Lipstick's Novel - Jukebox

Hi friends, although we've moved our blog over to Curve's website, I thought I'd post some info about my debut novel, Jukebox here, too.

You can read all about it HERE.

Sign up for the mailing list (click on link above then "subscribe") and I'll be sure to keep you posted on events and readings.

Get your copy today!

We've Moved Our Blog -- Kind Of

Hi Faithful Friends

Dipstick and I have been pretty lax this summer blogging--our apologies. We've been busy enjoying the sunshine and good friends.

We have some exciting news, though. Our blog is moving over to Curve Magazine's website. We will be posting over there now most of the time.

You can follow us here: http://www.curvemag.com/

See the arrow for direction.

(You'll also notice Dipstick's purdy mug on there, too, so be sure to watch that video of her from the Olivia cruise on their home page.)

We will continue posting important events and information here, so don't delete us off your RSS or your favorites page.

Our first blog on Curve's page will be up today or tomorrow.

We heart you.

Help Curve Keep Publishing!

We know these are tough economic times. And print media is struggling to figure out its place in the wide world of instant internet gratification. If you value Curve magazine, the place that gave Lipstick & Dipstick it's start and the place that continues to publish our monthly column, please do what you can to help out.

This year Curve is celebrating it's 20th year. But unless the community comes out to support it, Curve will not make it to its 21st birthday. Curve is struggling financially. There are a few ways you can help.

Make a donation.

Subscribe. And when you do, you're entered to win a trip to Cozumel with Sweet Vacations. Unlike most magazines that rely on advertising dollars to sustain them, Curve relies on its subscribers. So don't just pick an issue up at the newsstand. Become a regular subscriber.

Advertise. If you own a business, consider advertising in Curve magazine.

Buy your tickets to the 20th anniversary gala in San Francisco.

We love Curve and we know you do too. So please, do what you can. If you already subscribe, consider buying one for a friend.

Where would our community be without Curve?

SF Pride 2010

It's been almost a week since SF Pride and I think I'm just recovering now. Wow, what a fun and fantastic time. For the first time since we've been writing for them, Curve magazine had a float in the San Francisco Pride parade. I was so excited when I got the call. Did I want to ride on the float? Are you kidding me? I wouldn't miss it!

But before Sunday and the parade began, I had a lot of other partying to get through. I arrived in SF Friday morning. I spend the afternoon with my friends, before heading over to the Olivia/Curve comedy night show with Dana Goldberg, Julie Goldman, Sandra Valls and Gina Yashere. I ran into many friends from past Olivia trips and laughed my little a** off. Then it was off to Tease to dance the night away. Perhaps I should have started pacing myself earlier.

I had to be up early the next morning to join my friends over in Delores Park because I was helping out on stage at the Dyke March. My good friend Retts is stage manager and I volunteered to help out with stage crew. From noon until 7pm or so, we hustled ladies and dykes on and off the stage. Drummers and poets and politicians and singers and drag kings. What a lot of fun! I got to say hi to old friend Alix Dobkin and meet one of my butch Role Models, Phranc. The only bummer is we were wrapping things up at the stage and I missed the beginning of the march. The Dykes on Bikes. You know how Dipstick loves the Dykes on Bikes.

After a quick dinner and outfit change, it was time to head out for more dancing with Curve and Olivia. This time over at the Olivia headquarters where I got to hang out with new friends: Mikey from The Real L Word and Top Chef Josie. But the big thrill of the night was when a tall woman came up to me and said, "Hi, I'm Sheri Sam." As in, Sheri Sam, the amazing WNBA star. If there's one thing Dipstick likes better than Dykes on Bikes, it's women's basketball. What an amazing day this was turning out to be.

Lord knows what time it was by the time I got home to bed. And we had to meet at some corner at 10:15 am for the float. When I finally found the corner, I found the Curve ladies frantically gluing tissue paper and glitter to the Curve float. I grabbed a staple gun and got right to work.

I love coming down to San Francisco for Curve events, because I get to meet other Curve contributors, like the amazing photographer Cheryl Mazak and blogger Queerie Bradshaw. And of course, any time I get to hang out with Curve publisher Franco Stevens, it's a good day. Once the float was together, we relaxed a bit, practiced our butchest parade wave and watched all the beautiful people stroll by.

