Sunday, December 30, 2007

Don't Ask, Don't Tell

There was an interesting story on 60 minutes the other night about gays in the military. If you missed it, you can watch Lesley Stahl's segment here.

After the segment was over, Texas and I had an interesting discussion about how fucking ridiculous Don't Ask Don't Tell is. Seriously. The government asks these men and women to put their lives on the line, yet they have to deny or hide who they really are. Ludicrous. And shameful for the US.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Melissa Etheridge's Comeback

In case there are any of you out there who didn't see this live (there was a lot of buzz around it at the time), a reader just sent me this link (thanks for always thinking of us Cory!). It's so kick ass and has so much powerful healing energy in it. For all of you out there dealing with cancer, either inside your own body or in someone's you love, I hope you find this hopeful.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Gay Pride Christmas

While Lipstick was having a Christmas in a place where there are no queers at all, Dipstick was hosting a raucous lesbian holiday. Tiger and I invited 14 lesbians and one baby to Christmas dinner at our house. Even though we clearly informed the guests that dinner was taken care of, apparently lesbians can't not potluck. Everyone brought at least one or two dishes and our table was over flowing with shrimp, bulgar salad, potatoes, Christmas pudding, matzo ball soup, brie, bread and pies, cookies and cake.

My friend Carla here models the rainbow mittens Tiger and I received as a gift from my Mom. Although you've gotta love my mom for celebrating my being gay, apparently she hasn't read the chapter yet on lesbian fashion in our book. Not only is the rainbow out of style, but never, ever, ever should a couple be seen in public wearing matching anything, including mittens. Unless of course, it's Halloween. But I can forgive her. The lady's almost 80, after all.

Hope you all had a Christmas that was equally as gay.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Merry Christmas from Bush Country

Well, I'm in Texas with Texas for Christmas again this year and you'll never believe what I found on her parent's mantle: A Christmas card from the Bush family, wishing them a very conservative Christmas -- Jesus' birthday -- full of gay bashing, torture in Iraq and a bag of coal for stem cell research.


Laura really needs a trim, don't ya think?

Sunday, December 23, 2007

An Early Christmas Present



Texas and I have been in Santa Cruz this week spending time with my family (we're leaving this morning, waaa waaa). Calvin, who is the biggest butterball in the world, is getting so big so fast. Our nephew/goddess-son is almost three! Oh how they grow. Not only has it been phenomenal spending time with him, which involves rolling around on the ground, hunting for rocks outside and sliding down the stairs in our pajamas (thank GOD there is a jacuzzi or I wouldn't be able to walk right now), we've also been enjoying the beach and all the dread-locked glory that is Santa Cruz. Yesterday, when we were shopping downtown, I came across our book. Very fun. I've seen it in other stores, but it never gets old.

Just two days left before Santa comes!

Friday, December 21, 2007

Early Press Coverage for Our Book

We've had some great early publicity about our book. Here's a sweet write up from Outward magazine in Sacramento, CA. Enjoy!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

The L Word is Coming :: RSVP Today

The Human Rights Campaign and Showtime present the season 5 premiere of The L Word. Join thousands of women across the country at a party for equality near you. For the Portland premiere party, Lipstick & Dipstick will be your irreverent hosts at the Bagdad Theater.

DETAILS

January 6th
Bagdad Theater

6:00pm
RSVP today

*After Party at Crush

* SPACE IS LIMITED, ARRIVE EARLY - THIS EVENT IS EXPECTED TO REACH CAPACITY

A TEASER...Behind the scenes of Season 5



Winter Carnivale

Texas and I went to a Christmas party on Saturday at the Ace Hotel. Its theme was Winter Carnivale and it was cah-razy. There was a fire dancer, a man juggling on stilts who also unicycled. It was a wild time!

Want to spice up your holiday party this year? Throw a theme on top of it. Even though Halloween just passed, people still LOVE to dress up. They crave permission to express themselves.

PS: If you're traveling to Portland, stay at the new Ace Hotel, which renovated a turn-of-the-century flophouse into this swanky new hipster magnet. It is right in the heart of the gay district downtown. Very cool and minimalistic with turntables in each room.


Monday, December 17, 2007

Box in a Box

Well, I've been scratching my head trying to figure out what to get my wife for Christmas. Snooping around on the internet, I think I found the perfect idea. Why didn't I think of this earlier?

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Jodie Foster is a Lesbian?

Well, duh!

Even though we've all know Jodie is a scissor kisser for years, she unofficially came out of the closet recently at a Hollywood Reports Luncheon...in case you haven't heard.

At the lunch, she publicly (for the very first time in her career) thanked her long-time girlfriend (of 14 years!) Cydney Bernard (pictured here) and called her "my beautiful Cydney." To see her deliver this speech, coupled with a semi-interesting discussion about it on CNN, go HERE.

Did she really come out? Is this simple thank you enough to step out? Many, including Perez Hilton, believe it is.

Photos: With their two kids, at a party together and the cover of Out Magazine earlier this year.

No photo credit available for family pic. AEDT took the other one.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Lipstick & Dipstick in OutWord Magazine

Click on the article to enlarge and read.

Help Save OWL Farm

Those of you who know Dipstick knows that if she loves two things it's mother nature and lesbians. (Well, she loves sex and chocolate too, but those fall under the umbrellas of nature and lesbians.) Anyway, this is serious. I've been hearing about this Natural Gas Pipeline that they want to run through Oregon. I'm opposed to it for many reasons--its big business coming in and taking land from local residents, it's contributing to the destruction of our natural environment and contributing to global warming. But I just learned that one of the places the pipeline is schedule to destroy is a sacred piece of women's land in Southern Oregon. Alix Dobkin sent me the following appeal. I hope you'll do what you can to help save Owl Farm


This is an Owl Farm update, 147 acres of women's land in western Oregon, stewarded for the last 30 years by Oregon Women's Land Trust. The farm is beautiful and peaceful this winter. The OWLT board of directors quarterly meeting last weekend spent time on how to protect Owl Farm from the threat of eminent domain due to a proposed natural gas pipeline.

