Lucy Jane

Lucy Jane Bledsoe is an author whose books I adore. She puts words together in ways I can only do in my dreams. She grew up in Portland and every time she writes a new book, which seems like all the time, she comes and reads at Powell’s, our favorite independent bookstore. Every time I go. But because she grew up here, I think I’m the only one in the audience that she doesn’t know.

This year, I decided, is the time I finally go and introduce myself to her. After all, I’m a writer. I have my first book coming out next month. At least it will be some way to break the ice, to have something to say to her, other than, “It’s Kathy with a ‘K’.”

So, I go to the reading and the place is packed with old high school buddies, parents of high school buddies, old high school teachers, and parents of old high school teachers. I find a seat in the back, wedged between her mom and a very pretty girl I imagine she had a crush on in high school. From what I can tell, there’s only one other lesbian in the audience. Probably her first girlfriend. Or her current girlfriend. I have no idea.

I like to think I’m all suave and you know, Dipstick. So after the reading is over, I casually saunter up to the signing table and leaf through a book as Lucy Jane hugs an old high school pal. I see her see me, lurking, the only person she doesn’t know and perhaps the only one who is actually going to buy a book today. I pretend I’m looking at the book, but then she pulls herself away from her aunt and asks if I’d like the book signed. I have everything practiced in my mind of what I want to say, “Hi, I’m a writer too. Yup, my first book is coming out next month. You’ve been an inspiration to me. I love all your books…”

But instead, I turn beat red and the only words I manage to get out are, “It’s Kathy with a ‘K’.”
Go check out Lucy Jane Bledsoe’s new book: Biting the Apple.

Question:: Scared & Sane

Lipstick & Dipstick:
I just recently left an emotionally abusive woman who destroyed my personal and professional life. We worked together and she used her influence to keep me from promoting within the company. The situation got so bad, I finally asked for a transfer. Despite moving across the country, she continued to call and come to town whenever possible. When I recently refused to see her, she and her friends started a rumor about me in the community. I thought I was safe when she married her girlfriend on my b-day (not a coincidence) and left the country, but she continued to call. I lied and told her I was dating someone else, someone she knew and was afraid of. So far this has worked, as I haven’t heard from her in almost a year. Here’s the real dilemma. Next week, I have to go back to my old office for an important meeting and I’m terrified she’s going to find out and harass me once again. I just got my sanity back. Do you have any suggestions for dialing down the drama, keeping me safe, and interacting with my freaky ex?
Scared & Sane

Lipstick: I have two words for you: restraining order. Is it too late to apply for one? This crackpot is a piece of work! First and foremost, do not, under any circumstance, find yourself alone with this woman. How could she unload her toxic bullshit with another co-worker in the room? If you’re standing near the boss, she’ll back her dump truck out of the area and save it for another day, a day when you’re a thousand miles away. Also, before you travel, talk to the HR manager and give them a heads up. If they know Lulu and have half a clue, they won’t be surprised that she’s trying to destroy you. Most lunatics are transparent psychopaths in other areas of life, too. Beyond being a safe haven for you, your company is under legal obligation to protect you when the schizoid comes unhinged again. If they don’t help out, I’ve got two more words for you: fat lawsuit. Which lead me to two more: retire early.

Dipstick: Lipstick, if only… The truth is most batterers are NOT psycho to the rest of the world. They are conniving and manipulative and show their best face to the world. That’s how they charm the pants off unsuspecting victims like S&S. Here’s what you need to do sister: You’ve got to go double-crazy on her. Hopefully stalker gal won’t be there when you head back to the office, but if she is, be prepared! Sign up for the women’s self defense class at your local community center. Rent some Bruce Lee DVDs and watch them on the plane trip back. Practice in the airplane aisle if you need to. Once you explain yourself to the stewardess, she’ll understand. Walk tall into the building and don’t let her intimidate you. Carry some mace in your purse for extra confidence. If Looney looks your way, let out a long, hideous laugh. Roll your eyes around like you’re the crazy one. Chances are she won’t come near you. But if she does, jump into a kung fu stance and warn her if she comes near you you’ll rip her neck open. Go ballistic—it works every time.

