Monday, November 9, 2009

Best Lesbian Jokes


While Dip and I are on the Sweet Cruise, I thought I'd drop this list of the best lesbians jokes of all time to keep you amused. Some of them I'd never heard and are pretty damn funny. Enjoy! We'll do our best to blog a time or two while on the boat.



1. What do you call a pantry full of lesbians?

A: A licker cabinet.

2. What do you call an Eskimo lesbian?

A: A Klondyke.

3. What do you call 100 lesbians with guns?

A: Militia Etheridge.

4. Why can't lesbians diet and wear make-up at the same time?

A: Because they can't eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on their face.

5. What do you call two lesbians in a canoe?

A: Fur Traders

6. What is a lesbian dinosaur called?

A: Lickalotapuss

7. What do you call a lesbian with long fingers?

A: Well Hung

8. Did you hear that Ellen DeGeneres drowned?

A: She was found face down in Ricki Lake

9. How can you tell a tough lesbian bar?

A: Even the pool table doesn't have balls


10. What do you call lesbian twins?

A: Lick-a-likes

11. What's the definition of confusion?

A: Twenty blind lesbians in a fish market

12. What's the difference between a Ritz cracker and a lesbian?

A: One's a snack cracker, the other's a crack snacker

13. What do you have when you've got 50 lesbians and 50 Government workers?

A: 100 people that don't do dick


177 comments:

Daxie said...

How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. And it's not funny.

And neither are these 'jokes'. Sorry, but I take offense.

Anonymous said...

I loved the jokes personally. It's time to get over being PC and be able to laugh at lesbianism. It can be funny.

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Cialis said...

I think these are quite funny.

Anonymous said...

I agree these are offensive and not funny at all

Tasha Monae said...

Im a lesbian and i even laughed its not that serious ladies

Tasha Monae said...

Im a lesbian and i even laughed its not that serious ladies

Sarah said...

I to am a lesbian & laughed my arse off, get a grip ladies & a sense of humour.....!!!

Tabitha said...

Hilarious!!! Lighten up ladies, jokes are supposed to make you laugh! In no way are these offensive........

Tabitha said...

Hilarious!!! Lighten up ladies, jokes are supposed to make you laugh! In no way are these offensive........

Anonymous said...

hahaha wow. but seriously. im lesbian and i love to make lesbian jokes. my favorite is the fish market one xD

Anonymous said...

I am a lesbain and blonde I don't take offense to either kind of joke. Its good to laught. Good for the heart soul mind and sanity.

Anonymous said...

Quit bitchin -_-

Anonymous said...

Agree! Way funny

Anonymous said...

I'm a lesbian and I laughed my butt off at some of these... Love it!

Jeff Adair said...

Daxie stop whining i take offense that you do not respect my right to find humor in unnatural behavior.

Jeff Adair said...

Oh wow her comment was from'09 oops.

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Did you hear about the new lesbian shoe called Diké, it has an extra long tongue and you can get it off with one finger.

Anonymous said...

Amen. I'm a lesbian and I laughed and told the jokes to my lesbians friends! If u take offense to them then u shouldn't be gay cuz its life! It happens.

Anonymous said...

dude im lesbian and find these jokes funny . pull that stick out your ass -.-

Anonymous said...

Lmao...if ur a lesbian girl,i'm a lesbian boy...i luv ds jokes..

Anonymous said...

Me and my straight best friends go back and forth with lesbian jokes. I'm not offended. I think it's Great that we can laugh at these jokes. If you take offense to it then maybe you arnt really gay, or that your not comfortable with it.

Anonymous said...

I personally think that these were funny. If we can laugh at straight people jokes then we can most certainly do it to lesbian jokes(:

No offense to anyone(:

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