Thursday, July 31, 2008

Vancouver Pride!

I'm so excited. The Minx is coming for a visit this weekend for her birthday and it just so happens to be Pride here in Vancouver, BC so, I'm double excited! You can check out for more info about all the exciting events. This will be the first Pride (no matter the city) in many years that I won't be working as Lipstick, either on stage or in CURVE's booth and I'm going to paint the town red! We have so many fun things planned--tomorrow night is the Chicks Ahoy boob (er, I mean booze) cruise, where they pack a huge yacht full of 400 lesbos and sail around English Bay for a couple hours. Saturday, we'll check out the festival and Sunday, we'll hit the Chicka - Hot House of Hotties (that's what they call it, no joke) party.

It's sure to be a good weekend, full of colorful stories and shenanagins, some of which I'll share here. Stay tuned for pictures and updates as we get our gay on.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Lindsay + Samantha = Uhaul

In light of this recent post, does Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson's time spent in NYC sway your vote?

You can read the whole article here, but People Magazine is reporting the new lezfest was: "Holding hands and gazing into each other eyes, the couple dined in a cozy, candlelit corner table at Gemma late Monday evening. The two looked quite happy, sitting next to each other as they chatted and laughed in a dark corner..."

Be sure to vote on the side bar and let your voice be heard!

* photo from People Magazine (Photo by: FREDDY BAEZ / RAMEY PHOTO)

Blasts from the Past

I am usually not one to sign up for these networking sites. There are a bevy of them: MySpace (although we do have an L & D space), LinkedIn and others. But at the urging of my brother, who, living in the bay area and in the creative technical industry, is the king networker, I decided to sign up for Facebook recently. And then, omg, the flood gates opened. I started hearing from people I haven't talked to in 20 years! Some even longer. One friend, Katie, who left my grade school when we were 10, is now living in London. Another, Jennie, went on to play collegiate golf after we lost touch in Junior High. The discoveries go on and on.

Something important to know about me is that keeping in touch with old friends from the past isn't new. In fact, some of my nearest and dearest--who I still talk to regularly--I met in kindergarten. Next month, I'm headed to Arizona (where I was raised) to attend the "Posse Reunion." What is the "Posse," you ask. Well, it was a self-proclaimed group senior chicks from my high school who'se shit didn't stink (or so we thought). I was one of the founding members. Admittedly, we were probably some of the girls many of you hated in high school. And some of us (not me, of course) may have deserved the disdain. Being the budding lesbian with a big heart I was--cheerleading and student council aside--I had friends in every circle: The theater peeps, the supersmart advanced placement science kids, even the wallflowers who no one really knew. That all said, I'm DYING to see the posse! While there were about 12 of us back in the day (we even had t-shirts made and wore them with pride), the group has dwindled a bit. I think there are only 8 or 9 partaking in the August shenanigans. But still, as I get older and meet more people, I realize how rare what we share is. We're all different, too (I'm token lezbot and the only one without kids) and those differences have only made us richer through the years.

So, my point is--before bouncing off on my posse tangent--is this: put yourself out there on Facebook and see who comes knocking on your door. Like me, you might not only reconnect with your past, but you might also be pleasantly surprised.

* the pic below is of the Posse on our senior trip to San Diego.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Lightin' it Up in Vancouver, BC

I've been spending some time up here in Vancouver, BC lately and have been enjoying the city immensely. Last week, I got to take in my first Symphony of Fire, which is a battle of the countries (different from the wars fought on on the ground). Instead of with guns and bombs, the countries battle it out in the skies over Vancouver with fireworks. It's a pyro-war. Who can put together the most amazing display, using the most innovative and cutting edge crack boom fireworks?

In tandem with the fire show, a symphony plays music, which is broadcast across the entire city on a rock station 101.1 FM, that goes along with the beautimus explosions.

Canada went first this year (see video below). USA went last night and China goes on this coming Wednesday. The finale takes place on Saturday, where a country is crowned winner. If you're in the area or in the Pacific Northwest, head north and come check out the shows! They're amazing! The whole city shuts down for them.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Is Lindsay Lohan Gay?

That was the cover of some trashy magazine I saw on the newsstands yesterday. Of course, it caught my eye. It's interesting what's going on here with Lindsey Lohan and this lezzie DJ Samantha Ronson. For months now, the two have been spotted holding hands and making out all over the world, yet no one has really made a big stink about it. And the love birds don't really seem to hiding it either, although her mother has adamantly said: "They're just friends."

These pics of them smoochin' were taken by paparazzi with big cameras while the lezzie lovefest was off shore on P Diddy's yacht.

Is the media being paid off by her family to bury the story? Do people think she's just a LUG and that it's just a phase? Is no one taking her seriously? Still, why isn't it a bigger story? Is it a positive sign that being gay isn't really breaking news anymore? (I'm hoping it's the latter.)

I don't know about you, but I don't hold hands with my "friends" on a regular basis or go sticking my tongue in "friends" mouths (well, unless it's Pride and I'm drinking tequila, then I might, but whatev...).

Tell us what you think on the sidebar poll!