Seattle Here We Come

Seattle Bitches Look Out!

Dipstick and I are headed your way next month for Girl-4-Girl's ROCK AGAINST CANCER event. The details are on the flyer, but here are the basics:

OCT 20th
9pm
Showbox SODO (1700 1st Ave South)

We will be your hosts and Kirsten Price will be performing (as seen and heard on the L Word and CSI). Come on down!

Ashleigh for President!

How about Ashleigh Flynn for President?

I still think Hillary would love some girl-on-girl, but how can she let herself go there? She's going to be the next President for christsakes. She may not currently be engaging in cunnilingus, but I'm confident she'd love a little taco for lunch if it was on the menu of things she was allowed to eat.

Which reminds me, did you see her on Meet the Press yesterday? I TIVOed it and watched it last night. Damn that woman is eloquent and smart. She is ALWAYS on her game. I wondered if she ever lets it all hang out. I'd like to see her drunk at Super Bowl party with money riding on the game. Do you think she ever drops the F-bomb?

Who knows if Hillary is really a lezbot, but I know plenty of homos who would vote against gay marriage - especially if they don't realize they're gay or are deeply ashamed by their sexual impulses. Look at Senator Craig. Look at Mark Foley. Look at Ted Haggard. The list goes on and on. And those are only the ones who've gotten caught with their pants down.

I have a very strong opinion regarding the root of all this newsworthy drama. Those who are most vehement toward the gay community, those who would vote for anything anti-gay have MAJOR unresolved issues surrounding their own sexuality. They're usually the BIGGEST closet cases themselves. Sexuality is not to be feared...unless you've got something deep and buried inside yourself.

Happy Monday,
Lipstick

Hillary's No Lesbian

Sorry Lipstick. Hillary's come out, and she may have gone an all woman's college, but she didn't share a bed with a sister. Or if she did, it was just a LUG thing. Because, in an interview with The Advocate Hillary Clinton declares she's not a lesbian.

But I could have told you that. No lesbian I know is for civil unions and against gay marriage. So, what do you say people? Are you going to vote for her? If not, who has your vote at this early stage in the game?

Make Ashleigh a Star!

Our friend Ashleigh Flynn is an amazing singer/songwriter and we're trying to help make her a star. She's in the running to win a competition on Ourstage.com. See why we think she's so great and then go Vote For Her. (You have to register, but it's free.) Voting ends Sunday.

Not only is she a great singer, look at how cute she is!

The Clock is Ticking

And that doesn't mean I'm ready to have a baby. It means I'm going stir crazy as I wait to hear back from literary agents about the arm I cut off and sent them.

I'll back up a minute. About a month ago, I finished my first novel. It's a super sexy story about two girls--Grace and Caroline--who fall in love. Here's the synopsis:

Have you ever had a secret? One that climbed through your window at night?

Caroline Dillon had one of those secrets--the kind you wouldn’t dare write in your diary. Her secret: Grace Dunlop, a fellow debutante who blew Caroline’s world apart like a stick of dynamite when they fell in love.

As their childhood friendship--one touched by the country club, best friend charms and black tie balls-ignites into a fiery kiss, they’re thrown into a world of underground passion as they try and keep their relationship a secret. From stealing kisses in bathroom stalls to purposefully bringing guys to their sorority house, these femme lovers do everything they can to throw people off their blazing trail. But are they fooling everyone? And are they able to withstand the heat?

High Fidelity meets Legally Blonde and Personal Best, this sexy manuscript is loosely centered on the jukebox at a Scottsdale dive bar. Deeply in love and in the closet, Caroline and Grace rely on the music to communicate, sending cryptic messages across the smoky room to one another with each song. The jukebox is initially the apple, the forbidden fruit they offer each other in the shaded lyrics.

