore4.com/product/imitrex.html]may a pharmacy transfer my prescription to another pharmacy[/url]

Anonymous said...

dover travel http://qipp.eu/cruises/puerto-rico-cruises-from-new-york-february-2008 travel security presentation [url=http://qipp.eu/disneyland/panther-woman-disneyland]panther woman disneyland[/url]
travel to the island of lesbos http://foxusa.eu/car-rental/car-rental-costa-rica siskiyou travel conditions [url=http://foxusa.eu/tour/led-zeppelin-and-tour]sinus congestion airplane travel[/url]
picasso travel swiss made tours http://foxusa.eu/tour/funiculaire-de-la-tour-olympique cheap travel insurance uk http http http http [url=http://foxusa.eu/car-rental/alamo-car-rental-and-personal-information]alamo car rental and personal information[/url]
costa rica travel packages http://qipp.eu/plane-tickets/plane-tickets-and-car-rentals cheap travel insurance world wide htm [url=http://qipp.eu/motel/armuro-dive-motel]sintha travel[/url]
travel jobs professional http://qipp.eu/motel/bryan-texas-hotel-motel travel to hong kong [url=http://foxusa.eu/tourism/australian-caves-tourism-impact]australian caves tourism impact[/url]
diverse travel http://qipp.eu/airline/airline-service-to-dutch-harbor united travel [url=http://qipp.eu/tourism/sailing-tourism-ontario]philippine travel association[/url]

Anonymous said...

jamaica travel port antonio discount http://foxusa.eu/inn/country-inn-and-suites-florida discount cruise travel [url=http://foxusa.eu/tourism/career-in-travel-and-tourism-uk]career in travel and tourism uk[/url]
travel lite motorhomes http://foxusa.eu/airlines/samara-airlines based business free home travel 0 [url=http://foxusa.eu/airlines/southwest-airlines-boeing-737]personal travel planner[/url]
when to travel in alaska http://foxusa.eu/map/tomtom-australia-map europe rail travel london belgium amsterdam [url=http://foxusa.eu/flight/flight-following-systems]flight following systems[/url]
permissive travel form http://foxusa.eu/inn/the-dew-drop-inn-haven world ventures travel scam [url=http://foxusa.eu/cruises/cruises-in-puerto-penasco]custom aluminum travel trailer[/url]
expat insurance overseas health insurance worldwide travel http://foxusa.eu/car-rental/car-rental-portugal goldrush gateways travel club [url=http://foxusa.eu/adventure/gardian-adventure-quest-account]gardian adventure quest account[/url]
chicago children travel http://foxusa.eu/cruises/cruises-in-puerto-penasco e travel [url=http://foxusa.eu/inn/fogcatcher-inn]travel toolbox[/url]

Anonymous said...

farmington ct travel basketball http://qwc.in/bathrooms/bathrooms-sunrooms-small sew travel jewelry bag [url=http://qwc.in/senior-care/senior-care-solutions-sacramento]senior care solutions sacramento[/url]
wisconsin dells rock house http://qwc.in/senior-care/senior-home-care-montgomery-county-pa keystone 27ft travel trailer [url=http://qwc.in/decoration/angel-ice-cream-cone-decoration]axiom on line travel[/url]
last minute travel package http://qwc.in/landscaping/manawaska-landscaping travel seattle to banff [url=http://qwc.in/siding/cedar-or-pine-siding]cedar or pine siding[/url]
movie wave files billy madison http://qwc.in/lawn-care/burbank-ca-lawn-care free travel brochure new zealand [url=http://qwc.in/house/house-floorplan-programs]mary had a little lamb music[/url]
international student travel medical insurance http://qwc.in/room/cant-get-into-chat-room louisiana travel agency [url=http://qwc.in/house/nestle-toll-house-pan-cookie-recipe]nestle toll house pan cookie recipe[/url]
auto detroit news http://qwc.in/house/limit-the-range-of-wireless-internet-to-inside-house keeley coil time travel [url=http://qwc.in/kitchens/open-kitchens-lighting-options]barrel racing and older women[/url]

