A Mouse in the House

I used to have this awesome cat named Chicken. She was kind of clumsy and sort of lazy, but that damn cat was such a hunter. Every Spring she'd bring moles, voles, mice and birds into the house, let them loose and chase them around for a few hours. She was a great cat.

I now have a new cat. Herbie. Herbie also loves to bring mice into the house. Only thing is, she lets them go, they run behind a bookcase or the stove and then she forgets about them.

I knew there was a mouse in the house when I got up Friday morning because Herbie was camped out in front of the bookcase. I know she wasn't contemplating which of Tiger's collection of Stephanie Meyer's books to read next. She was waiting. Waiting for the vermin to reappear. Problem is, vermin is patient. And Herbie is not. Soon she was curled up and sleeping on her favorite green chair.

The mouse must have tried to make it's escape some time on Saturday because I heard the scramble of cat paws, followed by the scramble of dog paws on the floor. By the time I got to the living room, both the dog and the cat were sitting and staring at the book case. I moved it, but no mouse showed it's face.

Yesterday I was working out on my Nordic track when I saw a tiny flash out of the corner of my eye that let me know, indeed, the mouse was still lurking in the living room. At least it hadn't made it's way to the kitchen.

After I finished working out, I noticed the dog was sitting and staring up at the window. Somehow the mouse had snuck out from behind the bookcase and crawled up the curtain. It was just hanging out there, near the top. The cat was no where to be seen.

So, I grabbed an old rag, scooped the mouse up in it and brought it outside. Is it wrong that I deposited in front of my neighbor's house? It looked stunned for a moment and then it took off across the lawn. Herbie, of course, has forgotten all about it.

This Will Remind You There is Good In the World

My mom sent this to me and it totally made my day--it washed away all the stress and negativity the sometimes seeps into daily life.

Happy Earth Day!

Rear Gear for your animals

Everyone knows lesbians are all about their animals so this is right up your alley (or rather, your dog's "alley").

If you or your dog or cat is modest, they've got you covered...

Check out:

Rear Gear: "No More Mr. Brown Eye"

Hilarious! And apparently, for real!



Myself, I prefer the daisy bum for our dog, Harvey (although he thinks it's the evergreen pine--shhhh).

Juneau Singing

Still thinking about Juneau today. I forgot to mention yesterday what a good singer she was. Here she is teaching her brother Rocky the words to her favorite song.

Still Miss the Girl

It's been a year since we said goodbye to our sweet old dog. Juneau was an old soul. She was never one to let her guard down and took her role as guardian and protector seriously.

She was quite a beauty in her day. And she knew it. She loved to pose for photos. This is the shot she sat for that won us the grand prize in the Oregon Human Society photo contest. When she got older and her hair began to fall out, she never really got that her youthful beauty had left her. She pranced around the park like she was the prettiest thing anyone had ever seen.

She was stoic and could be quite grouchy. She never liked to cuddle and tolerated pets for only so long. Yet, she loved to be the center of attention. Whenever we would have a party, she would park her self in the middle of the dining room floor, sprawl out and fall asleep.

Her favorite places were Mt. Hood and Yachats, Oregon. A true snow dog, she would get a dance in her step whenever there were flurries in the air.

She loved children and whenever she saw a baby carriage she would make a beeline for it. Often scaring the wits out of parents who only saw a big scary dog barreling toward their child. Any chance she got to lick a child or a man's beard, she would take.

Yes, she had her quirks and yes we spoiled her. From the day we brought her home, she had to have her head out the window while driving, or she would howl and howl. This made for some cold winter driving. But that damn dog won out most of the time.

She drove me crazy and I miss her everyday.

Coyote Escapes Death

This is such a crazy story and if there weren't photos to prove it, I'd think it was a fish story. Here is the story (not in my words):

Meet the wiliest of all coyotes: Hit by a car at 75mph, embedded in the fender, rode for 600 miles - and SURVIVED!