As the closet door becomes too hot to handle, Caroline and Grace’s sizzling love affair is prematurely squelched…but deep beneath the rubble, the coals are still burning, and it’s not until a decade later, when they’ve both settled into their lives, that they meet again and are forced to deal with the smoldering ruins.

Are you salivating yet? Well, as I type, fates wheels are turning as I wait to hear back from a few literary agents I've sent the story to. So, soon, hopefully it will be at a bookstore near you. Currently, I'm also burning the midnight oil as I adapt it into a screenplay (more on that later).

Have any of you ever been through this agonizing process? Does anyone out there have any good literary agent connections? If so, I'd love to hear from you: lipstick@lipstickdipstick.com

xo

Phoenix Wins WNBA Title: Does Anyone care but Me?

I had a routine this summer. Every time a WNBA game was on, I’d record it and watch while I worked out on my Nordic Track. I watched a lot of basketball and got some great workouts in. (Hint: a great way to do interval training is to sprint every time your team has the ball.) It’s no secret that I’m a huge women’s basketball fan. Going to the Women’s Final Four in Boston in 2006 was one of the high points of my life, even if my beloved Lady Vols didn’t make it.

But lately, I’m wondering, am I the only one who cares? I did see that 22,000 fans crowded into Detroit Palace to watch game five of the championship series. But no one I know even knew there was a playoff.

Portland used to have a great ABL team: The Portland Power, with great players like Michelle Marciniak, Natalie Williams and Katy Steding. Then the ABL folded and we were granted a WNBA team, the Portland Fire. I can’t remember being happier than the day we took Jackie Stiles as the fourth pick in the 2001 draft. To this day, Jackie Stiles was one of my favorite plays to watch.

But sadly, the Portland Fire folded in 2002, leaving us with no professional women’s basketball team. And one by one, all of my friends lost interest in the game. Adjoa moved to Buffalo. Chama went off to college in Corvallis. Dionne got too busy with her business. My girlfriend, trying to be supportive, would sit and read her book in the living room while the games were on. When someone made a great play and I would cheer, she would sit up and say, “What happened?” And I’d feebly try to explain the incredible feed Kelly Miller just dished to Penny Taylor or Cappie Pondexter’s amazing cut to the basket. Tiger would smile, nod and go back to her book.

It's lonely out here for a ball fan. How about you out there? Does anyone watch the WNBA or is it just me?

Melissa Etheridge and Me

Do you have a life list? You know, things you want to accomplish before you die. Like write a book (check). Go to the Women's Final Four. (check) Visit Peru. (someday).

I have two life lists. One is personal. One is professional. Today I got to cross one thing off my professional life list. Today I interviewed Melissa Etheridge.

Like many lesbians in my age group, (Let's just say it's "around 40") Melissa was there when I was coming out. Her Red Album, as we called her self-titled first LP, was the sound track to many road trips to the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival, lesbian dances and rugby parties. We all "knew" she was gay, even though she hadn't come out yet. I saw her in concert in 1992 and my friends and I passed the binoculars back and forth trying to figure out if that was a labrys around her neck.

Anyway, the music of Melissa Etheridge has meant a lot to me at different times in my life and it was an honor and a privilige to be able to interview her. She was very gracious, very open, honest and appreciative of the lesbian community. I won't reveal the details of our interview. You'll have to wait and read it in Curve, but I will say one thing.

That blog, where I suggested she run for president? Let's just say, she hasn't ruled it out. Okay, that's enough of a tease. Look for my interview in the December issue of Curve magazine.

A Little Tease

We are on countdown to the release of our book; it's just a month or so away. So, we thought we'd give you a little tease of what's to come in the book...