After about two hours of waiting, finally it was our turn! Our big cupcake float pulled out onto the street and the crowds were deafening. Our onboard DJ spun some old school Michael Jackson and of course, Pussy Cat Dolls. I waved and blew bubbles and looked for people I knew in the crowd while the ground crew handed out magazines to the crowd. The sun was out. We were happy and gay. And too quickly, it was over.

I headed back to my hotel room to rest up, because, no, oh no, there was still much more partying to be done. Met some new friends for Happy Hour, old friends for dinner and then we all went to see Red Hot Blues Sisters play in a small club downtown.

I stayed in San Francisco an extra day. I planned on spending some time hanging out and seeing the city. Instead, I got a late check-out from my hotel, met a friend for lunch and took the shuttle to the airport.

You can see why it took me so long to recover. I'm not as young as I once was. But still, Pride in San Francisco never gets old.

Curve Auction :: Dani Campbell + the Real L Word Ladies

Exclusive eBay Curve Auction....

This is a chance of a lifetime!

Hang out with the smoking hot Curve magazine cover girl... lesbian firefighter DANI CAMPBELL from MTV's A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila!
Now's your chance to hang out with Dani Campbell in San Francisco during Pride Weekend (June 26-27, 2010)

If you are the highest bidder, you and a friend will party with Dani Campbell and the Curve magazine editors in San Francisco during Pride Weekend!

Here's what's included:

• Lunch for you and a friend with Dani Campbell (Saturday, June 26th) in San Francisco

• Two (2) ALL-ACCESS general admission passes to EDEN - All Women, All Weekend.
EDEN: The official women's events at San Francisco Pride: with Dani Campbell and cast members from Showtime's new series, The Real L Word.
Include general admission passes to:
EDEN Welcome Party (Thursday, June 24th)
Lesbian Comedy Show (Friday, June 25th)
Tease Dance Party (Friday, June 25th)
EDEN Signature Dance party (Saturday, June 26th)
Good Times after party in Oakland (Sunday, June 27th)

• One (1) autographed copy of Dani's Curve magazine cover

• One (1) official limited edition Curve magazine 20th Anniversary Tee Shirt

• Two (2) Grandstand tickets for at San Francisco’s Pride Parade (Saturday, June 26th)


*** NOTE: This package does not include hotel, air travel or transportation.
••••••••
ABOUT EDEN:SIX MONTHS in the making...
Movement Productions and Curve Magazine present in conjunction with Olivia Travel, BoiBlue Events and FullCircle Events
The 1st ANNUAL All Women, All Weekend Pride Event

EDEN is the 1st Annual All Women, All Weekend San Francisco Pride Event co-produced by Movement Productions and Curve Magazine in conjunction with Olivia Travel, BoiBlue Events and FullCircle Events. Welcome to four days of non-stop parties, women and more. For information on ticket prices please click here (http://edensf.eventbrite.com/)
THURSDAY - June 24tn
EDEN Welcome Party
Parc55, SF
7pm-9pm
Only available to ALL ACCESS and ALL ACCESS VIP Ticket Holders

FRIDAY - June 25th
EDEN Comedy Show co-sponsored by Olivia Travel
Parc55, SF
7pm-9pm

Featured Comedians: Dana Goldberg, Sandra Valls, Julie Goldman, Gina Yashere

FRIDAY - June 25th
TEASE
Suite 181
181 Eddy, SF
9pm-3am

Featured DJs: DJ Olga T, DJ C-L.A. DJ Calalo, DJ Campbell, DJ Rockaway

Hosted by: Aysha of Flourish and Miranda of Afterglow

2 Floors
3 Dancefloors
5 DJs
Gorgeous, Hosted VIP areas
Bottle Service (VIP only)
Hot Go-Gos
Hotter Celesbians


SATURDAY - June 26th
EDEN
Taste the Forbidden Fruit
434 Brannan, SF
Inside the historic Olivia Travel Building, 3rd Floor
9pm-3am

Featured DJs: DJ Olga T, DJ Ms. Jackson, DJ Rockaway

Be transported into the Garden of Eden with 180 degree views overlooking the city, Movement Productions and FullCircle Events have created San Francisco's very own Eden inside the historic Olivia Travel building. Come taste of the Forbidden Fruit.