When a brother and sister struck a coyote at 75mph they assumed they had killed the animal and drove on. They didn't realize this was the toughest creature ever to survive a hit-and-run. Eight hours, two fuel stops, and 600 miles later they found the wild animal embedded in their front fender - and very much alive.

Daniel and Tevyn East were driving at night along Interstate 80 near the Nevada-Utah border when they noticed a pack of coyotes near the roadside on October 12. When one of the animals ran in front of the car, the impact sounded fatal so the siblings thought there no point in stopping.

'Right off the bat, we knew it was bad,' Daniel explained. 'We thought the story was over.' After the incident around 1am, they continued their 600 mile drive to North San Juan - even stopping for fuel at least twice. But it was only when they finally reached their destination at 9am did they take time to examine what damage they may have sustained.

At first it looked as though it was going to be quite gruesome. '[Daniel] saw fur and the body inside the grill,' Tevyn East said. 'I was trying to keep some distance. Our assumption was it was part of the coyote - it didn't register it was the whole animal.' Daniel East got a broom to try and pry the remains out of the bumper and got the shock of his life. 'It flinched,' Tevyn East said. 'It was a huge surprise - he got a little freaked out.'

UPDATE: I don't know any updates of the survivor, but I trust he was just fine.

Amazing Video: Elephant Birth

This is such an awesome video, taken at the Elephant Safari Park + Lodge in Bali, of a female elephant giving birth to a baby. The footage is pretty graphic, so head's up. If you're like me, however, and are constantly sucked into Animal Planet and National Geographic, you'll love this video:

The Birds & The Bees

I never knew why when parents talk about sex, they say "the birds and the bees." I've seen birds have sex, sure, but isn't it more likely that you'd see two dogs fu*king than you'd see two bees doing it?

Well, today must have been my lucky day because I saw two bees getting down and dirty in my tomato plants. The video didn't come out too well, but here's a photo. After the she bee was done, she just kicked the male off her. Gotta love nature!

Ashes + Snow

A couple years ago, a friend told me about an absolutely mind blowing art exhibit she'd seen called Ashes and Snow. Unfortunately, it's on tour around the world and it's next stop is in Brazil, so it might be some time before any of us get to see it first-hand. You can, however, have quite the visceral experience through their website. If your computer is able, click on the "Enter the Enhanced Experience."

To go along with this, I thought I'd also share a moving elephant story my sister-in-law sent me:

In 1972, Joe Miller was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Tulsa Junior College. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Joe approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee, inspected the elephant’s foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it.

As carefully and as gently as he could, Joe worked the wood out with his knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.

The elephant turned to Joe, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Joe stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.

Joe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Thirty years later, Joe was walking through the Tulsa Zoo with his family. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Joe and his family were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Joe, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1972, Joe could not help wondering if this was the same elephant. Joe summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Joe's legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn't the same elephant.

My New Puppy Olive

Tiger and I added a new member to our family. Meet Olive Juneau Belge. She's an 8-week old Alaskan Malamute and the niece to our boy Rocky. We've had her for just a week and already we're in love.

Who Can Resist? Pictures of Puppies

This weekend I took a trip up into Washington to visit our friend whose dog just had 10 puppies. Actually these puppies are nieces and nephews to our 4-year old Rocky.

Everyone said if Tiger and I even went to visit, we were going to come home with one. As cute as they are, we really are still getting over losing Juneau (who would have been 14 on Saturday) and enjoying being a one-dog home for now.

But damn, they sure are cute, aren't they? And they just have that sweet puppy breath.

Missing the Girl

It's been a sad week at Dipstick & Tiger's house. A week ago today, we had to say goodbye to our old girl Juneau. She almost made it to 14, which for a 120 pound dog, is some kind of miracle.

Although she wasn't very active in her last few years, she did love to go out for her daily walks in the park, come home and have a cookie.