Pipeline update:

As you all recall, an energy company has stated their intentions of burying a 3-foot diameter pipeline through Owl Farm. They would need to clearcut a 100' to 150' wide corridor, 1/2 mile through our forest to make room for the equipment and roads needed to install the pipeline (about a 7 acre clearcut). The proposed route would travel down the ridge west of the main house, and then straight down the steep hill above the Coop, through the parking lot and over the creek.

We are in shock and denial that this could ever happen to us. We are still one or two years away from having our land condemned, and many things can happen in that time to stop it. But then again, the energy company has already spent millions to make this happen, and the more money they spend, the harder it is to stop.
Many women on this list wrote letters to the federal government earlier this year when we asked. Thank you. It made an impact. The government noted the large amount of letters concerning "Owl Ranch". In 2008, when the government issues an Environmental Impact Statement for public comments, we will again ask you to write to the government. In the meantime, we need a different kind of letter from any women who has ever visited Owl - more on that later.

First, some more information on potential environmental and social effects to one of the oldest women's lands in the country, as well as effects to our world...

The purpose of the pipeline is to transport natural gas from Coos Bay, at the Pacific Ocean, 230 miles to California. The gas actually originates on the other side of the world, in countries like Russia or Iran. There it is super cooled so it can be compressed (liquefied, aka Liquefied Natural Gas, or LNG), and put on huge tankers to be brought across the ocean to Coos Bay. Near the coast, these LNG takers, the size of several football fields, will have to cross a busy grey whale migration route.

In Coos Bay the energy companies plan to dredge and widen the bay, and build a terminal to push the gas 230 miles through the new pipeline, eventually going through Owl Farm, and on to the California market.

Nobody is happy about this - not our right-wing county commissioners (it hurts private property rights), the managers of the National Forests (it hurts endangered species like the spotted owl and coho salmon), the citizens of Coos Bay (one mistake and their town blows up), or the people on the pipeline route, like us.
In a recent women's news story, it was reported that our county commissioners opposed the pipeline, and we soon started receiving congratulations from some of you on our victory. Sorry for the misunderstanding, but we didn't win anything. The Bush administration's 2005 energy bill took local control away from deciding where to site energy projects. Now, only the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission (FERC) can decide our fate. The energy company filed with FERC on September 4 for a "certificate of public necessity and need", asking for permission to take other's private land by eminent domain, if necessary for their gas project.

Looking through the thousands of documents that were filed, we discovered some amazing plans the energy company has for Owl Farm. For instance, they had originally told us they would need to clearcut a 100-foot wide route, 1/2 mile route through Owl Farm's forests. But the plans they filed with FERC show they want to clearcut 150' wide in many places, and some places, 200' wide. It needs to be wider because the slope is so steep down the hill toward the Coop, and, they need plenty of extra space to park their earth-destroying equipment, right in front of the Coop.

The Coop (known to FERC as the "guest house") is the real main house we use, and about 100' away from proposed pipeline route. The Coop is one of only seven houses on the 230-mile pipeline route that could be affected by blasting. Apparently, Owl Farm has high-surface rock, so the energy company thinks they will have to blast open the ridgetop and the slope down to the Coop, in order to burry the pipeline. They promised FERC they would put padded blankets on the side of the Coop to protect it from flying rock and other blasting impacts. The blasting map we discovered actually has a bulls-eye circle drawn around the Coop.

We called the energy company and asked if they would also have to blast through the wetlands next to the Coop. They assured us that if they degrade our wetlands, they would enhance other wetlands -- on someone else's property. But it's not "someone else's property" they reminded me - it will all belong to them anyway.

We noticed that the general route of the proposed pipeline stays on the ridgetop for many miles, EXCEPT, it takes a U-turn to come through Owl Farm. We asked the energy company why they didn't just stay on the ridgetop. The answer is that on the BLM land next to Owl Farm (an old growth forest) has a spotted owl's nest, and the energy company cannot violate the Endangered Species Act, so they swung it through Owl Farm instead.
Another impact of this pipeline on Owl Farm is not only our loss of a beautiful view, but also our loss of privacy. The energy company would fly planes over their right-of-way often, send out maintenance men without warning, and herbicide spray the corridor to keep anything from growing into the pipeline. After all, the gas will not be odorized, so if there were a leak, we wouldn't know until it's too late. They can also sell the right-of-way so other people could start coming through for different reasons in the future.

Perhaps the worst impact to all of us is that Liquefied Natural Gas contributes to global climate change. It has a carbon footprint almost as dirty as some forms of coal. Unlike domestic natural gas (one of America's most abundant energy sources, with pipelines across the nation already in place), Liquefied Natural Gas is dirtier because of minute leakages of methane that is cumulatively significant, and the added energy cost to liquefy, ship, regasify, and pipe it to California. While it will make the energy companies rich, it will retard our conversion to renewable energy sources like solar, wind and wave power.

HOW YOU CAN HELP



Women of the World - We need your help, to save Owl Farm and to save humankind. We need three things: women, letters and financial assistance.
Women: Come to Owl Farm. The more women-energy we have on the land, the more we can displace the energy of those who wish to destroy it. There are some indoor places to sleep, lots of tent spaces, and a few car-camping spaces. Call first so we can tell you about the farm and what to bring. We are sponsoring an Owl-Farm hike in early May, so come before then to help plant the garden. The hike will focus on protecting the native ecology of Pacific Northwest forests and meadows. Other projects to plug into are organizing against the LNG terminal and pipeline, protecting old growth forests (there is one in danger bordering Owl Farm), or organizing the "greening of women's lands" project. We are looking for women who can write grants to help fund this last project.

Letters: If Oregon Women's Land Trust has to go to court to defend Owl Farm, we need testimony of how Owl Farm has benefited women over the years. If you have ever been to Owl Farm, consider sending us a letter telling us of your experience. Feel free to mention anything you remember about the land as beautiful, private, safe, restful, healing, beneficial, spiritual, uplifting, etc.

