To Lipstick and Dipstick:
I would like to ask you both if you have any idea what it is like to
go to Iraq, leave your family and your life and hope and have faith
that you come home alive? It really disappointed me how you can give
out advice so off-the-cuff without any consideration of what it is
like. I happen to be in the military and am leaving for Iraq next
month. I will be gone for 15 months or until they see fit to let us
come home. It is a very serious issue when you have a partner and
for us, we love one another and will have been committed a whole
year the first week of next month (together for 3). I won't even be
able to celebrate it with her. When I read your response like " Oh
well if you end up in the hot tub with someone else..." or defending
the oil" How do you know what we do over there? By the news? If it
is your own opinion state it! That is bullshit! If you know how it
feels fine, but don't crack jokes or write to people giving them
advice if you have no idea or can stop one minute to empathize with
what emotions they are going through. I am a professional and have
large amounts of responsibility as so does she. We are not about to
go out and start whoring around simply because I have decided to
support my soldiers and sacrifice for my country.
I would give you both some advice, it is not personal, but please
consider the consequences of what you put in this magazine. There
are some that probably read this and take it and run with your
advice, me on the other-hand, I am older, more mature and absolutely hate drama and 99% of the time laugh at what you write.
I hope you both can understand what I am getting at.
This refers to Volume 17 Number 8 page 26 under Advice from Lipstick and Dipstick letter from cheating chicks and the response they had.
Dear Military Woman:
First of all, let me be the first to say that we do not take your service to our country lightly. You’re right, we have no experience with war and can’t imagine what is must be like for you. Not only to put yourself and your life at risk, but to have to do so in the closet in order to be there. Plus being away from your true love for that long and not being able to be open about that. We appreciate and respect what you do.
Second, the line about oil, that was not how I wrote the line. Our editor changed it.
But most importantly, the advice we gave was not to you and your partner, but to two women who have a history of cheating. I stand by my advice to have a serious discussion about putting the relationship on hold until she returns from service. I think it is good and sound advice in this situation. Obviously she was having doubts about being faithful, or she wouldn’t have written to us.
Now, as you know, Lipstick & Dipstick are not Dear Abby. We like to be racy and have fun. Lipstick’s comments about the hot tub were not meant to be taken literally. Surely, even the most naïve Curve reader will recognize that. We were having fun and trying to entertain.
But obviously we hit a sore spot with you. Sometimes humor does that.
Just so you know, no disrespect was intended to you or to any of our service members.
I read your column to my partner, as not only do I have to go to Iraq for as long as the Army determines, we have to live in different states. This is hard enough and the column did set me off. She agreed with my comments. I am not by any means naive about anything, I just take the military serious and don't want some of the readers to think that it is a bunch of laughs.
I happen to be a licensed clinical social worker and I know exactly what you and your counterpart were attempting to do. But you could have written it differently. I knew it was about cheating.
Like I said, I did not mean it to be personal, just be careful. Your column happens to be one of my favorite parts of the magazine. But, I wrote Flo and told her to send it to my partner as I should not get it in Iraq. I will pick it back up when I come home.
Thank you for writing back. When I get to retire and put the uniform down knowing I don't have to be put out due to the don't ask don't tell you will probably see me out there taking up the "family" causes. Just remember us over there each doing our job so we can have magazines like this and to be able to have the freedoms we do.
Thanks for returning my email.