Her Bra Is Still Stuck in the Fan
When you feel threatened

Sloan was known for her great tits. At Pride each year, there was always a strategic gaggle of girls lined up in the stands, jockeying for a good view of the parade and her cleavage. Even though those dykes tried to be inconspicuous behind their sunglasses, Sloan’s girlfriend, Charlotte, was on to the vibe. She, after all, had been an ogler herself. She and Sloan had been in a monogamous relationship for two years and just closed on their first house together. Aside from her voluptuous bosom, Sloan was also known for her wild ways. The uninhibited soul, Sloan had, at more than one party, been the ringleader behind long games of strip poker. From a few feet away, as Charlotte sipped her martini, she watched Sloan shed her clothing piece by piece until everyone was either in her skivvies or skin.

This infuriated Charlotte and she’d talked to Sloan about it more than once. Despite her best effort, Sloan couldn’t help herself and things reached a dangerous head when they were at the dyke bar one night. On the dance floor together, they were dancing the night away until Sloan, claiming she was overheated, decided to take her top off and launch her bra at the DJ booth, only to have it get caught on the ceiling fan. Rumor has it, it’s still there today, spinning above the dance floor, slowly driving Charlotte insane while driving a wedge between her and Sloan.

LIPSTICK: Never, ever, ever take your bra off and throw it in a public establishment if the fans are on! Let’s just hope it wasn’t a new Infinity Edge bra from Victoria’s Secret—they’re pricey. It’s hard to estimate how many bras have been lost in the smoky dive bar abyss, or after a onenight stand because you couldn’t remember her name, or what her cross streets were.

DIPSTICK: I like to think the lady who left her bra at my house did so not because she lost my address, but so I’d have something to remember her by. Lipstick: Dream on, Dip. If the above anecdote is ringing a bell, then you know what Circling Charlotte is dealing with—it’s called I-don’t-trust-my-girlfriend-and-I-don’t-know-what-to-do syndrome.

Are you the one who feels totally alienated by your lover when she peels off her clothes and slides into a Jacuzzi full of lip-licking lesbians? Are you the one who loves your birthday suit? Either way, this situation is about more than getting naked. It’s about boundaries, security and comfort zones, and it must be dealt with or you can say good-bye to your longterm relationship (LTR).

As territorial beings, we have no choice but to, at times, feel threatened in our relationships. It’s a knee-jerk reaction, something we don’t always have control over. It could be something our lovers did, or it could be from some stupid dyke fresh out of the closet who’s trying to snatch your girlfriend.(Seasoned dykes should know better.)

Regardless of the cause, the two of you must talk this out and establish some firm boundaries, ones that if crossed have repercussions (more than just a spanking). Shame on Sloan for not being more respectful of Charlotte’s feelings and shame on Charlotte for letting this lacey pattern continue.

DIPSTICK: Hold up there little hussy. If I know Sloan—and trust me, I’ve met a few gals just like her—this is one wild child who won’t be tamed. Nor should she! I know plenty of women who would be happy with Sloan’s crazy ways. Wasn’t it Sloan’s licentious side that made Charlotte fall for her in the first place? Listen up ladies, if you’re not happy with an exhibitionist partier, then let your little panther run free and find yourself a nice bunny rabbit.

LIPSTICK: No, Dipstick, I don’t want to tame the lion, I just want to remind all the voluptuous vixens out there who like to drop trou about seven little letters that equal RESPECT, a very important word in lesbian relationship vocabulary. Has Charlotte talked to Sloan about this? Has she sat her down somewhere other than the club right after the tits-ident? If she’s chosen to only address the issue in the dark corner of the bar, then this relationship is in trouble. Confronting a partner needs to be done in a private safe space (unless she’s endangering her life or is about to cheat, then go ahead and make a scene). In an even-tempered, loving way, impart to your girlfriend that her behavior makes you uncomfortable and that you’d rather watch reruns of Bush’s inaugural speech than go out drinking with her again. Leveling with your girlfriend will usually work. If it doesn’t and she’s still dancing on the tables without her over the shoulder boulder holder, then I say it’s time to seriously consider if this is a woman you truly want to be with. If she says she’s sorry, but she just got caught up in the moment, give her one more chance (we all deserve one more chance), but if the pattern continues, do you really want to be with someone who can’t control her behavior?