Every day for 14 years, she's been there, a part of our lives. When she was young, we used to mountain bike or hike for hours, just to wear her out. As she got older, a sniff around the park seemed to satisfy her. Then she would sleep the day away, often snoring or running in her dreams.

She had her quirks for sure. Like she couldn't be in the car without a window open, or she would howl and whine. That trip to the Southwest in December a few years ago was quite frigid.

Juneau was a serious dog. An old soul, she often had a concerned look on her face. She was known as the sheriff of the park, because she would break up dog fights. Not that she didn't start a few of her own, back in her youth. She would always come and nuzzle you if you were crying and was very protective of her cats.

She loved the snow. And digging in my garden. And babies and children. And could that girl sing!

She was terrified of fireworks, so every Fourth of July, we would pack up and go camping, just to get her away from them. She loved to run and play in the water, but didn't like to swim. When I would dive in and swim away from her, she would pace on the shoreline and howl and bark the most pathetic, concerned bark, until I came back. Every once in a while, she'd swim out after me, trying to round me up and coax me back to shore.

There was the time we took her on a whale watch and both she and Tiger got sea sick. And as she got older, she started to lose her hair, a condition the vets didn't know how to treat. It made her look ragged, but she didn't seem to notice, her once beautiful, full tail looked like a muskrat's.

She never liked to snuggle, but as she got older, she let us lavish her with love. The first thing I would do when I woke up in the morning was to give her a kiss on her muzzle and tell her how much I loved her. The house feels so empty without her here.

Saving an American Coot

Friday morning when Tiger and I were at the park, we noticed the dogs paying a lot of attention to something in the bushes. The dogpark is up near a wildlife refuge and we often see coyotes, bunnies and other animals, so I thought they were just smelling a spot where the animals go under the fence.

But when they wouldn't come when I called them, I went to investigate and noticed an injured bird. Well, if any of you know Tiger, there's one thing you know about her is her love of animals. She's like Ellen that way.

We called the Audubon Society and they said if we could bring it in, they would take a look at it. So we took the coat off our old dog and gently wrapped it around the bird and picked it up. It looked like some kind of duck. She struggled a bit, but settled into Tay's arms.

It took us about ten minutes to walk back to the car and another 30 to make it to the Audubon Society.

The volunteer there took the bird and told us it was an American Coot and she had a badly injured foot. The veterinarian was going to be in later in the day and they would try to help the coot.  We haven't heard yet, but we hope she is safe, warm and healing up for a release this Spring when the pond thaws.

Rose City Snow Day

Oh I love Portland when it snows. Since snow is kind of a novelty here, everyone gets so excited about it. Seriously, it’s all people talked about for days. And forget trying to find out any news on TV. Nothing else in the world matters as “Live Team Coverage” takes over. Seriously, there was a dusting on my porch this morning and when I turned on the TV, all news staff was dedicated to “Artic Blast” with a special graphic and reporters dispatched to all parts of the city, just to tell us everything was clear.



I’m not cynical. I love the snow. And eventually it did start falling. My dogs love the snow too, Alaskan Malamutes that they are. Rocky and I walked to New Seasons twice today. When you have a snow dog and it’s snowing out, everyone has to make some kind of comment. But I’m nice. I just laugh and pretend like it’s the first time today I’ve heard, “This is his kind of day, huh?” Because it is. And we’re all out enjoying it. Here are some pics from Portland’s snow day.

Someone Named Their Bunnies After Us!

Google is pretty cool. I signed up for this thing called Google Alerts and I get an email every time the words "Lipstick & Dipstick" are posted in a blog or on a website. It's a great way for us to read reviews of our book, find a mention of us on someone's website or see who is linking to us.

But sometimes the alert has nothing to do with Lipstick & Dipstick, advice columnists. Sometimes it's a guy being nasty about, well, you can imagine how the words "lipstick" and "dipstick" can be used  in a pornographic posting.

One thing I never expected was a post about bunnies, though. Someone named their bunnies Lipstick and Dipstick and they did what bunnies do, they made more bunnies. Then the owners posted pictures of them on the web.