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Turning 80

I'm off this morning for the East Coast. My Dad is turning 80 and we're having a big party for him. Since there are like 9,000 Belges, I'll be too busy socializing with the family to keep up on the blogging. Lipstick will fill the gap until I return at the end of the month. 

Have a great week everyone. I'm sure I'll have a story or two to tell when I return. 

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

My Big Confession

So, I've been in the closet about this for some time, but now I feel that it's important to come out about it. I've been ashamed of this for years and have only confided in a few close friends. Dipstick's known for some time now and has been a good friend, keeping her lips locked about it and I appreciate that. Thanks Dip. But now it's time to tell you all about something from my past:

I was the president of the Teenage Republicans club in high school and I like to shoot guns.

There, I've said it. It's out and I feel much better. Now we can make fun of me...

These pictures, taken last weekend at my parents ranch in Montana (, are evidence of me sliding back into my old behaviors (the only one of which I still struggle with). I'm a card carrying liberal now, but the damn NRA could use this as ammo, I suppose, for something. Maybe a counter attack against some lezzie anit-gun campaign. Surely a group of dykes has gotten together and tried to figure out a way to bring the NRA (and the second amendment) down.

While I fully appreciate all the cons of guns and the horrible things they can do, I still love the feel of it kicking me in the arm as I blow to bits a clay pigeon (see the above shot of me taking one my dad winged into the sky out with a 22 rifle). I have a pretty good eye. The one below is of Pattycake, who is from Vancouver, BC and had never shot a gun in her life. She was an eagle eye, too, and took out a number of clay pigeons. She's against guns (don't you have to be if you live in Canada?), but got that twinkle in her eye when my dad said, "Patty, do you want to shoot one?" After her fist shot, she never put the gun down; well, not until it was too late and too dark to shoot any more trap.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Portland Spelling Bee

My friend Moss, who hasn’t even lived in Portland a year, invited me to come to one of her favorite events: The Portland Spelling Bee. Who knew that right down the street from my house, spelling nerds gathered weekly to down honey margaritas and sweat over pizza and words like saturnine, opacity and empleomania.

Trace signed up for the competition with about 20 other brainiacts. Most of them went out in the first round. Trace was defeated by piteous. Syllogize, suasible, and metivistic brought down others. Adult spellers choked on chrysalis, phaeton, consanguinity and liniment, while somehow the perspicacious persevered, knocking down words like taciturn, plunderbund and adminicle.

Until it was down to two. Molly and Amanda. Amanda in her high heels, pink blouse and black skirt commanded a spelling presence unlike any I had ever seen. She confidently spit out letter after letter, amazing the rapted crowd, conquering words like tergiversate and terdiurnal. I never thought spelling could be so sexy.

But in the end, it was less dynamic Molly who pulled off the victory, going home with a Portland Spelling Bee Champion t-shirt and a hug from Grandfather.

Those of you looking for some fun on a Monday night, be sure to check out the Portland Spelling Bee every Monday at 7pm at Mississippi Pizza.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Chi-town Dykes Listen Up : Queer Porn-ucopia!

This is steaming hot! If you're into porn and you live in Chicago...

Sex writer Amy Andre and Early To Bed present Queer Porn-ucopia, a red-hot evening of the sexiest scenes of queer lust ever caught on film. They’ll be screening clips from independent dyke/queer made porn and having a blast at the Leather Archives! It should be a great event, so go check it out if you're in the Chicago area.

July 24th at 7pm (doors open)
Leather Archives & Museum
6418 N. Greenview Ave
Chicago, IL

Tickets are available at the door, or in advance at Early To Bed, 5232 N. Sheridan, for a suggested donation of $8 - $10, (no one turned away for lack of funds).

This event open to all adults 21 years & older.

Proceeds benefit the Leather Archives & Museum.

Monday, July 14, 2008

My Long-Lost Lesbian Cousin

This weekend I took a trip up to Seattle to connect with a cousin I hadn't seen in 30 years. Sandy is a few years older than me and as soon as she graduated high school, she took off for the West Coast. I never really knew her as a kid, although our families lived right around the corner from one another. I'd been hearing about my lesbian cousin for years. Back in the 70s, she changed her last name so that she would be recognizable as a lesbian. This was a person I had to get to know!

We met at the train station and headed over toward Key Arena where we were going to see the Seattle Storm play. I don't know if it's because we're family or because we're both dykes, or maybe a combination of both, but the conversation just flowed. 

I met her sweet partner, Nina and we quickly fell into Belge family humor, a combination of wit, word play, cynicism and vulgarity. We really did fall from the same tree. Being around them was very comfortable. After the game, we sat up late learning about the differences and similarities of our childhoods. 

Over breakfast--wonderful scones and a quiche made by Nina--we picked right up where we left off the night before. The visit ended too quickly, but I somehow feel that this blood family is about to become part of my chosen family. 

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Looking for Troubled Women

Happy Sunday bitches!

