Friday, February 27, 2009

The Lipstick & Dipstick Show: Episode 2

Our second webisode is up on Curve Magazine' website. Be sure to check it out and leave a comment.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Thanks SIUE!

We just got home from a whirlwind trip to the midwest. Earlier this week, we spoke to a group of students on the campus of Southern Illinois University in Edwardsville, Ill. Dipstick and I flew into St. Louis (we saw the arch from far away as we drove across the Missouri River) and wished we'd padded the trip with more time to spend in Missoura (as they say it).

What a warm welcome we got from the campus GSA. We so enjoyed meeting all of them! A big warm thank you to Liz (aka Queen Vagina), the president of the GSA and one of our panel guests, JP, Dani (who showed us around Cougar-ville), Seth, Shane, Latta, Maggie, Andrew (also on the panel), Lisa and Patti at Trash (a lezzie-owned trendy vintage shop on Main Street in Edwardsville), Lenore (who was the studly physics professor who brought us in), Cathy (aka Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll guru on our panel) and Nicole (an amazing ally/professor who also joined us on stage). There were many others, too (sorry I didn't name you!), so thanks to all who came to our luncheon and the evening event at the Lovejoy Auditoriumm, gay and straight alike. We had a blast!

As fate would have it, our speaking agent, Gail Hand with Insightful Women Speakers, was also on hand (so to speak). She's done a great job for Lipstick & Dipstick and we give her props!

Gail and I were on the same flight cross country, too, so it was great to catch up with her. (Gail, how about our next gig is at the University of Hawaii?)

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Who Can Resist? Pictures of Puppies

This weekend I took a trip up into Washington to visit our friend whose dog just had 10 puppies. Actually these puppies are nieces and nephews to our 4-year old Rocky.

Everyone said if Tiger and I even went to visit, we were going to come home with one. As cute as they are, we really are still getting over losing Juneau (who would have been 14 on Saturday) and enjoying being a one-dog home for now.

But damn, they sure are cute, aren't they? And they just have that sweet puppy breath.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Come See Us In Illinois!

As you read this, Dipstick and I are on a plane aimed for the Great Lakes.
We're headed to Edwardsville, hailed as the "third oldest city in Illinois," also known for its awesome university Southern Illinois University. The Safe Zone group--in conjunction with SIUE's GSA (Gay/Straight Alliance)--is flying us in to speak to students and faculty on Tuesday night. If you're in the area, come and check out the event. It's open to the public.

Tallyho and see you in Illi!

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Get Heart Smart

A friend of mine recently sent me this (touch it Jenny!) and I wanted to pass it along here. It's a woman describing a heart attack she had and it's so important to be informed. Here it is:

I was aware that female heart attacks are different, but this is the best description I've ever read. Women and heart attacks (Myocardial infarction). Did you know that women rarely have the same dramatic symptoms that men have when experiencing heart attack? You know, the sudden stabbing pain in the chest, the cold sweat, grabbing the chest & dropping to the floor that we see in the movies.

Here is the story of one woman's experience with a heart attack:

'I had a heart attack at about 10:30 PM with NO prior exertion, NO prior emotional trauma that one would suspect might have brought it on. I was sitting all snugly & warm on a cold evening, with my purring cat in my lap, reading an interesting story my friend had sent me, and actually thinking, 'A-A-h, this is the life, all cozy and warm in my soft, cushy Lazy Boy with my feet propped up.

A moment later, I felt that awful sensation of indigestion, when you've been in a hurry and grabbed a bite of sandwich and washed it down with a dash of water, and that hurried bite seems to feel like you've swallowed a golf ball going down the esophagus in slow motion and it is most uncomfortable. You realize you shouldn't have gulped it down so fast and needed to chew it more thoroughly and this time drink a glass of water to hasten its progress down to the stomach. This was my initial sensation---the only trouble was that I hadn't taken a bite of anything since about 5:00 p.m.

After it seemed to subside, the next sensation was like little squeezing motions that seemed to be racing up my SPINE (hind-sight, it was probably my aorta spasms), gaining speed as they continued racing up and under my sternum (breast bone, where one presses rhythmically when ministering CPR).