Financial: In order to organize against the LNG pipeline, for renewable energy, for our mission and for protecting the natural wonders at Owl Farm, we would love to have your financial assistance.
Our address is OWLT, P.O. Box 1692, Roseburg, OR 97470. Email us at lovesowlfarm at hotmail.com. Ask to be put on our mailing list to receive our quarterly newsletters.

Thank you to everyone for all your help, including your magic, to hold Owl Farm and all our lands safe for future women of the world.

Francis Eatherington
Resident, Rainbow's End
Board Member, Oregon Women's Land Trust

Friday, December 14, 2007

A Salute to Two of My Favorite People

So, today is a big day: it's my mom and dad's 39th wedding anniversary. Unlike a lot of couples I know (Lipstick's always observing), my parents are still very much in love, and are often like teenagers with each other (in all the good ways). They've been dating since high school (she robbed the cradle) and they're still giddy, even after all these years....

When Dad went on a fly fishing trip with his buddies earlier this year, all he could think about, he said, as he waded the Chilean rivers, was how much he missed Mom and how he wasn't a guys guy, but instead, her guy. Some men might call him a pussy for saying this (and surely he didn't mention it over dinner that night to those he was traveling with), but I call him golden. (My sister-in-law is lucky, as my brother is a chip off the old block.) Mom, who is the epitome of the perfect mother, is one of the most generous, supportive and patient people I know and has allowed my dad to chase his dreams with reckless abandon. His dreams have become hers and vice versa. They are truly a team, united forever, on their journey as one.

Here are some secrets to their success:

Undying Support

They back each other 100% no matter what. They are very loyal and encouraging with each other (even when my dad had a perm -- see photo to right-- she still stood by his side...apparently everyone was doing it???).

Respect
I talk a lot about respect in our L & D book and learned all there is to know about it and its importance from watching my parents. They not only respect each other and boundaries associated with a committed, monogamous relationship, but they also respect themselves. Very important. I've said it before, but once you lose respect for someone, it's almost always a nail in the coffin. Unlike trust, which can be reacquired with some vigilant work, loss of respect is tough to reverse. They know it and they guard it.

Taking Care
They work hard (harder than on anything else) to take care of each other and their family every single day. It's is always their first priority and the older they get, this becomes even stronger and more instilled. We are a tribe and we all must remember to take good care of those we love. (Photo from when yours truly was presented as a debutante.)

Bending with a Smile
They still laugh; they still have fun; they still push each other each day. Just the other morning I called and they were getting ready to go spend the day together doing "whatever your mom wants" Dad said. I knew this would include shopping (which he hates and she loves) and that he'd do it with a smile. Just like Mom smiled when they floated down the river the week before even though she'd have rather been home reading a good book (maybe ours!) by the fire. They meet in the middle and bend when the wind blows.

Dad still brings Mom flowers/gifts just because and Mom still whips up their signature "first date" fudge when the romantic mood strikes her and I just love that. I've often pondered how having parents like mine (who are so in love and so supportive of me and my life) have affected me as an individual and I've come to one conclusion: It's made all the difference in the world.

So, I salute them today and wish them a happy anniversary.

I love you.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Lesbians and Nickelback

So often you write to us, we write back, but we never get to put a face to your name. This weekend, however, in Eugene, one of you who wrote to us for advice came up and introduced yourself. We didn’t remember your moniker Cell Hell but when you said “Nickelback” we remembered exactly who you were. Here’s a flashback to Curve magazine June 2007.

Dear Lipstick & Dipstick: My partner of three years has been acting strange lately. She's been hiding her cell phone whenever it rings and she never shows up on time. About two weeks ago, we went see Nickleback in concert. When we got there, I saw her texting someone, so I looked over her shoulder and saw she was writing a girl. I confronted her and she told me I was crazy. Later that night, when she was sleeping, I looked at her phone and saw another message from this girl: "Goodnight Sweet Cheeks. Until then…see you in my dreams." I woke her up and we got into a fight. She said she had no clue why this girl was texting her and promised to tell her to stop and that she really did love me. Things were fine for a week and then a couple of days ago there was another text from the same girl. I work nights and after I’d been gone, I found a text on her phone that said: "It meant so much to me that you held me in your arms all night. I love you." Again, I confronted her and she swears there’s nothing going on. I'm so confused and hurt and not sure what to believe. I need some good advice. — Cell Hell

Lipstick: Dayum—this is tragic. And not only because she’s a big fat liar, but also because you’re letting her pin you up as the fool. But before I go there, I have a question: do lesbians really go to Nickleback concerts? Anyway, this woman is a conniving wench who should get a boot up her ass immediately. Just like that song you love, it’s not like her to say she’s sorry. Your only mistake was handing her a heart worth breaking. Dump the fart stain (thanks Rosie) and do it fast, Cell Hell. Before you go, flush her phone down the toilet! I’m not kidding.

Dipstick: Lipstick is right about everything except flushing the cell. Instead, grab it and text the girl back, pretending to be your girlfriend. Call her Sweet Cheeks, Babe and throw in a Snookums for good measure. Butter her up and get her to admit to the sexing we all know is going on. Then, from your own phone, send your girlfriend this text message: F-CK OFF B-TCH.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Homo for the Holidays


This is a little piece Dipstick and I wrote in Curve this month. Thought we'd post it here, as it might help lessen the holiday blows as we move into these critical two weeks ahead of us when we're inundated with family and all the mayhem of the season. Click on it to read.


Tuesday, December 11, 2007

The L Word is Coming & I Can't Wait!


If there's one thing I hate about The L Word, it's how long we have to wait in between seasons. But January will be here soon enough and I can get my Alice cravings taken care of. Can you stand how hot she is?!!

Usually I host a Sunday night gathering of friends to watch and dissect The L Word, except for the season premiere. For the last two years, I've attended a party put on by HRC where I get to see the first episode in a room full of hot lesbian strangers, jammed in, breathing heavy and oogling a big screen presentation.

This year, Lipstick & I have been asked to host HRC's The L Word party in Portland. Please join us at the Bagdad Theater on January 6th. Doors open at 6pm, show starts at 7. Come early. Last year's line went around the block! You could win door prizes, plus it will be an opportunity to have us sign a copy of our book.

