Olympic Skater Johnny Weir

Olympic Coverage - Or Rather Uncoverage

I just peed my pants watching this wardrobe malfunction remix.

Dipstick and Her Rugby Days

My friend Polly just posted this photo on Facebook (She's the gorgeous one at the top right.) and did it bring back memories! This is my old college rugby team.

I wasn't a great player. As a matter of fact, I broke my nose in my very first rugby game. I ran into a player from my own team. In my defense, though, I showed up for one practice and they put me in the game the very next day. I had no idea what I was doing!

As the years went on, I got better. Especially after they took me out of the scrum. What the hell was I doing in the scrum? Look at me, I must have been all of 120 pounds then! I did score once or twice, on the field. I think I even scored a time or two off.

One thing we always said about our team, "We may not win the game, but we always win the party." If you've ever been to a rugby party, then you know what I'm talking about.

Missy Giove Busted

Missy Giove, the wild out-lesbian mountain biking legend, was busted this week and charged with conspiracy and possession of a controlled substance with intent to distribute. Apparently, she had 9 cell phones, 400 pounds of marijuana and $2 million in cash when cops busted her! Holy smokes! (Literally.) Read the Chicago Times article.

Missy was part of my first big break as a writer. She was my first cover feature. Back when Girlfriends Magazine was still afloat in 2003.

I didn't talk to her again until she landed in my inbox a couple years ago. She'd heard Dipstick and I were going to be hosting an event in Whistler for Winter Pride and wanted to grab a drink (we did the Girlfriends interview over the phone). I've included that photo from Winter Pride here, too. Too bad for Missy. We are all a byproduct of our thoughts and choices, eh?

This whole story is somewhat shocking to me (and sad); when we met her face-to-face at Winter Pride she was in a long term relationship with a really nice woman who had kids. She seemed all domesticated. Hope they all didn't get caught up in this, too.

Here is the 2003 article for those who are curious:

Coming Out, Going Pro

By Gina Daggett

The Indian poet Rumi once said, "Forget safety. Live where you fear to live. Destroy your reputation. Be notorious."

If there's a woman who has heeded his advice, it's Missy Giove. One of the most colorful competitors in professional sports, Giove's name may be a one you've not run across--yet. But if you're lucky, you've seen her flying down a rugged mountain, earning her nickname "The Missile." In her pursuit of greatness, Giove has snapped thirty-seven bones. Over her career, she's pedaled her way to three national championships and the most record wins in the nation for women's downhill.

Giove's not the only lesbian on the mountain biking circuit. But she's the only one who's out to the world. "You can't make people do something they don't want to do or don't have in their heart to do. Who knows why people don't come out? It could be for good reasons, but who am I to judge? I don't have their parents, their life or their job. If [coming out] is the least I can do while I'm here, then that's my purpose," says Giove.

When asked if being out of the closet has enhanced her performance and fearlessness, Giove says, "I think that anytime you are more in-tune with yourself and accept what's going on in your life, you're more focused and centered."

Many other professional out-athletes echo Giove's sentiments: coming out of the closet enhanced their performance as an athlete. Pat Griffin, author of Strong Women, Deep Closets, says that for many professional athletes, staying in the closet has become an "unplayable lie," a strategy of deception they're unwilling to live. Or, as lesbian columnist Deb Price puts it, "It's hard to swing a golf club in the closet."

Some professional athletes have chosen to come out of the closet; others have been thrown out, usually (as in Martina Navratilova's case) by bitter ex-lovers. Others are known widely to be gay, but prefer not to say. In the meantime, our sisters in the rainbow jerseys are, one-by-one, changing the face of women's sports.

Trajectory of the Missile

When I caught up with Missy Giove, she was at her coastal home in San Diego that she shares with Cynthia, her girlfriend of two and half years. Over the phone, we chatted about her injuries, her lack of inhibitions, her passions, and her life as a high-profile lesbian athlete — a title she wears with no excuses.

Giove began biking in New York City delivering Chinese food. At the time, she was a top-level ski racer who'd already won the Junior National Championships in 1990. She was always looking for ways to improve her skiing. Cross training and ultimately biking became an important component of her exercise routine.

Before too long, though, Giove realized she was no longer "mountain biking to ski, but instead, skiing to mountain bike." So she traded in her skis and poles for shocks and treaded tires.