This fascinating process continued on into my throat and branched out into both jaws. 'AHA!! NOW I stopped puzzling about what was happening -- we all have read and/or heard about pain in the jaws being one of the signals of an MI happening, haven't we? I said aloud to myself and the cat, Dear God, I think I'm having a heart attack!

I lowered the foot rest dumping the cat from my lap, started to take a step and fell on the floor instead. I thought to myself, If this is a heart attack, I shouldn't be walking into the next room where the phone is or anywhere else ... but, on the other hand, if I don't, nobody will know that I need help, and if I wait any longer I may not be able to get up in a moment.

I pulled myself up with the arms of the chair, walked slowly into the next room and dialed the Paramedics ... I told her I thought I was having a heart attack due to the pressure building under the sternum and radiating into my jaws. I didn't feel hysterical or afraid, just stating the facts.
She said she was sending the Paramedics over immediately, asked if the front door was near to me, and if so, to un-bolt the door and then lie down on the floor where they could see me when they came in.

I unlocked the door and then laid down on the floor as instructed and lost consciousness, as I don't remember the medics coming in, their examination, lifting me onto a gurney or getting me into their ambulance, or hearing the call they made to St. Jude ER on the way, but I did briefly awaken when we arrived and saw that the radiologist was already there in his surgical blues and cap, helping the medics pull my stretcher out of the ambulance. He was bending over me asking questions (probably something like 'Have you taken any medications?') but I couldn't make my mind interpret what he was saying, or form an answer, and nodded off again, not waking up until the Cardiologist and partner had already threaded the teeny angiogram balloon up my femoral artery into the aorta and into my heart where they installed 2 side by side stints to hold open my right coronary artery.

'I know it sounds like all my thinking and actions at home must have taken at least 20-30 minutes before calling the paramedics, but actually it took perhaps 4-5 minutes before the call, and both the fire station and St. Jude are only minutes away from my home, and my Cardiologist was already to go to the OR in his scrubs and get going on restarting my heart (which had stopped somewhere between my arrival and the procedure) and installing the stints.
'Why have I written all of this to you with so much detail? Because I want all of you who are so important in my life to know what I learned first hand.'

1. Be aware that something very different is happening in your body not the usual men's symptoms but inexplicable things happening (until my sternum and jaws got into the act). It is said that many more women than men die of their first (and last) MI because they didn't know they were having one and commonly mistake it as indigestion, take some Maalox or other anti-heartburn preparation and go to bed, hoping they'll feel better in the morning when they wake up ... which doesn't happen. My female friends, your symptoms might not be exactly like mine, so I advise you to call the Paramedics if ANYTHING is unpleasantly happening that you've not felt before.

It is better to have a 'false alarm' visitation than to risk your life guessing what it might be!

2. Note that I said 'Call the Paramedics.' And if you can, take an aspirin. Ladies, TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE! Do NOT try to drive yourself to the ER - you are a hazard to others on the road.
Do NOT have your panicked husband who will be speeding and looking anxiously at what's happening with you instead of the road.

Do NOT call your doctor -- he doesn't know where you live and if it's at night you won't reach him anyway, and if it's daytime, his assistants (or answering service) will tell you to call the Paramedics. He doesn't carry the equipment in his car that you need to be saved! The paramedics do, principally OXYGEN that you need ASAP. Your Dr.
will be notified later.

3. Don't assume it couldn't be a heart attack because you have a normal cholesterol count. Research has discovered that a cholesterol elevated reading is rarely the cause of an MI (unless it's unbelievably high and/or accompanied by high blood pressure). MIs are usually caused by long-term stress and inflammation in the body, w hich dumps all sorts of deadly hormones into your system to sludge things up in there. Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. Let's be careful and be aware. The more we know the better chance we could survive.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Illinois Here We Come!

Dipstick and I are headed to the Midwest on Monday to have a gay old time at Southern Illinois University in Edwardsville, Ill.

We will be hosting the "Lipstick & Dipstick Talk Show" on their campus on Tuesday night. If you're in the Illinois area, come check us out. It's open to the public. The topic is Campus Queer :: Coming Out as an LGBT or an Ally

Illinois University Edwardsville
Lovejoy Library, Abbott Auditorium
7:30 pm
For more info, go HERE.