The Flyest Music
Hot Go-Gos
Drink Specials
Meet our Comedians
Special Guest Celesbians from THE REAL L WORD
Hosted VIP section
Hosted Bottle Service
Red Carpet
Valet Parking


SUNDAY - June 27th
GOOD TIMES
The Den, Oakland
7pm-midnight

Featured DJs: DJ Olga T, DJ Rapture, DJ Ryan, DJ Trinity, DJ Jacatac

End your party weekend right at one of the most popular All Women's event in the Bay, GOOD TIMES in the city with the largest lesbian population in the country, Oakland! GOOD TIMES is hosted at one of the most beautifully appointed venues in Oakland, The Den. Right across from the 17th street Bart, it takes less than 20 minutes to Bart over from the city and trust it is well worth the trip!

To bid, go here: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=300434151013&ssPageName=ADME:B:EF:US:1123

Cancun

Have you been following Dipstick in Cancun? Her daily blog posts can be found over at Curve magazine.

Our Latest Column in Curve :: How to Rekindle the Spark

Where Do Lesbians Find Undercover Lovers?

Dip and I are working on our next column for Curve Magazine and we need your help!

Please take chime in (poll on the left sidebar) about where lesbians most often cheat.

We want to know what you think!

Is it...

- At the Office?

- On the Road?

- On the Internet?

- At School?

- At the Bar?

- In the World of Past Lovers?

Results will be published in Curve this spring...

Curve Magazine - November Column

Photoshoot for Curve

I was in Portland last week and we did a photoshoot for Curve. It's always so great to see our photographer, Maggie Parker, who has been with us from the beginning.

I snapped this photo (I have an amazing disjointed, telescopic arm) before we dispersed. I think Mags captured some great shots for Curve. You'll have to wait until the spring to see the photos (as they're slated for March and April): Dipstick & I with wedding rings and us offering up "The Lesbian Handbook."

In case you never saw our expose on the great photography that plays off our words in Curve, be sure to check it out below in the webisode "Butch Femme Lens."

Sex Wars :: Is Porn All Bad?

Recently, a letter was sent to the editor at Curve complaining about some advice we gave Miserable in Maple Grove [Vol. 19 #4]. It set off a small debate Curvites are now calling "Sex Wars Circa 2009." While only the letter of complaint and our retorts (we've never done this in column form before) can be found in the current issue of Curve, you get the whole enchilada here.

ORIGINAL COLUMN

Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: I feel lonely in my relationship. I’m 22-year-old femme with a 26-year-old butch partner. We got married in California in July. We’re fighting a lot lately and not having sex. She’s says she’s just not up for it. I don't know if we aren't having sex because we’re fighting or if we’re fighting because we aren't having sex. In the beginning, we had sex and it was Earth shattering. Recently, I’ve started looking at lesbian porn. I usually hate porn. My ex used to look at it and it hurt me deeply. I’d be really upset if I found out my current girlfriend was looking at porn, too. After viewing this I feel guilty and more lonely and depressed than before. Please help!—Miserable in Maple Grove

Lipstick: I wonder if this is No Muffs girlfriend?

Dipstick: Maybe so, but what I want to know is what gives with the guilt about looking at naked women? There’s nothing wrong with porn, for you, for your lover, for your mother or anyone else. As long as it doesn’t become addictive, watching porn, reading erotica, viewing x-rated movies is all good and can be part of a healthy sex life. Too often we depend on our partners to be our best friend, our confidant, a sexy lover, personal chef and co-parent to our children. No one person can meet all your needs all the time. When your lover isn’t up for cooking, you order out. When she’s not up for sex, watch porn and masturbate. Hell, watch with your partner too! And when you’re through, tie her hands with a silk scarf to the bedpost, sit on her knees and talk until she hears your concerns.