Now, as Giove rides into a wooded area at 45 mph, she's very aware that she could be killed, or worse yet, get maimed. But she surrenders to the mountain by acknowledging that it's much bigger than she is. "The trick," Giove shares, "is to pick places where I'm going to back off — usually places you could die — and the places I'm going to give 110 percent."

In addition to biking regularly, Giove works out in the gym and sprinkles cardiovascular into eight-to-ten-hour daily workout schedule. This not only makes her a stronger mountain biker, but it helps her avoid injuries. Throughout her career, Giove has shattered her pelvis in six places, a biking injury from which doctors said she would never recover. Soon after, she broke both her legs. In 2001, she suffered a brain hemorrhage in another biking accident.

But these injuries won't slow Missy Giove down. She's still as extreme as ever, and attributes part of her mojo to Gonzo, the dried piranha she wears around her neck as a reminder to be aggressive. She also carries with her down the trail the ashes of deceased animals — and even some friends. On some days, in addition to tucking a small vial of ashes into her sports bra, she sprinkles them around the mountain so they're always with her.

Giove came out to a reporter in 1995, although she says she never intentionally dodged questions about her sexuality. "I choose to be myself every fucking day and people can either love me or hate me," says Giove. It's no surprise that Giove's candid personality has become one of her trademarks.

Even though the thirty-one-year-old has faced homophobia in her career as a professional mountain biker, she says the positive experiences have outnumbered the negative in spades. "There are always those instances where you're called the 'son of Satan' that scare you, but there are thousands and thousands that are positive," says Giove. "Like when people thank me for being a positive role model in their kid's life. There are going to be the occasional one or two [homophobic instances], but it's so minimal."

"It's an education process for people," says Giove about how she tries to combat homophobia. "So, I try to be really approachable." In fact, the biker gets more shocked responses to her rad clothes and multicolored hair than she does to her sexuality. "Seeing that gives me extra incentive to be even more out," laughs Giove.

For Giove, being an out athlete does have its price. "I make less money because I'm an out lesbian, but you know, hey, that's okay," says Giove. "I think it's important to represent who you are because it gives other people strength." And Giove trusts that if her example helps even one person that would be enough.

Sink or Swim: Diana Nyad

There's no doubt that the inner turmoil had a huge impact on my performance as an athlete," says Diana Nyad, the world-record swimmer and host of National Public Radio's "Savvy Traveler." Before she came out of the closet, Nyad immersed herself in the pool to escape. Yet once she found the courage at age twenty-one to come up for air and out to the world, she says, "It showed in my athletic career immediately. I shed so many layers of restraint and confusion."

But, says Nyad, this was her experience, and it wouldn't necessarily be the same for others. "It's easy for me to say this sitting here; I'm not the basketball player struggling to make a living," says Nyad. "But I truly believe in this day and age in America that if a young athlete is authentic, if she lives her life with honor, pride and confidence, then she will receive the respect she commands from her public."

Professional football player Alissa Wykes seconds Nyad's experience. "It takes a lot of wasted energy away to cover up stories, remembering who and what you told," says Wykes, who plays for the Philadelphia Liberty Belles. "You live in a paranoid world." The decision to come out was the best thing Wykes has done in her career. Aside from the mental and emotional benefits, she's met many wonderful people in organizations whose purpose is to back the LGBT community up. "I was secure in my little world, but I had no idea there was such a big network of support out there."

Many speculate on the root of homophobia in sports. Griffin thinks that if you go deep enough, it's tied up in sexism. "The lesbian label serves a social control function to make women self conscious about their athleticism," notes Griffin, who lectures widely about homophobia. "It's important to maintain a particular gender order in which men have privilege and women don't."

One of the biggest problems with homophobia in women's sports, Griffin contends, is that "it drives such a wedge between heterosexual women and lesbians." She cites the derogatory comments from tennis player Martina Hingis directed at Amelie Mauresmo, who is openly gay, in which Hingis said playing Amelie was "like playing a man." Similarly, because of Mauresmo's cut physique, unsubstantiated rumors of steroid use have leaked out of the locker room. Yet no one is talking about the chiseled muscles of the seemingly-straight Williams sisters.

What enflames the situation even more for these out lesbians, Griffin says, is that "women's professional sports are still marginal — and I think they don't want to take a stand on anything that's controversial that might affect their status of survival."

"I'd like to think that things are changing and that having out players isn't going to make a big difference," Griffin adds on an optimistic note. "You look at who is out in the WNBA and Sue Wicks is the only player who's ever come out. I mean, come on."