See our bunnies here!

Snow Dog Day

Portland is weird in a lot of ways, but one of the strangest is the weather. It can be raining where I live, but less than three miles away, up in the West Hills, it will be snowing.

So, when I woke up Saturday morning to a rain/snow mix, I knew what I had to do. I've got two snow dogs--Alaskan malamutes and they love the snow. But one is pretty old and she can't tolerate the long drive up to the mountain anymore. So, we put her coat on her (She's losing her fur), loaded up the SUV and headed to the west hills.

By the time we crossed the river, it was snowing/raining pretty hard. As we wove our way up the steep neighborhood hills, the roads became slicker. We passed a few cars off in the ditch. Unfazed, we continued upward.

Up ahead a big truck was in the ditch and we had to turn around and head up a steep, snowy side road. Thank the goddess for four-wheel drive. It was slippery, but we made it to our destination. A big cemetery at the top of the hill.

It was all worth it, when we opened up the back of the truck and 13 year old, 120 pound Juneau bounded out and acted like she was five again. After an hour of playing, she limped back to the car and slept the rest of the day, with a big smile on her face.

A Day to Play

I love my job. But no matter how much your work feeds your soul, everyone needs a day off from time to time.  I hadn't taken even one day off since the first of the year and I was beginning to feel it.  I as getting cranky with my girl and every request Lipstick made, I just wanted to say "No!" 

So, Friday I took a much needed day away from work and headed up to Mt. Hood for some playing in the snow. With my best girl and my snow dog, we strapped on our snow shoes and headed on the trail to Trillium Lake. Just as we arrived, a light snow began to fall and I felt the tension leave my body with each breath of mountain air.  I laughed as my dog did his kooky "snow dance." We stayed until dusk, watching the trees go from white to pink and stopped for a hot drink on the way home. 

And now I sit back at my desk, all refreshed and ready to work. No matter who you are, or what your job calls you to do, make sure you take some time off to refuel. Everyone will be much happier. 

Dipstick's Cat Herbie

My cat Herbie likes birds. So do I. As a matter of fact, I have several bird feeders and a bird bath to entice them into my yard. But I thought it was cruel that she was catching them. After I pried a frightened, but unharmed goldfinch from her jaws, I decided it was time put a bell around her neck.

The warning bell seems to be working, because she hasn’t caught any birds since. She has, however, moved on to mice. Which is fine with me, I don’t really like mice and I’m not enticing them into my yard.

The only problem is, when Herbie catches a mouse, the first thing she does is run through her kitty door into the house with it. Where she promptly drops it on the floor. Still alive.

At which point my dog Rocky gets involved. He chases Herbie and the mouse hightails it. Usually under a bookcase or the fridge. The other night I heard a kafuffle. I knew it was Herbie with a mouse again. Under my dresser. She and the dog, keeping vigil. I don’t think it’s ever come out. I can only imagine one day I’m going to reach for a pair of socks to find a little mouse nestled in a pair of my smartwool hikers.

But the worst has already happened. One day my wife Tiger went down for an afternoon nap. The screams from the bedroom clearly announced what had happened. Yup, right under her pillow. You can bet I shake the sheets out before I climb into bed these days.

Ellen & Puppy Saga Part 2

I just can't get enough of this Ellen and the case of the misplaced puppy. On the one hand, I have sympathy for Ellen, she was just trying to do what she thought was right and give this doggie a good home. But on the other hand, she did sign a contract that must have said something about her not just placing this dog in a new home. Who are the real victims here? The poor little girls? The puppy? Ellen? Or the pet rescue organization. Weigh in with your comments below.

Ellen DeGeneres and the Puppy

While Lipstick is posting all those cute animal stories. I thought I'd throw in a tragedy. It seems Ellen DeGeneres, famed lesbian and animal lover, has put a poor puppy’s life in jeopardy. She’s remorseful. But can the puppy be saved?