Lipstick: Did you ever see that fight scene in Mr. and Mrs. Smith when Brangalina are trying to kill each other and suddenly sex breaks out? Sounds like you guys need to trash the house just like they did. One question: Why won’t she have sex with you? You didn’t say. Maybe she’s being lazy or letting work get in the way? Or perhaps it’s something more serious like dealing with a broken-down vagina or sexual abuse issues. Find yourself a good therapist and dig into what’s keeping you at each other’s necks (you should be there with your tongue, not a razor blade). While you’re at it, see the counselor on your own to get over your issues around porn, as they’re playing into your sexual prowess, too. Shame is an awful aphrodisiac.

LETTER TO THE EDITOR

Shocked Over Porn Approval

“Miserable in Maple Grove” [Lipstick and Dipstick, Vol. 19 #5] began by saying she and her partner were not having sex and were fighting a lot, and that when she, Maple, had started looking at porn it made her feel “guilty and more lonely and depressed than ever.” Dipstick told her that if her partner didn’t feel like having sex, she should look at porn and masturbate and that “there is nothing wrong with porn.” Lipstick told her to get over her “issues” around porn in counseling because of her “shame.” I am astonished that L and D could turn relationship trouble into an advertisement for porn and practically say that lesbians should like porn and if they don’t they are crazy!

I have had the great good fortune to never be in a relationship where my partner has said, “Oh honey, you have the flu and don’t feel like having sex? No problem, I’ll just look at some pictures of girls who are way hotter than you and jack off. Aren’t you glad we are so sexually healthy?” Geez, even my ex-husband was sensitive enough to understand that many women are a tad threatened by pornography. Maybe it is a femme thing, but I have to walk this earth everyday being compared to an idealized and impossible to attain version of feminine beauty, a version that is often portrayed in porn. And porn doesn’t turn me on, it usually makes me feel bad. Even though L and D would disagree, I don’t think I’m crazy, I think a lot of women are glad their partners don’t flaunt pornography in their faces and tell them they need counseling if they don’t like it.

Miserable didn’t say she felt shame, she said she felt worse than ever after looking at porn in the absence of sex with her partner. This is not unlike when a person feels worse after they do something that they think might make them feel better, like having a fling or drinking to excess or buying things they don’t need, and then afterward they feel worse than ever because their actions were so far afield of addressing the real relationship problem at hand. The poor woman feels bad enough, and now according to Land D, she is supposed to feel guilty that she feels guilty. Not helpful advice.

When men pressure women to watch porn with them, and then call the woman a prude for not wanting to, everyone gets up in arms. What’s up with women telling other women the same thing?

And Dipstick, is there really nothing wrong with porn? Nothing at all? Even the fact that most women who are posing for your pleasure were sexually abused as children? That right there is a big turn-off for many women. As a social worker, I work with teen girls who were abused as youngsters who become society’s prostitutes and strippers and porn “stars.” It’s not pretty what it takes to get them into those jobs, believe me. And sometimes this causes conflict for women who may be aroused by but also uneasy about porn. Let’s take care of one another, not impose our sexual likes on others as the only game in town. And when people write in about being “lonely in their relationship” I hope that L and D will focus on how that could be made better. It’s unlikely pornography will do much to enrich their relationship.—Sunshine in California

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

LIPSTICK & DIPSTICK RESPONSE

Lipstick: Sunshine in California, thank you for writing in. You made some really good points. Beyond touching on porn, I did address her relationship problems. I told Miserable to get her butt into therapy because there is a reason they’ve stopped having sex, a reason her partner’s shut down. Encouraging her to also discuss her guilt around looking at pornography (at her own volition, I might add, not because some guy shoved it down her throat or Lipstick & Dipstick told her to do so) is also a real issue here. She went to those sites and then felt shame around it. That shame, and wherever it stems from, is also playing into her relationship. As advice columnists, we hear from A LOT of women and so many of them feel way too much guilt around sexuality—in the world, the bedroom and in their minds. I believe women, unless they’re doing/supporting something illegal or that will hurt someone, need to lighten up about sex and all the colorful flags that hang from it. Finally, it was Lipstick & Dipstick Miserable wrote into, not Dr. Laura. And it is Lipstick & Dipstick readers are reading, not a column by Dr. Phil. They walk into the L & D fire knowing we have strong opinions, we often make light of things, dig our teeth into specific issues and spank bottoms. (Just to clarify that last statement, Sunny, I wasn’t encouraging women to practice S & M. Or wait, maybe I was.)