Thursday, February 19, 2009


The other day a columnist for our local paper told the story of a high school girls basketball team that not only lost every game, often by more than 30 points, but hardly had any support from fans or family. The school is in a low income neighborhood and there were many obstacles parents had to overcome to be able to make it to a game. Some of the girls even had to quit the team to get jobs. 

When I heard about the story, I wanted to go and watch the Roosevelt Girls final game and support them. I was bummed when I learned it was taking place at the same time as a family birthday celebration that I couldn't get out of.  

I wasn't able to be there, but 1600 other people crowded into the high school gym to cheer for the Roosevelt Roughriders. 

I was inspired this morning  to learn not just that people came to support a disadvantaged girl's athletic team, but that the words of one writer could move them to do so.

Check it out:

Roosevelt girls triumph

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Bitch and Friends

My long lost pal Trace recently moved to Portland and we've had a blast reconnecting. This past weekend we went to see Bitch in concert. 

Bitch is this wildly creative musician/songwriter who also happens to be partners with Daniela Sea (Max from The L Word.) 

All the uber-cool and trendy dykes crowded into a small and sweaty pizza parlor to appreciate Bitch's quirky genius. 

Trace and I just chilled on the couch, taking the whole scene in. 

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

E. Lynn Harris

Last night my favorite gay boyfriend and I went to see New York Times best selling author E. Lynn Harris at Powell's Books.  I was expecting Harris to read from his new book, Basketball Jones, about a closeted NBA player. Instead, Harris announced that he didn't read from his books at stores like that because there were often children wandering around and his books were too salty. I was disappointed at first, but as he started talking, I realized it was a gift to hear a very successful writer talk about his life and his craft. I was inspired. 

He described one of his first readings, which was at a gay bookstore. He had picked a juicy section to read for that crowd. But just as he was about to read, he noticed his mom was in the audience. He had to quick pick a new section to read.

In another tale, he spoke about meeting one of his favorite actresses after a Broadway play. She came out the stage door and he was there waiting, along with a bunch of other people.  After talking with everyone except Harris, and signing everyone's autograph's, she quickly hurried down the street. He stood there dejected.  

She was halfway down the block, when she turned on her heels, came back and asked him, "Were you waiting for me?"  He said he never forgot that moment and has since made sure he always makes time to talk to fans. 

With those two stories in mind, I approached him at the table where he was signing books and told him how I too struggled to find some appropriate content to read when my parents came to our book reading. (We read from the section on "Chores" and even had to edit that somewhat!) 

E. Lynn Harris held my hand and looked me in the eye while asking about my book. He smiled when I told him the name and said he's often been told he needs to have a lesbian character in his books. We chatted about Alyson Books and its new editor Don Weise. 

I said I wished I had brought a copy of our book for him. "No," he said, "I'm going to go online and buy it."  Wow, what a great ending to a great night. 

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Our Latest Column in Curve

Here is a sneak peek of what is to come next month in Curve! (Click on page to enlarge)

Friday, February 13, 2009

Quick & Easy Valentine's

Every year for Valentine's Day, for as long as I can remember, I've gotten a very special gift. It's this tiny box of chocolates, from my Dad.  Even though this month he's spent more days in the hospital than he's been out, he somehow found the time and energy to go buy up the Whitman Sampler's from Rite Aid, wrap them up in brown paper, address them and take them to the post office. 

It's a tiny gift, very inexpensive, yet packed with meaning and sentiment. I love the image of my 80 year old Dad, stepping up to the clerk at the post office with his 20-odd mini-packages (one for each child, spouse and grandchild) paying more for postage than he did for the gift. And I love more than anything, receiving this package in the mail each year.

My point is, that you don't have to spend a lot of money to have a big impact on Valentine's Day. Money is tight for everyone this year. Don't despair, Dipstick has you covered with these five romantic ways to woo your lady without a lot of cash.

1. Make her a romantic mixed CD of all the sexy songs that remind you of her. 

2. Don't go as cheap as the Whitman Sampler, but do visit a specialty chocolate store and pick out four designer chocolates and present her with a tiny box, all wrapped up nice.

3. Write her a love poem. Or sing her a love song. Don't have one of your own? Feel free to borrow, but don't take credit for someone else's work.