"Maybe [we've had some] progress, because certainly when Billie Jean and Martina came out, it was a giant scandal," says Griffin. She also cites as a positive development the fact that Mauresmo, Wykes, Giove, Wicks, and Karrie Webb, are all coming out while they're still actively playing. And even though a lot of athletes find support in unexpected places when they come out, Griffin believes, "we need a lot more heterosexual athletes to step up and be allies instead of giving private support."

"I've never heard an athlete who's come out say they regretted it," says Griffin. Yet, when it comes to team sports versus individual sports, it is an additional component for athletes to weigh; trying to balance what's right for them with what's in the team's best interest. "You do have a responsibility to other people," adds Griffin.

Going into Overtime

"There's not one champion I can think of that ended up being a champion by accident," says Giove. By refusing to play the unplayable lie, Giove wasn't going to leave anything to chance. But professional athletes have to choose their battles wisely, and until the sports climate warms up, many lesbians are trying to keep their eye on the ball instead of the door handle.

Published in Girlfriends, July 2003

Report from Beijing

My friend JP is in Beijing working at the Olympics. She sent me this report:

The city is much different then I expected and even better then I thought it would be. I will say all of it is better then Athens was in 04. I am able to read the Lipstick & Dipstick blog here, I had heard anything with blog would be blocked but you are readable in China! They are being more lenient on the online stuff since the international press complained.


Beijing isn’t what I expected. I expected people everywhere, crowds everywhere you walk and it isn’t that way. There are areas where things are more crowded but it’s so spread out, that it isn’t as bad as I thought it would be.

My first experience at Olympic Green was not the best. There were not any signs in English, we didn’t know what entry we were going through, what venues we would find and since there are 3-4 at each complex we really didn’t know where we were going. None of the volunteers seemed to speak English, the little they did, they just kept pointing us down the road, and we had no idea we had to walk the entire complex and cross a bridge and enter a new complex to get to the Water polo venue. Oh and it was pouring rain that day. But we did make it.

I think it’s amazing that so many countries travel to the games and support their country. My friend Roz and I went to Men’s Water Polo and saw Hungry vs Montenegro. We found ourselves sitting in the middle of a huge group of Hungarians, all with flags, painted faces, horns, signs, everything you could imagine. They all knew every player’s name, chanted, screamed, yelled, it was very entertaining.
I’ve also seen swimming, but it was just a qualifier. We sat so high, I couldn’t get any good pictures. The Cube is amazing from the outside and incredible to watch at night, with the lights. I’ve been lucky enough to be up there two nights in a row. The inside isn’t that impressive, there is a neat hall between the venue and the practice pool and you can stand up there and watch all the athletes warm up and practice. Each country has its own area with massage tables, tv’s, etc. The US is under the bridge so we can’t see them. I did get to see some swimmers out there talking to family members, none I recognized.

At night up at Olympic Green, the Cube is going with its constant change of colors and the Nest is across the way and it’s all a glow in red, with the torch and the moon it is an amazing site.

We also saw diving 3m springboard qualifier which was great. We had great seats, sat behind the judges in row two and were on tv the whole time. Had it been the actual event, you could have seen us.

We also got to catch the end of the Today show and met Meredith, Ann, Matt and Al.

Yesterday we went down to the Velodrome and it was so much fun. So far they win the award for the nicest venue and best staff. It’s a bit out of town and at the end of a subway stop so a bit of a ride to get there. The winner was this woman Rebecca Romero and she became the first British woman to win two medals in two different sports. In Athens she won a silver in rowing, she returned, switched sports and won the gold, it was awesome.

Anyway, the event was fun as every seat is great, every staff member said hello, welcome, have fun and when we left they all stood in a line and clapped and said thanks for coming. Anyway, the one thing I will say is Beijing and China is very proud to be hosting these games, they feel it is their welcome party to the world.

The people here are nice, I have not had any bad experiences or anything that I would consider to be any different then the US. They do have a few customs that are a bit different, like kids wear split pants and no diapers, so when you have to go, you just go. I joke that not only do they take the dogs out in the morning, they also take the kids. Then the squat toilet is a bit of a hassle, I’ve used them a couple times but you can usually find a western toilet in the hotels or major restaurants.

People’s fashion sense here is hysterical, the men will wear plaid shorts and striped shirts and then crocs. Crocs are big here and the women wear like nude nylons with sandals.