Afterward, head over to Crush, 1400 SE Morrison for the afterparty. See you there. But remember, Alice is mine!


Photo courtesy of Showtime

Monday, December 10, 2007

I'll Keep Out My Skis Because...


Dipstick and I are headed to Whistler after the new year for Winter Pride. It's February 3-10. The crazy butch and I will be hosting a women's party during the week of festivities.

Other entertainment includes musician Melissa Ferrick (below in the snow), comedian Debra DiGiovanni, Cirque du Soleil and more! Get your skis waxed and join us in February!



* Whistler photo by Rolf Hicker

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Buried in the Snow

I've been out of pocket this week up at Mount Hood cavorting around with Texas and our dear friends Hoogs and Minx. We went up to celebrate my birthday (I'm a Sagittarius) and to blow off some steam while partaking in snow sports.

Needless to say, good times were had by all and holy hell did it dump while we were up there. There is something so peaceful and meditative about snow, isn't there? We stayed at Timberline (famed for the Stanley Kubrick film "The Shining"). You can see Jack Nicholson coming toward Timberline lodge with an ax in this image.




And remember Redrum?






Hoogs and I skied and Minx snowboarded while Texas curled up with a book inside. After we retired for the night, we played cut throat Catch Phrase and Pictionary. The fireplaces in our rooms were one of the highlights. If you've never fallen asleep next to a roaring fireplace while it's snowing with your girlfriend, you need to put that on your Bucket List.

We also hit the Snow Bunny hill on innertubes. Texas, who is deathly afraid of heights, even conquered the mountain. Hoogs won the speed racer award and had the best spill off her tube; I'd pay money to have gotten that on film. She seemed to make cartoon Foley noises as she flipped upside down and bonked off her head. Can't you hear it? Afterwards ravaging our bodies, we stopped into Government Camp at the Ratskeller for a little nip to warm us up.

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Win a Date with Lipstick & Dipstick

The Portland Mercury is holding an online auction to raise money for charity. And one of the exciting items you get to bid on is a date with Lipstick & Dipstick. Bidding is pretty low right now. We really want to bring in more money than a date with Police Chief Rosie Sizer. We promise not to carry a gun to our date and we won't talk about rising crime rates on public transportation. We also promise to dress snazzier than the Chief and we won't bring up your past record. Everyone has a crime of passion in their past, don't they? To show how generous we are, we'll even allow you to bring a date to our date.

So, come on--do your good deed for the year. Bid on a date with Lipstick & Dipstick.

Friday, December 7, 2007

Join us in Eugene for Hot Flash!


Get your dancing shoes on and meet Lipstick & Dipstick in Eugene, Oregon this Saturday for Hot Flash. Hot Flash is a fun dance for women 35 & older and those who love us. Lipstick, I hope they don't card you at the door! Join us from 5-9pm at Indigo District on the corner of 13th and Oak in Eugene.

We'll be signing our books and hosting a great night of entertainment that includes dancing with DJ Lauren, Lesbian hip-hop artist KRITIK and a burlesque performance by Lady Luck Herself. Admission is only $8. Hope to see you there!

For more information, check out the Hot Flash Website.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Happy St. Nicholas Day


Today is St. Nicholas Day. Growing up, on the eve of this day, we would put our shoes out on the front porch and St. Nicholas would come and fill them with little gifts. Candies, socks or mittens and maybe a small stuffed animal. It's a German tradition that I've continued to do with my girlfriend.

I don't know about you, but I tend to get a lot of emails encouraging me to get a penis enlargement. If I wanted a bigger one, I'd just go to It's My Pleasure and buy one. But I did get a kick out of the ad. I hope you do too.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Welcome to Portland, Diane!

Lipstick and I couldn't be happier that our Executive Editor from Curve magazine, Diane Anderson-Minshall has moved to Portland.

We braved the flooded Portland streets to meet for cocktails to celebrate her arrival. We love Diane for many reasons. She took a chance on us and gave us our start in Curve magazine. She encourages and supports all our crazy Lipstick & Dipstick ideas. She mentors us and helps us grow as writers.

She is probably the smartest person I know. Whenever I meet with her, even just for a drink, I want to have a pen and notebook ready to take notes. She knows so much about everything: Pop culture, technology, fashion, lesbian culture, celebrity gossip and high stakes gambling.

Diane is a woman of many accomplishments, but one I'm sure she'd like us to mention is the publication of two lesbian murder mysteries: Blind Curves and Blind Leap with her partner Jake.

We love you Diane. Welcome to Portland.

Sunday, December 2, 2007

What I'm Doing Today


It's a windy, rainy nasty day here in Oregon. Which is just fine with me. It's a perfect day to stay inside and watch Women's College Basketball.

I'm especially excited to watch the Duke/Penn State game. Penn State has a new coach: Coquese Washington. Washington is replacing long-time Penn State coach Rene Portland who for years has been accused of discriminating against lesbian players. She resigned last year after 27 years as head coach. I practically threw a party when I head she was leaving the game.

I don't know Coquese personally, but she did play in Portland for the Portland Power of the ABL. I met her once with a gaggle of lesbians and she didn't give off a homophobic vibe.

There is just no more room for homophobia is sports. Especially women's sports. I hope the whole Rutgers/Don Imus debacle last year has elevated the respect for the women's game. That's a picture of Rutger's amazing coach C. Vivian Stringer on my TV. I've always been impressed with her, one of the few women of color head coaches. She's one of my role models.

I'm sure this will be one of many basketball posts as the season goes on. I could go on and on, but I've got to turn on the game.

Saturday, December 1, 2007

White Elephant Winner

At Texas' company Christmas parties each year, I'm usually one of the first to pick during the White Elephant gift exchange. Which means, someone always snatches what I pick (if it's cool) and I end up with a porcelain figurine of a heterosexual couple (it made it's fifth appearance this year), a pasta measure ring or a Santa that blows bubbles out of his butt (I kind of like this one). A couple years ago, it nearly went to blows (a different kind) over the dancing African American Santa (I lost) and the year before, I scored Dipstick some vintage Fonz drinking glasses after bribing Texas' cohort with a piece of cheesecake and a twenty.