Anonymous said...

wellington hotel travel agent rates http://christian-dior.dowk.info/christian-dior-pictures-of-white-backgrounds christian dior pictures of white backgrounds [url=http://louis-vuitton.dowk.info/silver-louis-vuitton]silver louis vuitton[/url]
http://american-eagle-outfitters.dowk.info/discount-coupons-for-american-eagle-outfitters discount coupons for american eagle outfitters tangerine dream music [url=http://chanel.dowk.info/caviar-hand-bag-chanel-replica]caviar hand bag chanel replica[/url]
[url=http://anya-hindmarch.dowk.info/anya-hindmarch-be-a-bag]anya hindmarch be a bag[/url] celbrity movie archive http://valentino.dowk.info/valentino-red-flats valentino red flats
savannah georgia travel http://manolo-blahnik.dowk.info/manolo-blahnik-okla-boots manolo blahnik okla boots [url=http://alexander-wang.dowk.info/alexander-wang-sweatshirt]alexander wang sweatshirt[/url]
http://salvatore-ferragamo.dowk.info/salvatore-ferragamo-calf-leather-blouson salvatore ferragamo calf leather blouson scott joplin mp3 [url=http://anya-hindmarch.dowk.info/fake-cholet-bag-by-anya-hindmarch]fake cholet bag by anya hindmarch[/url]

Anonymous said...

dating a playa http://loveepicentre.com/ gay dating vancouver

Anonymous said...

[url=http://loveepicentre.com/taketour.php][img]http://loveepicentre.com/uploades/photos/7.jpg[/img][/url]
online dating service eharmony [url=http://loveepicentre.com/testimonials.php]chris brown dating rihanna[/url] widows and dating
speed dating in nc [url=http://loveepicentre.com/success_stories.php]music loving dating site[/url] catholic dating uk
racist dating org [url=http://loveepicentre.com/]oriental women for dating[/url] internet dating graphs

Anonymous said...

ebook cost http://audiobookscollection.co.uk/The-Six-Pillars-of-Self-Esteem-The-Definitive-Work-on-Self-Esteem-by-the-Leading-Pioneer-in-the-Field/p161098/ shopaholic ebook torrents [url=http://audiobookscollection.co.uk/es/Focal-Easy-Guide-to-Final-Cut-Pro-4-For-new-users-and-professionals/p222186/]ebook wholesalers[/url] algorithm design pdf kleinberg ebook

Anonymous said...

blog trading ebook forex http://audiobooksplanet.co.uk/de/authors/?letter=O&page=2 warcraft ebook [url=http://audiobooksplanet.co.uk/C-V-Vishveshwara/m16895/]ebook reader for pocket pc freeware[/url] master key system free ebook

Anonymous said...

Hmm is anyone else having problems with the images on this blog loading?

I'm trying to find out if its a problem on my end or if it's the blog.
Any feed-back would be greatly appreciated.

Here is my blog bmi chart female
my web site: bmi chart male

Anonymous said...

Today, I went to the beach front with my kids. I
found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said "You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear." She put the shell to her ear and screamed.

There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her
ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is totally
off topic but I had to tell someone!

My blog post; bankruptcy in florida

Anonymous said...

talkbox software http://buyoem.co.uk/it/product-25726/Adobe-Creative-Suite-4-Design-Premium xp home backup software [url=http://buyoem.co.uk/de/product-14610/EnTech-PowerStrip-3-63-Multilanguage]organizing my life software[/url] ztc z5 mobile software
[url=http://buyoem.co.uk/product-36887/PremiumSoft-Navicat-Premium-Enterprise-Edition-10-0]PremiumSoft Navicat Premium Enterprise Edition 10.0 - Download OEM, Software Sale, OEM Software[/url] computer software training in ri
[url=http://buyoem.co.uk/fr/manufacturer-2/Microsoft][img]http://buyoem.co.uk/image/2.gif[/img][/url]

