Okay, so I'm kind of dating this girl. We talk everyday. We see one another a lot, we kiss, flirt, all the stuff that goes along with dating. We do not have sex. Just thought I would throw that out there before you think I'm more horrible then you will in a minute. There's only one problem. She's been in a relationship for 8 yrs with her girlfriend. They have two kids. They've broken up a few times. There's been infidelity issues, and they no longer have sex. While I respect the fact that I am a complete and total schmuck for getting involved with a woman that's in a relationship, at the same time I don't want to let her go. She's amazing. She keeps asking me where was I 5 months ago, the last time her and her girl split up. Is this one of those set it free, see if it comes back moments? Can we still be friends if she decides to fix things with her other half?
Falling Down A Hole
And this is our response:
You hit the nail on the head. It's one of those set it free and see if she comes back to you situations. This woman is very tangled in her other life and you are a distraction for her to deal with the issues that are going on there. She needs to deal with not only the issues of her relationship, but her own internal issues about why things didn't work out between them. As long as she has you to distract her, she won't get to those.
And while we're on issues, you should also take this time to reflect on what it is inside you that allowed you to get involved with someone who is unavailable. You can joke and say it's because you're a schmuck, but my guess is it's something deeper.
Warning: if she is not able to be faithful to one lover, chances are shewon't be able to be faithful to you either. My bet is, it's best for you to move on from this lady and far. Friendship is probably not an option at this point. Maybe in the future when you're both clearer about what has drawn you to each other.
Lipstick & Dipstick
It seems Falling forwarded our answer to the lady mentioned above. When said lady replied to Falling, she accidentally cc’ed us. Reading her response, I’m even more concerned for Falling. God brought them together? Oh My!
Oh and she sent it from her work. Not the brightest. I hope her boss wasn’t cc’ed too! Read on:
First of all you weren't completely honest with them I would NEVER cheat on YOU...You cheated on me remember, I understand this blanket situation but Alix we both know God brought us together, life is supernatural and NOT blanket between us. Once a cheater always a cheater.... do you really believe that? Because if you do then you will cheat on me again.... let’s think about OUR story not others stories. When I cheated on Sarah it was because I was alone and didn't know better nature vs. nurture, my mom has cheated lied been married 8 times, had five engagement rings at one time then she had her accident and when all five men were at the hospital, there I was 12 years old scared confused alone, almost lost my mom, her face was gone they had to reconstruct everything, imagine that an only child, my only mom, dead on the bed, glass protruding from her face her arms, blood everywhere, her face the size of a watermelon and me there alone with five men who loved her, who hated her, I was lost, and I had secrets, secrets of incest, secrets of love in my dreams, secrets of sexuality ,It took years to recover, some days I'm still wounded, I NEVER thought about ever leaving just settling, I know I'm not ugly I know some women find me attractive and some have tempted me but I said NO NO, then you, your light set me free.....I fell in love with you the moment I saw you....That moment my life changed forever, I was forever in love with you.....don't trivialize my feelings for you Alix, it's NOT BLANKET, it's supernatural!
Now that you know the whole story. What would you say to Falling and her married girlfriend?