This year was different--I had the edge--and I used it to my advantage. I was second to last to choose, so I got my pick of gifts to take. I stole something I'd had my eye on during the hour-long tug of war: A Red Faucet Light. (It will look killer in my writing space's bathroom.) I lifted it from the owner of the real estate firm Texas works through, a dyke who we LOVE (pictured here as I snatch it from her!). She was a great sport about it, but I thought I was going to pee my pants at this point (wine always makes me silly).


Such fun and such a great group of people Texas works with side-by-side. Her office is known as the gay RE/MAX and nearly half her fellow realtors also dabble in same-sex yum yum. I wish I'd snapped a pic of Texas last night; she looked absolutely amazing! I'm the luckiest women on earth.

Let's the holiday festivities begin!

As I type, it is snowing outside.

Friday, November 30, 2007

The Thanksgiving Rack


Well, my luggage finally did catch up to me at my parents and I was able to disperse the copies of Lipstick & Dipstick’s Essential Guide to Lesbian Relationships that I had brought for my family. I handed them out and told my family that it was adult content and my nieces and nephews weren’t allowed to read it until they turned 18.

They all opened a book and started reading. It got very quiet around the dessert table. My dad was the one to break the silence. “What’s a rack?” he asked. Uh, oh. If dad doesn’t know what a rack is, he’s going to have a hard time with cunnilingus crack, gold star and polyamory. Maybe I should have said no one over 65 was allowed to read it either. I can’t imagine the emails I’m going to get from him!

© Photo by Arlen Roche

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Lesbian Speed Dating

Dipstick and I had fun chatting with Denise and Donna last night on the Lesbian Lounge. They're a real hoot! You can listen to the podcast for free on iTunes. Go the Music Store and search podcasts for Lesbian Lounge. Click on the Girl Radio box on top of screen and it will open up a treasure chest of Lesbian Lounge podcasts. Ours (Nov. 28) isn't posted yet, but will be tomorrow (Friday). We call in about 15 minutes into the show.

In the last year, Denise and Donna have interviewed a fabulous lezzies, including Angela Robinson (Director L Word + DEBS), Stacy Codikow (founder of POWER UP), Sharon Gless (Queer as Folk), and actors from Curl Girls, Bravo's Work Out, Itty Bitty Titty Committee and Exes and Ohs. And you can listen to all of these for FREE! Who says nothing in life is free?

Before I go off into the cold rain today, I had to post this hilarious skit about lesbian speed dating. It is classic!

Are lesbians really that easy to peg? Unfortunately (or fortunately!), we are.

Enjoy.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Lipstick & Dipstick on the Lesbian Lounge Tonight!


I am so excited. Tonight Lipstick & I get to be guests on my favorite radio program: The Lesbian Lounge. We'll be dishing it with hilarious hosts Denise and Donna, talking about our new book, lesbian relationship advice and sex and dating tips.

One of the great things about The Lesbian Lounge is that it's internet radio, so therefore, we are not regulated by the FCC. We can say pussy, cunnilingus and any other dirty word that comes to mind. And the other great thing is you can tune in anywhere in the world. Oh yeah, and you can also join in the chat room on Gay Internet Radio Live and chat with other Lesbian Lounge listeners and hosts Denise and Donna. How cool is that?

So, join us tonight at 6pm PST or 9pm EST on My Lesbian Radio or Gay Internet Radio Live. If you miss the show, you can also download the podcast from itunes for free.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Bra shopping with my dad

The long eight hour flight from Portland to Syracuse turned even longer when fog wreaked havoc on the Chicago airport and all flights were delayed. I finally got on my connecting flight, four hours later than scheduled. When the pilot came on and announced we couldn’t take off because the toilet was clogged, there was nothing all of us trapped passengers could do but laugh.

So, I was not all together surprised, when I finally met my Mom at baggage claim at 11:30 pm-- six hours later than expected --and we discovered my bag was missing.

The next afternoon, dressed in a t-shirt borrowed from my brother, socks from my mom and my underwear turned inside out, I called the airline, only to find out they still hadn’t located my bag.

“We’d better go shopping,” my dad declared. For political reasons, my dad refuses to step foot into the mall. So that left us with one option for bras and underwear: Target.

As my dad and I made our way to the ladies lingerie department, I’m not sure which one of us felt more out of place.

“Here’s some,” he said, pointing to the pink packages of bikinis, thongs and low rise panties the lined the wall. “What size are you?” he wanted to know, flipping through the sale three-packs of briefs. "What's wrong with these?" Have you ever tried to explain to your dad that briefs are too high and bikinis are too low? And that I really just wanted to head to the men's department and buy some boxers. Me neither, until today.

I just had no idea what to buy at the Target women’s aisle. Somehow I couldn't figure out a way to tell my Dad I preferred men's underwear. Finally I saw a package called “boy cut.” I grabbed my size and threw them into the basket.

It was on to bras. “What kind of boob holder do you want?” he asked. My Dad was starting to feel more comfortable. I stared at the rows of sports bras and realized I had no idea what size or cup I am. I had to call my girlfriend to ask. Dad didn’t seem phased by that. In fact it seemed to make perfect sense to him. You gotta love him. Plus, he paid.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

The Nectar of the Gods


The day after Thanksgiving, we hit the Oregon road in a limo in search of sweet nectar from the vine. (Quite a juxtaposition from earlier in the week when we delivered food to low-income families.) We didn't have to drive far from Portland to find our first goldmine: Owen Roe. They had some great Pinots and delicious cheeses, all housed in a charming barn decked out with holiday greens. Our next stop was at Sineann (pronounced Shah-nayne), where they also featured Medici wines.