4. Who needs to sit elbow to elbow with crowds of straight people on Valentine's Day. Instead, stay in and make her a delicious meal at home. Candlelight, wine, sensuous appetizers are a must. Steak or lobster tails are always a good choice. 

5. Most of all, tell her and show her you love her in all the little ways that matter the most anyway. 

Dead Relatives Can See You Humping

I've recently discovered a great company called Cerebral Itch that has some hilariously fantastic stuff. They sell greeting cards (funny, dirty ones!), t-shirts, e-cards and funny wine label covers, including on that wraps around your real label that says "This Party Better Be Worth the Gas it Took to Get Here."
I've included some of my favorites here. They've also got a new t-shirt mocking the Life is Good line. It's called "Life is Crap." (See photo) I also like the one that says simply "I could still do porn." You can see the t-shirts here.
Check them out! They have some great Valentines cards, too, if you're in need asap.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Watch This Video!

Peeps, check this out.

"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

Have you heard that Ken Starr -- and the Prop 8 Legal Defense Fund -- filed legal briefs defending the constitutionality of Prop 8 and attempting to forcibly divorce 18,000 same-sex couples that were married in California last year? The Supreme Court will hear oral arguments in this case on March 5, 2009, with a decision expected within the next 90 days.

The Courage Campaign has created a video called "Fidelity," with the permission of musician Regina Spektor, that puts a face to those 18,000 couples and all loving, committed couples seeking full equality under the law.

Please watch this heartbreaking video now. If you have the same reaction that I did, you can help spread the word by sharing it with your friends ASAP -- before the Valentine's Day deadline.

The more people who see this video, the more people will understand the pain caused by Prop 8 and Ken Starr's shameful legal proceeding.

After you watch the video, please join me and over 150,000 people who have signed a letter to the state Supreme Court, asking them to invalidate Prop 8 and reject Starr's case.

Check out Boon!

I love Facebook. I can't believe the people I've been able to reconnect with. It simply amazes me nearly each day. It's such cross section of our lives, huh? I've got friends from pre-school, grade school, high school, college and from my grown-up life all in one nicely organized pool on my computer. I can see how my friends kids are growing and find out what's knew with my exes, all with one stop on the internet.

One of my my recent Facebook joys has been to reconnect with an old friend I met back in high school. Come to find out she and her wife (she came out years ago, too!) just bought and renovated a boutique hotel in California Wine Country. "Boon" (named after their dog) is a resort and spa in Sonoma on the Russian River. Be sure to check it out. It's super modern and has amazing spa offerings. Next time you're in wine country, swing by and visit Boon. Say hello to Crista and her wife, and support our sisters!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Final WinterPRIDE Recap!

What a week we had up in Whistler! Saturday night proved to be the highlight for Lipstick (probably because I just got to play and didn't have to work!). We had a fabulous friend in town--Jenny (pictured to the right; she's beautiful, fabulous and SINGLE, believe it or not!)--and hit the champagne bar at the Bearfoot Bistro for bubbles and oysters before the girl party. Of course the renowned restaurant was packed with gay men, sitting in huge parties all over the room.

Our intimate pre-party was the perfect kickoff. After a medley of oysters, paired with a delicious bottle of Charles Heidsieck--and a tremendous amount of laughter--we headed into the village in search of the lezzies. We found the Shred Betty Bash right on the edge of the mountain, literally in the building where the gondolas are housed. The girls who put on the Pampered Pussy Party (Mandy and Leigh of Flygirls) threw this party, too, and did a great job with the venue. Beyond the sea of women gyrating on the dance floor, there were wild, Yeti-looking (albeit hot Yetis) women dancing with colorful hoolahoops on platforms (see video).

We saw a lot of familiar faces at the party and it was a really good time. We danced the night away and, again, had way too many laughs. Lesbians are such a funny bunch to watch and mingle with--never a lack of fodder for a hungry advice columnist/fiction writer.

Thanks WinterPRIDE for having us back! Be sure to look for our WinterPRIDE vlog (posted on in March) recapping our whole week in video. There will also be a new webisode posted on of Lipstick & Dipstick helping a couple who needed some advice in Whistler ext week, too, so stay tuned in!