Anonymous said...

sigmanest software key http://buyoem.co.uk/es/product-37365/Video-Sound-Editor-2-2 zune software downloads each file twice [url=http://buyoem.co.uk/es/product-33401/Adobe-Illustrator-CS5-MAC]palm diet software[/url] wrk54g driver download software
[url=http://buyoem.co.uk/product-22416/Firefly-Data-Compare-Tool-10-0]Firefly Data Compare Tool 10.0 - Software Store[/url] windows and glazing software hurricane
[url=http://buyoem.co.uk/es/product-24146/Adobe-Design-Premium-CS4-Mac][img]http://buyoem.co.uk/image/8.gif[/img][/url]

Anonymous said...

best software to backup ps2 games http://buyoemsoftware.co.uk/product-17801/Secret-Folder-3-7-Mac accounting software programme [url=http://buyoemsoftware.co.uk/product-37368/Abexo-Defragmenter-Pro-Plus-5-0-Portable]mathflash software[/url] dvd copy prevention software
[url=http://buyoemsoftware.co.uk/product-37352/Ultra-Video-Splitter-5-0]Ultra Video Splitter 5.0 - Software Store[/url] shareware check cashing software
[url=http://buyoemsoftware.co.uk/de/product-35813/FinePrint-PdfFactory-Pro-4-5-Server-Edition][img]http://buyoem.co.uk/image/4.gif[/img][/url]

Anonymous said...

western digital hardrive software http://buysoftwareonline.co.uk/product-36205/Serial-Port-Tool-ZigBee-Operator-1-0 medical software pulse [url=http://buysoftwareonline.co.uk/product-16100/SensorsView-Pro-3-1]patchbay label software[/url] medical billing software reviewsbox 0
[url=http://buysoftwareonline.co.uk/es/category-1/Sistemas-operacionales]Sistemas operacionales - Software Store[/url] addressbook software for mac
[url=http://buysoftwareonline.co.uk/product-19812/Symantec-Endpoint-Protection-11-0][img]http://buyoem.co.uk/image/5.gif[/img][/url]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://onlinemedistore.com/categories/general-health.htm][img]http://onlinemedistore.com/8.jpg[/img][/url]
east tennessee state school of pharmacy http://onlinemedistore.com/catalogue/m.htm hydrocodone and pharmacy [url=http://onlinemedistore.com/products/pepcid.htm]pharmacy tech deaconess hospital oklahoma city[/url]
pre pharmacy education funding http://onlinemedistore.com/products/fml-forte.htm anthem pharmacy virginia [url=http://onlinemedistore.com/products/shuddha-guggulu.htm]shuddha guggulu[/url]
employee killed in pharmacy shootout http://onlinemedistore.com/products/amitriptyline.htm phd pharmacy [url=http://onlinemedistore.com/catalogue/f.htm]florida pharmacy tech[/url]
pharmacy director dashboard http://onlinemedistore.com/products/levlen.htm online pharmacy technician school [url=http://onlinemedistore.com/products/flomax.htm]flomax[/url]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/ampicillin.htm][img]http://onlinemedistore.com/8.jpg[/img][/url]
medication error ce florida board pharmacy walgreens http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/ed-discount-pack-1.htm merchant account for pharmacy [url=http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/floxin.htm]cvs pharmacy chicago[/url]
pharmacy technician cost ontario http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/copegus.htm purchase altace pharmacy [url=http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/zanaflex.htm]zanaflex[/url]
pharmacy perth amcal http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/roxithromycin.htm pharmacy jobs [url=http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/catalogue/b.htm]national pharmacy technician day 2007[/url]
oregon state mandatory pharmacy technition certification http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/myambutol.htm cvs pharmacy drug prices [url=http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/tadacip.htm]tadacip[/url]