The food has been much better then I expected. We live in an area full of embassies, so there is a German place, a great Thai place, Italian, Chinese, Mexican, everything you could want, oh yes and a Irish pub downstairs. I have enjoyed the Chinese food, you just make sure you are going to a good place. It is usually family style, everyone orders a bunch of stuff, you use your chopsticks and eat, just pulling from the dishes, etc.

There is one great place that has some awesome tofu, it’s the Bellagio and every server has the same haircut. It’s all girls and it’s short and it’s a requirement to have the haircut to work there. It is considered one of the nicer places and the food there is good. Food is also more spicy here then I expected it to be, they like spice.

Photos by James from Miami

Tyson the Homosexual

I’m surprised this hasn’t been reported on by NBC during the Olympic coverage. It seems the American Family Association hates the word “gay” so much that whenever it appears in a news story, they change it “homosexual.”

Back when Tyson Gay won the Olympic trials at the end of June, The American Family Association’s website said “Tyson Homosexual” won the 100 meters in 9.68 seconds. According to The Advocate the news story read, “Wearing a royal blue uniform with red and white diagonal stripes across the front, along with matching shoes…Homosexual dominated the competition.”

Who are the real homosexuals in the Olympics? Here’s a list of out lesbian and bisexual athletes in the 2008 Beijing Games.

Golfing in Paradise

Pattycake and I went golfing yesterday at the most beautiful course I've ever played. It was in the British Columbia Cascade Mountains right outside Whistler in a town called Pemberton. I've been working from Whistler this week (I know, poor me) and thought I'd share these photos from yesterday. Although you can see snow here on the mountains, it was hotter than a mofo (38 celsius) on the valley floor. I played the best game of my life, too. Must have had something to do with the backdrop!

My Olympic Obsession

I admit it, I'm a total Olympic nerd. Since the opening ceremonies on Friday, I've been glued to the TV. 

I love it all. The swimming, the track, the basketball, the gymnastics, the stories of overcoming hardship, the medal ceremonies.  But mostly I love one woman: Dara Torres. 

At age 41 she is swimming faster then she ever has in her life, and faster than kids half her age. She's quite an inspiration to an aging jock like me.  Actually, I had a crush on Dara way back in 1984,  when I was on the swim team at Syracuse University and she was in her first Olympics. I hoped then (and still do) that she's a dyke. But, alas, I don't think it's so. 

My Olympic obsession didn't start with Dara. No, flashback to a 10-year-old Dipstick in 1976. Unlike most girls my age, who were tu-tuing around like Nadia Comaneci, young Dipstick wanted to be Bruce Jenner. 

The summer of '76 was filled with me throwing hand carved javelins, shotputting big round rocks and setting up chairs to hurdle over.  I even got my hair cut just like his.  

There's just something about the Olympics. Every time I go to confess my obsession to one of my friends, I get a confession back. How about you? You watching too? 

Baseball Fever

The Red Socks won the World Series. I've never been a huge baseball fan, but my whole family is from Boston, so I thought I'd tune into the game so we would have something to talk about over Thanksgiving. What I saw shocked and amazed me. I mean, I'd heard of switch hitters, but I thought it had something to do with batting. Not bisexuals. But apparently, baseball is full of guys who like other guys. And they had no qualms about showing it.

Here's just a few examples of what I saw:

As the pitcher prepared to throw the ball, the ump pulled on his crotch. As if on cue, the catcher crouched down behind home plate. The hunky umpire sidled up behind him and gently placed his hand on the catcher’s back. The ump wiggled in a little closer.

Sure, I’d heard about the sport. Making it to first base, hitting a home run. Striking out. I thought those were euphemisms. I began to see, this game really is about sex!

But it wasn't just the catcher and the ump. The pitcher was involved too. He was staring at the catcher’s crotch as the catcher was making some kind of obscene gesture in front of his privates. Was this man’s mother watching? Even the pitcher seemed disgusted, he kept shaking his head no, as if to say, save it for later, in the locker room. Finally the catcher stopped with the gestures and the pitcher nodded, good, lets get back to playing the game and threw out a pitch.

Who knew this was going on! When pro ball player Billy Bean came out, he said there were plenty of gay men playing baseball. Well, duh! That's pretty obvious! I just didn't know there were as many gay men playing baseball as there were lesbians playing softball.