I'm a Butt Watcher

Do you remember that ad campaign for Wheel of Fortune many years ago that said, "I'm a Wheel Watcher"? Well, I'm not a wheel watcher--although I don't mind watching Vanna White--but I am a professional butt watcher. I don't know what it is, but I constantly stare at people's butts. They don't have to be hot women either; it can be some dude in front of me on the train or a [gasp] a coworker. Some butts I watch longer than others. You know, like I usually check out the MILFs a little longer than I check out the Rastafarian guy in the produce section, but still, my eyes are always drawn to the drawers, no matter who it is. What's that about? I'm tempted to say I have a butt fetish. It must have something to do, in some primal way, with the way dogs sniff each other's butts. Thank GOD my fetish doesn't go quite that far. Am I alone here?

The picture was taken on a recent trip to the Vegas. These are my friend's butts, including my wife's (the cutest little bum) at the pool. I was in butt heaven...