That all said, I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. All the work doesn’t rest on Sloan’s shoulders. You must ask yourself why her naked shenanigans get your panties in a twist. Perhaps you could use a shot of tequila or a hit from the bong.

But it’s not so much about the nudity as it is that you don’t trust Sloan, huh? Or you’re too afraid to show your own boobies? And her uninhibited spirit makes you jealous. Nudity isn’t a bad thing (unless you’re at the dyke march stalled under a sappy tree, then it is—sap is hard to get out of pubic hair). Your insecurities may be hampering this relationship as much as her nudist colony membership. Sit down face-to-face with your clothes on and work it out. But you must remember, when dealing with each other, not only no bra flinging, but also no mud slinging!

DIPSTICK: Lipstick, why must you insist our sisters alter their consciousnesses to lighten up? Boozing and doping don’t solve any problems; they just mask them for a while. And most of the jealous types I know only get more so with each passing drink. Take it from Dipstick: you don’t want to douse a girl like Sloan’s flame. Instead, join her in the bra flinging. It will do you good to get out of those khakis and polo shirt anyway!

Letter from a Military Woman

Dipstick is in trouble with the military gals again. Read on:

To Lipstick and Dipstick:

I would like to ask you both if you have any idea what it is like to
go to Iraq, leave your family and your life and hope and have faith
that you come home alive? It really disappointed me how you can give
out advice so off-the-cuff without any consideration of what it is
like. I happen to be in the military and am leaving for Iraq next
month. I will be gone for 15 months or until they see fit to let us
come home. It is a very serious issue when you have a partner and
for us, we love one another and will have been committed a whole
year the first week of next month (together for 3). I won't even be
able to celebrate it with her. When I read your response like " Oh
well if you end up in the hot tub with someone else..." or defending
the oil" How do you know what we do over there? By the news? If it
is your own opinion state it! That is bullshit! If you know how it
feels fine, but don't crack jokes or write to people giving them
advice if you have no idea or can stop one minute to empathize with
what emotions they are going through. I am a professional and have
large amounts of responsibility as so does she. We are not about to
go out and start whoring around simply because I have decided to
support my soldiers and sacrifice for my country.

I would give you both some advice, it is not personal, but please
consider the consequences of what you put in this magazine. There
are some that probably read this and take it and run with your
advice, me on the other-hand, I am older, more mature and absolutely hate drama and 99% of the time laugh at what you write.

I hope you both can understand what I am getting at.

-Military Woman

This refers to Volume 17 Number 8 page 26 under Advice from Lipstick and Dipstick letter from cheating chicks and the response they had.

Dear Military Woman:
First of all, let me be the first to say that we do not take your service to our country lightly. You’re right, we have no experience with war and can’t imagine what is must be like for you. Not only to put yourself and your life at risk, but to have to do so in the closet in order to be there. Plus being away from your true love for that long and not being able to be open about that. We appreciate and respect what you do.

Second, the line about oil, that was not how I wrote the line. Our editor changed it.

But most importantly, the advice we gave was not to you and your partner, but to two women who have a history of cheating. I stand by my advice to have a serious discussion about putting the relationship on hold until she returns from service. I think it is good and sound advice in this situation. Obviously she was having doubts about being faithful, or she wouldn’t have written to us.

Now, as you know, Lipstick & Dipstick are not Dear Abby. We like to be racy and have fun. Lipstick’s comments about the hot tub were not meant to be taken literally. Surely, even the most naïve Curve reader will recognize that. We were having fun and trying to entertain.

But obviously we hit a sore spot with you. Sometimes humor does that.

Just so you know, no disrespect was intended to you or to any of our service members.
In Peace,
Dipstick

Dipstick,

I read your column to my partner, as not only do I have to go to Iraq for as long as the Army determines, we have to live in different states. This is hard enough and the column did set me off. She agreed with my comments. I am not by any means naive about anything, I just take the military serious and don't want some of the readers to think that it is a bunch of laughs.

