Carla's Hunt for a Girlfriend - Part One

Our latest webisode is on Curve Magazine's website. Be sure to check it out. Dipstick and I helped Carla, a single gal looking for love. Part Two will be posted next week, so stay tuned.

Looking for Someone to Kiss This New Year's Eve?

If you're trolling the internet for a little angel to kiss this New Year's Eve, consider this a late Christmas present. I recently posted this blog on Curve's website: Lip's Tips: Curve Personals Advice. If you're new (or even old) to the online dating scene, you must heed this advice.

CURVE Personals Advice

So, my good friend and I were trolling the CURVE Personals the other night looking to find her a date and I was amazed. You see, it's the first time I'd ever been on the CURVE Personals and had no idea that so many women were so clueless about how to best represent themselves. If you haven't been to CURVE's new website, you should check it out. If you haven't been to CURVE Personals and you're single, check that out, too. The word on the street with single girls is that CURVE's the best roundup of women on the Internet.

In light of this revelation (lesbians don't know how to properly put themselves out there), I decided to jot down some tips for those of you who are out there or thinking about joining. Here goes:

++ In the photos section of your page, don't only put pictures of your dog. People want to see YOU.

++ In the same vein, don't just put one picture--the best one ever taken of you nine years ago in a group at the perfect angle. Give people at least four to see and represent yourself accurately.

++ Don't have the photos of you be taken from across the street or with any sort of crazy Photoshop filter. Again, let women see YOU for who you really are.

++ Be truthful about your stats. I saw women who said they had an athletic body, who clearly didn't. Maybe they like sports, and maybe back in the day they had an athletic build, but not so much anymore. What people want to know is what's going on NOW.

++ I also think CURVE should add a "Fuck Off" or "Scram" button to the application next to the "Smile" button. That way, when interested people contact you even though they're NOTHING like what you said you're looking for in your profile, you can get rid of them. The explicative button would be for those clingy lezzies who just don't take a hint. My friend tells me there are plenty of them.

++ Also in the same vein, read what each woman is looking for (physically and romantically) before you write her. Don't waste anyone's time, including yours.

++ Choose your photos carefully. Not only is it important to pick ones that accurately represent you, but don't put "come and fuck me" pics of you half naked. Save this behavior for our gay brothers.

++ When you "smile" at too many people or to the same women too many times, there should be an error button that pops up and say, "Calm Down" or "Cool it." Use that smile button with some discretion. When you smile, mean it.

Silky Suede :: The Perfect Date

Lipstick and I often say that if you want to keep your relationship healthy and strong, you need to take your sweetie out on romantic dates. Whether it's a picnic, a movie or a concert, you've got to get out and do something fun and different. Make sure you hold hands some time during the date and make-out at the end of the night. Well, if you're scratching your head, trying to figure out where to go on your next date, we've got the answer. Take her to see Suede in concert.

Suede's music is quintessential date music. She's one of the most popular acts on Olivia Cruises and Dipstick swoons every time she pulls out her trumpet. Here's what others have to say about her:

This musical maven doesn't just sing to you, she sings for you. Her voice takes you to the places you've always wanted to go. Ethereal, moonlit places. She can tickle the ivories, bring it to you on guitar, or rally the troops with her trumpet. But it's her voice, with its unmistakable harmony and spectral melody, that is guaranteed to give you goose bumps the size of cherries. And this girl has fans, honey. We're talking Grateful Dead, red-eye flight, 900-mile road trip fans."

-WOMO, Washington, DC

" Voices like hers come along maybe once in a generation!"

-New York Post

"Her voice is like peppermints dipped in honey"

-CHTV (Christchurch, New Zealand)

Suede Concert Dates

Friday, June 6 - Seattle, WA
Triple Door, 8pm
216 Union St

Saturday, June 7 - Portland, OR
The Aladdin Theater, 8pm
3017 SE Milwaukie Ave

Sunday, June 8 - San Francisco, CA
The Rrazz room at Hotel Nikko, 7pm
222 Mason St.

Wed., June 11 - Santa Cruz, CA
don Quixote's, 7:00
6275 hwy 9, Felton, CA

Friday, June 13 - Santa Monica, CA
McCabe's, 8pm
3101 Pico Blvd

Even if you don't live in one of the cities Suede will be performing in, you can buy her new sexy, romantic CD Dangerous Mood. Because stay at home dates are fun too!
For more Suede dates, check out Suedewave.com

_{Photo by brad fowler}

Our First Date

Last night Lipstick and I had a lovely first date with Caron. Caron had the winning bet on the Portland Mercury’s “Win a Date with Lipstick & Dipstick” auction in December.

We met her at Zaytoon’s and splurged on hummus, zataar and laban, yummy Lebanese food. Although Caron claimed she didn’t need any advice--come on, all lesbians need advice, even if it’s just on their wardrobe, we didn’t push. It was our first date afterall.

But we did learn a few fun facts about Caron. She met her girlfriend at the lesbian bar, is starting a new career as a pawnbroker, (Not prawn broker) and is an incredible portrait photographer.

I think we liked Caron enough to ask her out on a second date. What fun! Thank you Portland Mercury.

Win a Date with Lipstick & Dipstick

The Portland Mercury is holding an online auction to raise money for charity. And one of the exciting items you get to bid on is a date with Lipstick & Dipstick. Bidding is pretty low right now. We really want to bring in more money than a date with Police Chief Rosie Sizer. We promise not to carry a gun to our date and we won't talk about rising crime rates on public transportation. We also promise to dress snazzier than the Chief and we won't bring up your past record. Everyone has a crime of passion in their past, don't they? To show how generous we are, we'll even allow you to bring a date to our date.

So, come on--do your good deed for the year. Bid on a date with Lipstick & Dipstick.

Lesbian Speed Dating

Dipstick and I had fun chatting with Denise and Donna last night on the Lesbian Lounge. They're a real hoot! You can listen to the podcast for free on iTunes. Go the Music Store and search podcasts for Lesbian Lounge. Click on the Girl Radio box on top of screen and it will open up a treasure chest of Lesbian Lounge podcasts. Ours (Nov. 28) isn't posted yet, but will be tomorrow (Friday). We call in about 15 minutes into the show.

In the last year, Denise and Donna have interviewed a fabulous lezzies, including Angela Robinson (Director L Word + DEBS), Stacy Codikow (founder of POWER UP), Sharon Gless (Queer as Folk), and actors from Curl Girls, Bravo's Work Out, Itty Bitty Titty Committee and Exes and Ohs. And you can listen to all of these for FREE! Who says nothing in life is free?

Before I go off into the cold rain today, I had to post this hilarious skit about lesbian speed dating. It is classic!

Are lesbians really that easy to peg? Unfortunately (or fortunately!), we are.

Enjoy.