Question:: Labor Day Career Advice

Dear Lipstick & Dipstick:
I been in school for nearly six years and it feels like forever. I already have a degree, but I’m back in school pursuing other interests. Utilizing my Public Affairs degree, how do I nail down something that will keep me happy while I figure out what I want to do?
Student of Life

Lipstick: Hell if I know. Why not peddle houses like many gay men I know? Or become a school teacher like every other lesbo in America? It’s no wonder they say that Generation Next is a liberal hotbed of wisdom and social justice and that being gay will be a no-brainer in future decades—they’ve all been taught by a bunch of homos. The irony. I doubt Dubya would be doling out any A’s to schools if he knew the truth: lunchtime looks more like a lesbian bar than a educators in a break room—the two hets at one table and the rest of the teachers huddled together telling queer jokes and betting on how many baby dykes are in their homeroom.

Dipstick: Public Affairs? Is that where you study the lives of famous people who cheat on their wives? No wonder you love school. I think with all the knowledge you’ve gained in your studies, you could probably write a book or two about those famous people and the women who love them. You may even get rich and famous yourself and have some affairs of your own. Now, that sounds like a fulfilling career! Seriously though, Dipstick has found that most people who’re truly happy are the ones with well-rounded lives. They enjoy not just their careers, but their home and family life. They have exciting hobbies like windsurfing and knitting to keep them stimulated. So, no matter what job you end in, make sure you keep the rest of your life interesting and you’ll be happy for many years.