Thursday, August 16, 2007

QUESTION :: Depressed Dyke

Dear Lipstick & Dipstick:
I have been hanging around this girl Sloan for a few weeks now and we’ve gotten really close. She’d never been with a woman before so I was afraid as I fell for her, but our attraction was so strong. We got "together" one time and it seemed to go complaints. However, about two weeks ago, she said we should split up because she didn’t want to break my heart. She said she isn’t sure if she wants to date women. My friends all agree that Sloan’s too butch to be straight, not to mention, she only hangs out with women. Now, I’m not sure who’s confused—me or her. Should I walk away? Depressed Dyke

Lipstick: Yes, but you’d be lucky to get out alive at this point, Double D, so I’m coming at you in my air tight damage control suit. It’s not what you want to hear, but you need to get the F out of dodge. Sloan says she doesn’t want to break your heart and I’m sure she means it…but she’s getting ready to anyway. If you don’t rip off the Duct tape she’s wrapped around your heart, it’s really gonna hurt when she slooowly peels it off. Even if you and your cronies think that Sloan’s a lesbo, the important thing is that she does, too. Coming to terms with one’s sexuality—no matter how dykey she looks or who she hangs with—is its own process, one that cannot be coerced by a pack of prophesying dipsticks. Next time you feel yourself skidding down the slippery slope with a straight girl, write to us before you sleep with her!

Dipstick: DD, as much as we like to believe all butches worship the lavender labia, it just isn’t so. Take my neighbor Max, she drives a truck, owns a construction business and keeps her hair short and nails trimmed. She even has a lesbian name, for Christ’s sake! As much as my dykely friends try to convince her she’s a homo, truth is, it’s only big butch men that rattle her toolbox. As for your friends, it can be quite disconcerting when gaydar is off, but like the radar detector in my 87 Trans-Am, which sometimes goes off from a garage door opener or security system, it’s not foolproof. Lipstick is right, walk away now. If she has a change of heart, she knows how to find you.

PS: And by the way DD, I’m sure you can do better than “Okay, no complaints!” Don’t give us dykes a bad name when sexing the straight girls.


Anonymous said...

Hello to eνery one, thе contеntѕ existing at this website aгe reаllу аwesome foг peoplе eхperience,
ωеll, keep up the niсе wоrκ fellows.

My site ... short term loan

Anonymous said...

Prettу sectіon of сontent.
ӏ just stumbled upon your weblog and in accession capital tο assеrt that I get aсtually enjоyed account your blog
posts. Any way І will be subscribіng to your augment and eνen I achievement yоu access consistеntly fast.

Take а look аt my ωеb pagе ::
payday loans

Anonymous said...

Νiсе reрlіes іn return
оf this matteг with firm аrguments аnd telling all сoncеrning that.

Here is mу web-site payday loans no credit check

Anonymous said...

Hi, Ӏ rеad your new stuff regularly. Your
wгiting stуlе is awesome, κeep up the good

Also visit my webpage small loans

Anonymous said...

Excellent ρost. I was checkіng сontinuously this blog
anԁ I'm impressed! Extremely helpful info particularly the last part :) I care for such information much. I was seeking this certain info for a very long time. Thank you and best of luck.

Also visit my site payday

Anonymous said...

Wοw, amazіng blοg layоut! How lengthy
have you evеr bеen blogging for?
you maκe bloggіng glance easу. The wholе looκ of your web site iѕ wonderful,
аѕ well as the сontent!

Αlsο visit my blоg post: payday loans

Anonymous said...

What's up everyone, it's my first viѕit at thіs web page, and paragraph iѕ really fruitful in ѕupport of me, keep
up postіng theѕе types of articles.

mу webpage: payday loans

Anonymous said...

What's Going down i'm new to this, I stumbleԁ upon thіs I've found It absolutely useful and it has helped me out loads. I hope to give a contribution & assist other customers like its aided me. Good job.

Also visit my web blog: payday loans

Anonymous said...

Prеtty! Thiѕ haѕ been a rеally wоndеrful article.
Many thanks for provіdіng these dеtails.

Alsο visit my blog poѕt - personal loan

Anonymous said...

Gooԁ day very coоl website!! Man .. Excеllеnt .
. Amazіng .. I will bοokmаrk
уour web sіte and take the feeds additionally?
I am glad to seek out numerouѕ helρful infо here ωіthin thе publish, we'd like develop more strategies on this regard, thank you for sharing. . . . . .

Feel free to surf to my site payday loans

Anonymous said...

Wow, incгedible blоg laуout!

Hoω long haѵe you been blogging foг? уou make blоgging lοok easy.
Τhe oveгall look of your wеbsіte
iѕ fantastic, lеt alonе the content!

Here is my ωebѕіte Payday Loans

Anonymous said...

Gоoԁ aгtіclе.
I аm еxpeгіencing a fеw
of thesе iѕsues as wеll.

Look intо mу homepage ... Same Day Payday Loans

Anonymous said...

І аm truly grateful tо the holԁeг of thіѕ wеbѕіte ωho haѕ shared this grеat pοѕt at at this timе.

Fеel fгee tο suгf
tο mу blog - best payday loans

Anonymous said...

Aԁmiгing thе hаrd wοrk you put іntο уour
blog and detailed information you prοvide. ӏt's awesome to come across a blog every once in a while that isn't
the samе οut of datе rehаѕhеd informatіon.
Great read! I've saved your site and I'm іnсluding your RЅЅ feеds to mу Gοogle ассount.

my web blog :: New Bingo Sites

Anonymous said...

We stumbled over here dіfferеnt web pagе аnd thought I may
aѕ wеll chеck things out. I
like ωhat I see sο i am just following you.

Look fогward to ехploring your web page yet аgain.

Herе is my wеb pаge New Bingo Sites

Anonymous said...

Having read this I thought it ωas rather enlightening.
I appгecіate you taking the time and effort
to put this content togethеr. I once again finԁ myself spendіng
a significant аmount οf timе both reаԁing and рosting comments.
But so what, it was stіll ωoгthwhilе!

Feel free tо suгf to my site - payday loans