I happen to be a licensed clinical social worker and I know exactly what you and your counterpart were attempting to do. But you could have written it differently. I knew it was about cheating.

Like I said, I did not mean it to be personal, just be careful. Your column happens to be one of my favorite parts of the magazine. But, I wrote Flo and told her to send it to my partner as I should not get it in Iraq. I will pick it back up when I come home.

Thank you for writing back. When I get to retire and put the uniform down knowing I don't have to be put out due to the don't ask don't tell you will probably see me out there taking up the "family" causes. Just remember us over there each doing our job so we can have magazines like this and to be able to have the freedoms we do.

Thanks for returning my email.

Army Woman

Britney's the "Bomb"

And she blew up all over the crowda at the MTV Video Music Awards last night. Okay, if you haven’t seen herperformance, watch it below and then read on...




Unlike most people today, I, for one, feel horribly sorry for Britney Spears. She really needed this performance to be a ringer, and, as you can see, she missed the horseshoe pit altogether. Not only did she forget how to lip-sync, but she also looks like she’s in a drug-induced stupor up there doing half-assed dance moves. Also unlike most people on the internet today, who claim Britney is out of shape and [gasp!] fat, I thought the only good thing about her performance was her hot body. To say she looked out of shape is a travesty. The meat on her bones looked awesome, don’t ya think?

Ellen’s gayest year ever!

Have you been watching the Ellen show? Can you believe how gay she is?

Earlier this week she had Hillary Clinton on. Last time Hillary was on Ellen she didn’t talk politics at all. This time Ellen went straight at Hillary. She questioned why she was against gay marriage. I was so impressed. Go Ellen!

Then Friday, she said the word gay more times than she has in her five years on TV. “Gay, gay, gay.” That was all she could say. She was talking about Senator Craig and how he was caught soliciting sex in a bathroom. “He’s so not gay,” Ellen said. “I’m gay, he’s not gay.” “Gay, gay, gay.”

I guess now that Rosie’s off the air, Ellen figured someone had represent on mainstream TV. Who would you rather have representing you? Ellen or Rosie? Comments below...

Funny Funny Funny

Suzanne Westenhoefer is a comical genius. Dipstick and I are working with her on a project (she's also VERY generous!) and we spent a couple hours with her this past weekend laughing and ironing out our humorous shtick. It's almost as if she has something funny to say about absolutely everything. And they're not dumb turns of phrases or roll-your-eyes comebacks like your uncle at Christmas, this woman is a purebred comic.

Over the weekend, we got to see her perform to a crowd, too, which is why she was in town. If you've never seen her, you must. A tease below...

Three Sisters on the Road

Ah, family. You love ‘em one minute and the next you’re ready to leave them by the side of the road and drive off. At least that’s what happened to me. My two sisters came to visit and to celebrate, we went to Three Sisters, Oregon. For those of you not from the Northwest, it’s part of the Cascade Mountain Range.

We had a few vague ideas of what we wanted to do in Sisters, but the big one was the “scenic drive loop.” My sister Mary had it all mapped out, with especially promising scenics highlighted and circled. Hike at Proxy Falls, lunch at Suttle Lake, and a sunset stop at the Three Sisters viewpoint.

Sandwiches and trail mix packed, we stopped at the ranger station on the way out of town to see if there was a hiking map we hadn’t yet picked up. That’s when we found out part of the road was closed. No scenic loop drive! We were devastated. I wanted to pack it all up and head right home, but Mary, glass half-full kind of girl that she is, insisted we could drive as far as the road closed sign and turn around and come back the same way.