Once all 13 of us piled back into the limo, we headed out into the hills of the Willamette Valley in search of our next stop. The roads, many of them dirt, were glowing with the setting sun, casting a magnificent amber hue across the endless rows of grapes. Stop #3 was our favorite: Bergström. Damn they make some great wine! They also had a really nice spread of herb breads and cheeses. The last tasting room we hit was Argyle. If you drink reds or brut, you've probably seen their labels at your local market. They're known for good, solid everyday wine.

Finally, it was time for dinner and we were all starving as we pulled into this culinary gem: The Joel Palmer House. Texas and I had dined here before, but it was better than ever. This may well have been the highlight of the day; the 13 of us were gathered around one huge table ready for something (believe it or not) other than wine. Located in Dayton, Oregon, the Joel Palmer house has been written up numerous times in the New York Times (and everywhere else important) for their unique dishes with mushrooms, all picked in the wild. Fantastic.

For me, yesterday was one of those days that could've gone on forever. Like a small handful of other times of late, I got caught up in that euphoric space, surrounded by friends and laughter, when all I wanted to do is somehow stop time, or bottle up the energy for a day when the sun's not out, when there aren't any friends around and there isn't a bottle of Pinot Noir within arm's reach.

Good times.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Bowling with the Belges

Sorry I haven't had much time to blog. I'm with my family. But I'm collecting lots of good stories for the future. in the meantime, my twin sister and I took all my nieces and nephews bowling today. Here we are. See if you can tell which one is Dipstick. At one point I looked up at the scoreboard and we had the exact same score. Weird twin shit. But in the end, I did end up beating her by one point.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

What I'm Thankful For Today

For Thanksgiving this year, I'm not just thankful to have a roof over my head or food on the table. To me, it's more than the loving friends I'm surrounded by or the life I've built with Texas*. For this moment, it's even bigger than the gratitude I feel for how close I am with my family. Right now, I'm thankful for LESBIAN TURKISH OIL WRESTLING.



Happy Thanksgiving!

xo
Lip

* Texas is Lipstick's wife.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Yams, Gravy and Punkin Pie

John D. Rockefeller once said: "Think of giving not as a duty but as a privilege." And I couldn't agree more.

On Monday, a group of friends and I volunteered our time to pack boxes of food for Thanksgiving. In this dusty, nondescript room, we tossed cans of yams, bags of potatoes and pumpkin pies at one another until we'd filled all the boxes. Then, me and the gaggles of girls (all dykes) loaded up our cars and headed out into the world. We had a list of places we'd go, families that were expecting us with open arms to provide them with the essential ingredients for their Thanksgiving feast, one they wouldn't have had without help.

Most of the low-income people we visited with were very friendly and invited us inside their apartments. One Romanian family gave us apples as a token of thanks; we tried to refuse the fruit, but they insisted, almost as if it would have been insulting to walk away empty-handed. So, we graciously accepted and then split up the fruit amongst the rest of the boxes. One man was eagerly waiting for us on his balcony, even though it was cold and rainy out. The smile on his face as we approached was priceless. In another apartment, it seemed that there were six people living there. Maybe there were. Or maybe there were more.

As I close this morning and bid you a wonderful Thanksgiving tomorrow, I leave you with one more quote and encourage you, too, to give back this holiday season. "I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver." Maya Angelou knew the secret of giving back and now, so do I. Sure, you do it for others so they can taste a little bit of the good life, but you also do it for yourself. Why you ask? Because nothing--I mean nothing--fills you up, and reminds you of the adbundance in your life, like helping someone in need.

Give it a go!

Monday, November 19, 2007

Look Out World :: Here We Come!


"Get out the map, get out the map
And lay your finger anywhere down.
We'll leave the figuring to those we pass
On the way out of town..."

Get ready world, because Lipstick & Dipstick are coming to a town near you. That's right, Lipstick and I met last week to plan our upcoming book tour. Nothing is set in stone yet, but it's looking like we'll be in Whistler for Winter Pride in February, plus a few Portland area appearances.

March we'll hit Seattle and San Francisco.

April we'll head to the sunny Southwest and visit Palm Springs, Vegas, Phoenix, San Diego, LA and Tucson, AZ.

Later on in April and early May, we'll cross New York State and Massachusetts, visiting friends and family in Buffalo, Syracuse, Albany, NYC, Boston and Northampton.

Not to miss the heat and humidity, we'll tour the mid-west in July, hitting places like Chicago, Madison, Minneapolis and Milwaukee, WI.

Of course, we'll also make gay pride appearances all throughout June. As things firm up, we'll post them here and send out email reminders.

In the meantime, all you Eugene, OR ladies, be sure to come and see us at the Hot Flash Dance. Eugene Hot Flash is held at the Indigo District on December 8th from 5-9pm. We'll be signing our books and will read an excerpt. Plus, I'm sure we'll have a few open slots on our dance cards. Let's get this party started!!

Friday, November 16, 2007

Thanks for the love

We were just informed that you, our beloved readers, have voted us the #1 column in Curve magazine again! (This according to a web poll.) Merci! Merci!

As always, we appreciate each and every one of you and it fills our hearts to know you enjoy our advice...even though I'm usually the one who's right.

Happy Weekend.

Peace Out,
Lip

PS: Don't forget to buy our book if you haven't already!

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Somebody Get Me a Bag of Ice


Because I just fell out of my chair and hit my head when I heard Anne Murray's new duet with KD Lang. Not to mention her singing Danny's Song with Martina McBride. And a song with Jann Arden. And Emmylou Harris. And Carole King. And Nelly Furtado. And Olivia Newton-John. And the Indigo Girls. Seriously, someone pinch me. I feel like I'm in lezbo heaven.

If you're an Anne Murray fan (and, I must admit, I am an even bigger fan of hers than Barry's--they are my top two) you probably already knew she was working on a duets album. The bad news is it doesn't come out until January. The good news is you can hear all of these dyke-liciuos songs (in their entirety) on her website. Consider this an early Christmas present.

Anne Murray or die,
Lipstick

PS: When is she going to come out of the closet?

UPDATE (11/17): Texas just informed me that--duh--you can buy the cd through her website, where it says "CD Available, Buy it Now". I guess you just can't buy it anywhere else until Jan.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Lipstick & Dipstick's Essential Guide: In Stores Now!

