DIPSTICK: Lipstick and I had a blast last weekend in Eugene for the OUT/LOUD Women’s Festival. We were asked to emcee the event. It all went well, except Lipstick kinda misunderstood our role.
LIPSTICK: Sorry, Dipstick. How many times do I have to apologize? I misread the contract, okay. I really did think I was the opening act. I practiced my guitar for weeks and wrote that cute little ditty. Sung to the tune of “Run Around Sue”
Here’s my story, it’s sad, but true
About a girl that I once screwed
She took my love and then whored around
With every available sorority girl in town.
DIPSTICK: Yes, very entertaining. I also loved how you tried to insert yourself in every act.
LIPSTICK: What are you talking about? The Von Foxies wanted me to join them. They thought Lipstick Von Pussy was a great name. Plus, you said you would join them too of your name could be Dipstick Von Strap-on.
DIPSTICK: Yeah, that was until I learned I would have to strip. Although, it was hot enough that night to consider it.
LIPSTICK: You know my favorite band of the night was the Lipstick Conspiracy. Those hot femmes know how to par-tay!
DIPSTICK: I liked them too, but right before their set, someone backstage tried to put lipstick on me. I think it was a conspiracy to make me a femme!
LIPSTICK: Oh Pleeeze! It takes more than a little lipstick to make a femme. It takes foundation and eye liner and moisturizer and mascara and…..
DIPSTICK: Well all I can say, is thank Goddess we had some representation from the butches. Those adorable Latina butches from Los Angeles Butchlalis de Panochtitlan. They read from their play “The Barber of East LA.” I know where I want to get my hair cut from now on!
LIPSTICK: Could you ask them about waxing your legs while they’re at it. Those hairy monsters are getting out of control.
DIPSTICK: My favorite moment of the night, of course, was when those cute girls from Team Gina dedicated their amazing song “Butch/Femme” to me.
LIPSTICK: You’re such supahstar, Dip.
DIPSTICK: What do you mean, you weren’t even there—you were down at the bar. That was after they refused to let you change your name to Gina Va Jay Jay and join them on stage.
LIPSTICK: I watched it on TV and I needed something to cool my veins. That theater was hot and I was a sweaty mess!
DIPSTICK: Well, hot or not, we had a great time in Eugene. I hope we get invited back to the Out/Loud festival next year!