I agreed, but ate my sandwich early to suppress my feelings of disappointment. Things were going along great. Beautiful views, great music on the stereo and wide open roads. We hiked at the falls, met a cute couple at Suttle Lake and even snuck into the hot springs resort and put or feet in the warm, healing waters. But then the road ended. The only thing that was missing from our day was that perfect viewpoint of the Three Sisters Mountains, where we could pose for the photo to send our parents.

Dejected, we headed back the same way we came and ate mediocre burgers at Bronco Billy’s. (They promised the best in Oregon, but obviously the voters have never eaten at Higgin’s bar in Portland.) Over dinner, we pulled the maps out, trying to determine the best place to for our photo. As Mary and I poured over the topographical map and played with her GPS system, Laura announced that she had found it. The road to the lookout point.

Early the next morning we headed out, carefully following the directions Laura dictated from the back seat. Out Route 20, left at the post office and keep driving. And driving and driving. As we first headed down the road, the mountains came into view. We felt assured a pull-off would appear and we’d hop out, snap our photo and continue on our merry way.


But 20 miles down the road, as we headed deeper and deeper into the forest, with no turn-out in sight and the mountains obscured by the thickening woods, I finally asked Laura to let me see the map.

The map she handed me wasn’t a real map at all. It was one of those free things you pick up in the grocery store of tourist towns, with ads all along the border and a few restaurants and art galleries drawn in. “Where’s the lookout?” I asked her. She pointed to a line on the map. A line that meandered toward a cartoonish drawing of the mountains and just ended. “Where’s the lookout?” I repeated, not seeing it on the “map.” “I just assumed if we went to the end of this road, there’d be a good viewpoint,” she said. Obviously my sister has little experience on forest service mountain roads and map reading. Mary and I just groaned, I turned the car around as Mary tried to explain to my older sister that a line ending on a free tourist map doesn’t necessarily mean the road ends and even if it does, doesn’t mean the mountains will appear unobstructed in front of us like they appear on the “map.”

The day wasn’t a total disaster, though. As we headed east toward Bend, back 20 miles to where we started and just a few miles down the road, we saw it. A beautiful view of the Three Sisters Mountains. I pulled to the shoulder of the road and we snapped this picture. And I didn’t even leave my sister by the side of the road.

Question:: Labor Day Career Advice

Dear Lipstick & Dipstick:
I been in school for nearly six years and it feels like forever. I already have a degree, but I’m back in school pursuing other interests. Utilizing my Public Affairs degree, how do I nail down something that will keep me happy while I figure out what I want to do?
Student of Life

Lipstick: Hell if I know. Why not peddle houses like many gay men I know? Or become a school teacher like every other lesbo in America? It’s no wonder they say that Generation Next is a liberal hotbed of wisdom and social justice and that being gay will be a no-brainer in future decades—they’ve all been taught by a bunch of homos. The irony. I doubt Dubya would be doling out any A’s to schools if he knew the truth: lunchtime looks more like a lesbian bar than a educators in a break room—the two hets at one table and the rest of the teachers huddled together telling queer jokes and betting on how many baby dykes are in their homeroom.

Dipstick: Public Affairs? Is that where you study the lives of famous people who cheat on their wives? No wonder you love school. I think with all the knowledge you’ve gained in your studies, you could probably write a book or two about those famous people and the women who love them. You may even get rich and famous yourself and have some affairs of your own. Now, that sounds like a fulfilling career! Seriously though, Dipstick has found that most people who’re truly happy are the ones with well-rounded lives. They enjoy not just their careers, but their home and family life. They have exciting hobbies like windsurfing and knitting to keep them stimulated. So, no matter what job you end in, make sure you keep the rest of your life interesting and you’ll be happy for many years.

For All of You Still In the Closet

A little inspiration.

Meet Loraine Barr.

And read her essay: "The Love That Will Finally Speak Its Name"

This woman, an 88-year-old retired school teacher and probation officer (so gay), lived in the closet for 44 years with her lover, who died 9 years ago.

Here's a great article about her story.

Don't let your life slip away. Be strong and be proud. Stand in the truth of who you are!