Dear Lipstick & Dipstick:
I’m a straight man in a great long-term marriage. My wife and I recently started renting porn and all she ever wants to watch are lesbians. At first, it was a turn on, but now I’m concerned. Is she a lesbian?
Losing My Wife to Lesbians
Lipstick: Don’t worry mister man—it sounds like your wife is just embracing her sexuality. Halleluiah! I hope she tells all her friends and it catches on like a wildfire across California! No need to be threatened by her craving for cunnilingus, it doesn’t mean she’s looking for a little lesbian of her own. From what I hear, most men dream of having a wife like her, so instead of feeling shaky and insufficient, pay close attention, get on your knees and thank Sappho that your wife’s open enough to admit she’s turned on by a little girl-on-girl action. Lucky you.
Dipstick: And while you’re on your knees, why not practice some of those moves your porn star friends are so fond of. My guess is your lady is not so much longing for the lesbians, but the kind of pleasure they can provide. Shave your whiskers and get busy, boy!