Are you having trouble in your life? Do you need Lipstick & Dipstick's help? Do you want to be on TV? If you answered yes to the above questions, we want to hear from you! We're working on a television project and are corralling ideas and women who need help. Please send your questions/problems to

There is no guarantee you'll be selected, but please submit your ideas if your life is in shambles. We can help! But you'll have to be willing to get help on television for all the world to see. Drop us a line.

Lip + Dip

Friday, July 11, 2008

A Day to Float

I went kayaking with my friend Maggie yesterday. By kayaking, I mean we took the boats out to a peaceful little lake, cracked a beer and caught up on our lives.
As we wind pushed us from one end of the lake to the other Mags and I drifted from topic to topic, two friends enjoying a beautiful summer day, watching the herons, osprey and swifts overhead.

It’s been a stressful few weeks and just getting out and away from it all for a few hours was the perfect remedy. So glad I took a day to just float.

Ashleigh at the Farm

Hey Oregonians, lucky you. Ashleigh Flynn will be performing again this year at Kruger's Farm. The show is next Thursday and it's part of their Farm Tunes: Rock the Crop series. We went last year and had such an amazing time. It's a gorgeous setting and you can bring your own picnic. If you're free next Thursday, head on out to Kruger's Farm and see your favorite lezzie folk singer.

Ashleigh Flynn Concert
Krugers Farm
Thursday, July 17
$10/per car
6:30 - 9:30pm
Food, beer and wine for sale

* pic is of me and my dear friend Gwen, who was very pregnant here and lives in Austin, at her show last summer.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

George W Bush's Resume

Take a looksy at our President's CV. It's classic.

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20520


Law Enforcement:

I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.

I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.


I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.

I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.

With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.


I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.

I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.

With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President of the United States, after losing by over 500,000 votes.


I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.

I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.

I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.

I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.

I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues.

I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleezza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.

I am the all- time U.S and world record -holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.

My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. history, Enron.

My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.

I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history. I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.

I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.

I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

I appointed more convicted criminals to my administration than any President in U.S. history

I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States Government.

I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.

I am the first President in U.S history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.

I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.

I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.

I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US election).

I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.

I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period.

After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.

I garnered the most sympathy ever for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind.

I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. Citizens and the world community.

I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families in wartime.

In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.

I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.

I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD.

I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.


All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.

All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review. I specified that my sealed documents will not be available for 50 years.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Dipstick's Blue Balls

It's hard work, but someone has to do it...being lesbian advice columnists, that is. Dipstick and I just came off a whirlwind photo shoot with our favorite CURVE photographer, the infamous Maggie Parker. What a day we had with Mags, scheming up six different shoots throughout downtown Portland. You can see a couple of the shots shown here, including my personal favorite: "All I Want for Christmas is My Two Blue Balls." Dipstick, a genuine class clown, is sporting some serious blue balls in this Holiday Issue photo. The other pic is just a screw off with us donning Christmas lights up our noses. Good times.

Mags has been with us since the beginning, way before CURVE ever picked us up or before you ever knew who we were. Way before we even dreamed of writing a book. Now we're still together, dreaming of bigger and better things, achieving all of our goals and getting that damn TV show off the ground. Stay tuned for more on that.... In the meantime, enjoy the photos.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Independence Day!

You remember Minx, right? One of Lipstick's best friends. Well, today, she took a very brave step--something that, to her, represented Independence (just like Dip's bike years ago): The bitch got her nose pierced.

Okay, let me back up. In case you don't know, you need to understand who Minx is... She is a 5' 10" minx with legs that go on forever. She's a former model. A former equestrian. A marathon shopper. A fashion extraordinaire. A shoe whore. A head turner. A heart breaker. A Legs Malone (did that one whip right past you?). A Playboy Bunny (see photos of her with Hugh Hefner.). A Doll...

Anyway, my point is...she is the last person you'd think would want to go get her beautiful nose pierced. But there she was today in the infamous chair, tilted backwards, her eyes watering, her nose in position--rearing to go!

God bless that bitch. Pattycake and I stood by watching, wavering between cheers and gasps, doing our best to hold her hand and keep the tears back. But that beautiful bitch held her own and within minutes, the piercing artist--Blue (everything in her room was blue)--had the deed done, adorning her model face with a diamond stud. See photos below.

We love you Minx. Way to go! Congrats on spreading your gazelle legs (I mean nostrils)!

Friday, July 4, 2008

Independence Day

I started out my July 4th with a 22-mile bike ride along the beautiful Columbia River. Bicycling for me has always represented independence. I clearly remember the summer I practiced and practiced until I shed my training wheels and was off racing around the neighborhood with the other kids. My world opened up. The park, Shop City and corner store were now all mine to explore. I remember the days when my bike was my best friend, giving me distance from my hectic family life.

My bicycle was my main form of transportation for years. I didn’t get my drivers license until I was 23. When I got my first car, a 1979 Saab that I bought for $150, I always made sure my bike was in the trunk in case it broke down, which it did. I would just pull my bike out and ride home.

To this day, a nice ride is the best way I know to clear my head. And I love knowing that no matter what, if I needed to, the power of my legs and two wheels can get me almost anywhere. That’s independence.