Our book is now in stores. It's one thing to get a box of books at your house, to hold it in your hands and to flip through the pages. It's exciting, for sure. But seeing it on the shelves of a bookstore is quite another thrill.

I stopped in at Powell's Books yesterday just to visit our book on the shelf. There it was, on an end cap, propped up, sandwiched between two other amazing lesbian books.

Now we know that our book is out there, ready for anyone pick up, flip through and hopefully buy. Our child is all grown up and out there in the world, trying to hold its own next to lesbian classics Drag King Dreams and Aimee and Jaguar.

If you buy our book at a store, drop us a line and let us know where you bought it.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Lesbian Beach Weekends Through the Years



I just returned from a weekend at the beach with a group of friends. We had a great time, but it really got me thinking about how beach trips with my lesbian friends have changed over the years.

Back in college a group of us took a trip to the beach for Spring Break. Days were spend playing football on the beach, followed by a nights of tequila shots followed by weeks of drama because someone inevitably slept with someone else’s girlfriend.

After college I fell in with a group of Goddess-loving, Birkenstock-wearing hippie dykes. Beach trips with that clan often involved a bonfire with the full moon as a backdrop, some kind of hand-holding circle and of course, a sing-alongs to a folk guitar.

In my later 20s and early 30s, I started hanging back out with athletic types, but instead of football games on the beach, we would go for long mountain bike rides, strenuous hikes and body surf until we were spitting out salt water. At night we’d soak in the hot tub, drink light beer and strategize about putting a team together for AIDS cycle.

Now that we’re in our late 30s and early 40s, beach trips are bit mellower. We might talk about waking for an early morning run, but soon it’s noon and no one has left the coffee pot. We hike -- into town for more bottles of wine and provisions for the gourmet meals we spend hours preparing. And instead of bouncing quarters into glasses, we sit around a large table playing board games, trying to keep our laughter down so as not to wake the toddler.

Through all these eras and phases, the key ingredient was a good group of friends to relax and have fun with. Isn’t that what life is all about?

Monday, November 12, 2007

Ashleigh Flynn Performing Tuesday


If you're in Portland, Oregon this week you're in luck. Ashleigh Flynn will be performing at Mississippi Studios on Tuesday at 8pm with Antje Duvekot. Tickets are $10-12. If you haven't seen a performance in this venue, you are in for a treat. It's very intimate and has great acoustics. And if you haven't seen Ashleigh perform you're in double luck. She's fantastic! Check it out. Details below:

Tuesday, 11/13: 8pm - $10/$12

Ashleigh Flynn
Ashleigh Flynn hails from Kentucky where she grew up foot stomping along the Ohio River as the steamboats and barges made their way to the muddy Mississippi . A songwriter of exceptional emotional depth and intelligence, Flynn is also an electrifying performer blessed with unbridled charisma and the voice of a fallen angel.

Flynn performed at the 2004 Falcon Ridge Folk Festival as a chosen emerging artist, and has performed at Bumbershoot, NxNW, NW Music Fest, Nashville New Music Festival, NEMO, Oregon Country Fair, GoGirls SxSW Showcase, Willamette Valley Folk Festival, Oregon Zoo, Seattle Zoo, Vancouver BC New Music Festival.

Flynn has toured with Willy Porter, Erin McKeown, Ellis Paul, Great Big Sea , and Jerry Joseph. On her home turf (Pacific NW) Flynn has shared stages with Joan Baez, Nancy Griffith, Jonatha Brooke, Wilco, David Wilcox, Chris Smither, Chris Pureka, Melissa Ferrick, Michelle Malone, and Tegan and Sarah, among others, primarily at the Oregon Zoo and the Aladdin Theatre.

In addition, she has earned accolades in the Falcon Ridge Folk Festival Emerging Artist Showcase, Great American Song Contest, and the Willamette Valley Folk Fest New Song contest.

Antje Duvekot
"Antje Duvekot's provocative, dark-eyed ballads are becoming the talk of the folk world." ~ The Boston Globe

"I think she's going to be the next great American folk singer-songwriter." ~ Songwriting star Ellis Paul.

Solas was putting its career on the line. The Irish supergroup had risen to international stardom with its Celtic repertoire; but it would now release an entire CD of works by contemporary songwriters. They spent months hunting for just the right songs. As Solas founder Seamus Egan recalls now, "We knew it became much less risky if we had great songs."

"The Edge of Silence" was a critical and commercial triumph, and both Billboard and the Irish Echo said the CD's clear highlight was the writing of an obscure German-American songwriter named Antje Duvekot. Based on the quality of her writing, Solas' founder, Seamus Egan produced Duvekot's first major studio CD, "Big Dream Boulevard."

It is hard to recall when a fledgling folk songwriter has been more highly touted by her musical peers. Legendary producer Neil Dorfsman, who produced "Edge of Silence," and CDs by Dylan, Bruce Springsteen, Sting, and Dire Straits, says, "Her songs are stunning paintings of color and shade, and always generate the heat and light that real art should."

"Somehow, she's able to open the personal out to be universal," Egan says, "which most songwriters aren't able to do. You know, they're able to get one or the other, but not both. That's something that separates Antje from the rest."

But first, you notice the voice. Where so many songwriters stretch for their highest notes, hoping to impress and astound, Duvekot bravely mines her deep reaches, where the dark feelings lurk. It softens her phrasing, leading us in with whispers, letting us know she believes every word she sings. Her melodies seem like suddenly occurring thoughts, matching the hushed, conversational allure of her singing. They feel so immediate, so in synch with her lyrics; and yet also snugly rooted, oddly familiar, like memories you can't quite recall. She sings, and writes, as if she thinks songs are important; not as a means to an end, but as tools of survival. And for her, that's just what they are.