Dipstick: Sunshine touched on this age-old debate, didn’t she? Is pornography just another way to oppress women or is it freeing, sexually liberating? Will lesbians and feminists ever agree on this? Probably not, because like most things, it’s not black and white, good or evil, right or wrong. Just because some rock songs are misogynist and homophobic, doesn’t mean that all music is.

As for the sexual abuse issue, I won’t argue that most women involved in the sex industry were abused as children, that’s because so many women were sexually abused—

period. In fact the CDC, in a conservative estimate, no doubt, says that 1 in 4 women are sexually abused before they turn 18. We all have reasons to feel bad about our sexuality, whether it be homophobia, poor body image or religious indoctrination. Lipstick & Dipstick are advocating women take control of their sexuality and feel good about it. There’s no need to feel guilt or shame about masturbation when your partner is not available. If porn turns you on, go for it. If it doesn’t that’s okay, too. What we want is for every woman to be empowered about her satisfaction. Maybe one day we’ll get there and we’ll all walk naked in the sunshine with you California.

Lipstick & Dipstick Show Channel

Check out our new YouTube Channel!

Watch, comment and subscribe!

http://www.youtube.com/user/LipstickDipstickShow

Submit Your Question Via Video to Lip & Dip

As ya'll know, Lipstick & Dipstick have a little web series going on at www.curvemag.com and we want your help!

We are looking for a few good (or troubled) dykes with questions who are willing to submit them on camera for a possible webisode.

Do you have a question? Do you have a web cam? If so, reach out to us at ask@lipstickdipstick.com.

Our Latest Column in Curve

Our most recent column hit newstands this week. You can

click on the pictures below if you'd like a sneak peek.

Lipstick & Dipstick Show :: Pining in Portland

Check out our latest webisode on www.curvemag.com or watch it here. Pass it along to your friends!

L & D Show :: Pining in Portland
Uploaded by LipstickDipstickShow. - Explore lifestyle, fashion, and DIY videos.

Our Latest Column

In case you don't subscribe to Curve (you should, shame on you), here is our latest column in the August Issue.

Long Distance Relationship Advice

Gooooood Monday Morning To Ya!

Are you in a long distance relationship right now? If so, L & D have some advice for you. Here is our latest installment of the L & D Show. Dip and I aren't in the same city, so we did this show just like we do our monthly column: by lobbing back and forth our responses.

Beyond here, it's also live on Curvemag.com:

Long Distance Longing
Uploaded by LipstickDipstickShow. - Have a look at more lifestyle videos.

Hot Girl-on-Girl Action Coming to Your Backyard

If you want...

Curve's Executive Editor, Diane Anderson-Minshall, has a hot new novel hitting the streets and is willing to come to you for a reading if you can rally the troops.

Do you know a bunch of lesbians who want to hear her read from her juicy new erotic thriller Punishment with Kisses? If so, contact Annabella Chin at annabellapr@gmail.com.

Beyond the amazing work she does at Curve, Diane is also an award-winning author who pens the Blind Eye Mystery series with her co-pilot in life Jacob Anderson-Minshall.

Our Most Recent Column

Here is our latest column in Curve. If you don't subscribe, check it out.

Did you all know you can be green and and subscrribe to the digital edition? Check it out.

What Do You Think?

For our next column in Curve, we'd like to include the best answer from you guys, too, along with our typical sass and fodder. What advice would you give Throwing in the Towel?

Post it here or drop us an email at ask@lipstickdipstick.com. Do right away! Time is of the essence and we want your opinion!


Dear Lipstick & Dipstick: I recently started emailing a 38-year-old woman with two young sons on a dating site. We met and somehow ended up in bed the first date. The sex was wonderful, but I had reservations about someone who just seemed to want to have a sexual relationship and not spend anytime getting to really know me. Within a couple weeks she was already talking about moving in together and being a family. I've been in several long term relationships (10 years and 12 years) in the past and maybe I'm just old fashioned. Is this the "norm" in the lesbian community these days? Is this what they mean by "renting the U-Haul on the third date?" When I told her that things were moving too fast for me, she said she felt rejected and didn't understand. I cancelled my membership to the on-line dating service and I'm wondering if I'm too old (46) for this dating game anymore?—Throwing In the Towel