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Women's World Cup Bobsled

One day of skiing was enough for me in Whistler. But as you probably know, Vancouver and Whistler are going to be the site of the 2010 Winter Olympics. If you know anything about Dipstick by now, you know she's a sucker for women athletes. I couldn't wait to head over and watch the best bobsleigh athletes in the world zip down the icy shute. Especially after meeting this cute Switzerland bobby.

The sleds go really fast: 140 km per hour. So it was a miracle that I snapped this photo of a sled as it reached the final curve before the finish line. 

Watching at the bottom was fun, but the real exciting part was when I made the long hike up to the top of the bobsled course, where the athletes were preparing to start their races.

There's just something about a female athlete, in tip-top shape, completely in her element, so fully in her body, confident and in the moment that totally turns me on. And even more so when it involves teamwork. 

It's all about power and concentration and skill and just being so completely engrossed in that moment. Watch these Canadian athletes start their race and see if you can relate.  

I doubt I'll make it to the Winter Olympics, but seeing these races was the next best thing. The best $5 I ever spent.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Whistler Saturday Recap

Dipstick pushed off this morning for home and I'm still up here in the beautiful Canadian Rockies. Today, I finally hit the slopes. It was a bit of a scene getting up this morning after the Pampered Pussy party last night. The sexy party went into the wee hours (you'll have to wait for more about that on our vlog on Curve's website).

Tonight is the big girl party--Shred Betty Bash. Surely there will be some great pics from our night of debauchery. Stay tuned....

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Dipstick Hits the Slopes

Yesterday I went skiing for the first time since high school. Lipstick quipped yesterday about me being in urgent care and I have to admit, the thought did cross my mind a few times, especially walking around Whistler Village and seeing people hobbling along on crutches or with their arms in slings. It HAD been a long time since I strapped on skis.

But with only a tiny bit of trepidation, I met up with Ken, my ski instructor for the day. He came highly recommended, and so I knew I was in good hands. After a quick review of the snow plow and a few turning tips on turning, we were off! I was amazed at how quickly it all came back to me. And at how much fun it was. To be out on the mountain, on a beautiful day, zipping down the slopes. Okay, maybe zipping is a bit of an exaggeration, but I was pretty pleased that I didn't fall once.

That is until the end of the day, on my last run, where I fell twice. Either I got too cocky, or I was just tired. Either way, I didn't end up in urgent care and the whole day was a blast. Especially riding up to the top of the mountain and seeing where the Olympic runs will happen in 2010.

Today Lipstick and I are going to cram into the new Peak to Peak gondola with a bunch of drag queens and Mr. Gay World contestants. That should be a lot of fun! And later, I understand there's a lesbian couple who needs some relationship advice from Lipstick & Dipstick. Stay tuned....

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Whistler Fun I

Dip and I have been whooping it up in Whistler this week and having a fabulous time at WinterPRIDE. Last night, we hosted Gay Retro Bingo + Games night. About 100 people cameo out for the event and we had a blast! As promised, I wore an afro and rollerskates. Dip was a butch version of Harvey Milk meets David Cassidy.

Today, Dipstick is hitting the slopes on her first ski lesson. God help her. It's a gorgeous day here in Whistler and there is still time to hop in your car or book a flight to get here for this weekend, when we'll take it up a notch higher at the Pampered Pussy party.

I shot a little video of Dipstick yesterday playing in a huge pile of snow at the center of the Village. She will embed it here (if she's not at the Urgent Care center) after her day on the slopes.


Monday, February 2, 2009

See You in the Snow!

Dipstick and I are headed to Whistler today for another year of fun at WinterPRIDE. If you'd like to join us (you'll miss out if not), come on up the mountain! The details of our events are below. We hope to see you on the slopes, too. Dipstick will be taking her very first ski lesson and I hope to be nearby with a camera.

Retro Queer Bingo + Games Party
Tuesday, February 3rd, 2009
8pm -10pm
Telus Conference Center
(Rumor has it Dipstick will be posing at Harvey Milk and Lip will have an afro and be on rollerskates)

Pampered Pussy Party
Friday, February 6, 2009
9pm -2am
Telus Conference Center
(Rumor has it there may be dirty games and a vibrating saddle)