Duvekot was born in Heidelberg, Germany and moved to Delaware with her family at the age of thirteen. She refers to music as her "lifeboat" during this difficult relocation. She discovered the subterranean folk world of urban songwriters like Ellis Paul, John Gorka, and Ani DiFranco. She made little tapes of them, and listened while she wandered through her strange new world. As she told the Boston Globe in 2005, "The only time I was truly happy as a teenager was walking around the neighborhood, listening to my folk tapes." "My English wasn't so good yet," she recalls now, "but I just loved the kind of melancholy, solitary aspect of the songs. And I could tell that these people were saying something important. That was profound and meaningful to me, even before I knew just what it was they were saying. It was like these artists were actually talking to me, not just making sounds." Duvekot believes that her bicultural upbringing, and her relative newness to English, helped shape her unique way with a song. "When I came to America," she says, "I wasn't communicating very well to other people, just to myself through my art. And I think that's a different way, not as linear or analytical. I was just kind of making up my own guerilla English, my own way of saying things. I didn't understand the right slang and clich�s, so I made up my own. visit Antje's myspace

Friday, November 9, 2007

Portia on Nip Tuck


Vava Vooom! Did you all see Portia on NIP/TUCK this week? Yikes! We recorded it and just watched it last night. Yummmmy. Even if you're not a NIP/TUCK fan, you should definitely watch this season as Julia (Joely Richardson) falls for Portia's character Olivia. No doubt there will be some juicy scenes, since NIP/TUCK is never one to takes the safe, PG road. Created/writer Ryan Murphy (who's also openly gay) is a genius.

Set your Tivos!

Thursday, November 8, 2007

What Happens in Vegas...



















Stays in Vegas. Except for these little details from our trip to sin city:

We hit the city big this week to celebrate Nana's 82nd birthday. And what a time we had. After checking into the Wynn, Texas, Nana, my parents and I, hit their casino and hit it hard. Blackjack is Texas and my game and we don't mess around. We're all business until the dealer busts or one of us draws a blackjack. And then anything goes. Hoots and hollers, whistles, high fives or even a smooch at the table.

Overall, we did give sin city all of their chips back, but had a kick ass time losing. Doesn't that count for something? To us it does. Nana won, which was fitting, since it was her big birthday.

Aside from the endless games of blackjack we played, other highlights from our Vegas trip include: Naps by the pool. Ahhh. The sun was out and it was a scorcher to these Oregonians, especially this time of year. Although it was brave for Texas and I to put these painfully white bodies in bathing suits, we couldn't resist. Everyone needs Vitamin D that doesn't come in a multi-vitamin every now in then.

Le Reve was also a highlight, although we all agreed that O was far better. There was some girl on girl in Le Reve, however, which earned it some extra points from all of us, even Nana. Even though she's straight, she loves her some lesbian action. Not only is one of her granddaughters/soul mates a lesbo (me!), she also loves the L Word and has just discovered Exes and Ohs (on her own!). She's a great ally.

The world stopped turning on the last night when we stepped into the Las Vegas Hilton to see Barry Manilow. Holy Hell does that man put on a great show! We were all huge Barry fans going in and Nana was especially wooed by him. You probably wouldn't guess this, but I'm a biggest Fanilow out there, second only to Nana. Texas took me several years ago and I actually shook Barry's hand. I took some video for you to enjoy below. The first one is when Barry came out. The second when he sang "Even Now" and then when he ended up over our heads singing Copacabana on a jutting bridge. Fucking awesome!

Other mentionables:

- A great dinner at The Country Club (at the Wynn). The best steak ever.

- Spending quality time with my parents and Nana.

- Texas and I were at the Imperial Palace very late one night and this drunk chick (she left the table at one point to puke--Texas heard her in the bathroom) yelled across the table to Texas: YOU HAVE HUGE BOOBS! Texas had just hit a blackjack and had thrown her arms up, prompting the girl to notice and comment. It was hilarious. She was a frickin' mess. Knocking over her chips and burning holes in the felt. Classic.

- We were at Harrah's one afternoon, again, playing BJ, when the dealer asked Texas and I if were related (for the tenth time that trip). It happens ALL the time. No one ever assumes we're a couple. Ever.

"Sisters?" the man said.
"No," Texas sighed, rolling her eye. "Try again."
With that, the dealer, kidding and very dramatically said:
"Are you lessssbian lovvvvvers?"
"Yes!" I exclaimed. "Bingo!"

The table was kind of quiet after that.





Wednesday, November 7, 2007

This Just In: Fat is Healthy

Just as we suspected. The federal Centers for Disease Control has determined that overweight people have a lower death rate than people who are normal or underweight. Overweight people are less likely to have Alzheimer's, Parkinson's and lung disease.

Which just goes to show that Stacy Bias and Fat Girl Speaks are onto something. Fat is not only healthy, it's just a normal part of the diversity of the human body. Plus, it's sexy as hell. Especially when you feel empowered to flaunt your fabulous flab. That's exactly what Lipstick & I witnessed at the Third Annual Fat Girl Speaks. Read our account from Curve magazine.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Dipstick's Cat Herbie


My cat Herbie likes birds. So do I. As a matter of fact, I have several bird feeders and a bird bath to entice them into my yard. But I thought it was cruel that she was catching them. After I pried a frightened, but unharmed goldfinch from her jaws, I decided it was time put a bell around her neck.

The warning bell seems to be working, because she hasn’t caught any birds since. She has, however, moved on to mice. Which is fine with me, I don’t really like mice and I’m not enticing them into my yard.

The only problem is, when Herbie catches a mouse, the first thing she does is run through her kitty door into the house with it. Where she promptly drops it on the floor. Still alive.

At which point my dog Rocky gets involved. He chases Herbie and the mouse hightails it. Usually under a bookcase or the fridge. The other night I heard a kafuffle. I knew it was Herbie with a mouse again. Under my dresser. She and the dog, keeping vigil. I don’t think it’s ever come out. I can only imagine one day I’m going to reach for a pair of socks to find a little mouse nestled in a pair of my smartwool hikers.

But the worst has already happened. One day my wife Tiger went down for an afternoon nap. The screams from the bedroom clearly announced what had happened. Yup, right under her pillow. You can bet I shake the sheets out before I climb into bed these days.