Dipstick and I are coming to town! We will be whooping it up on Saturday night at Neighbors in Seattle for Hot Flash. At the dance, we will be doing a short, animated reading, signing books and dancing and drinking the night away.
There will be a short performance by Hot Flash's own Queen Bee and her Lovely but Useless Honeypots, too! You won't want to miss it.
I just returned from the gym. I’ve got a crazy week with deadlines, interviews and book readings, but still I made the time today to get in a quick hour workout.
It helps keep me sane and healthy. I’m not getting any younger and I’ve got to get the body ready for Dinah Shore. Plus I do love Girl Scout cookies and every ten minutes on the treadmill earns me a cookie. How about you ladies? I just read a study that lesbians are less healthy than the average woman. We drink more, smoke more are more overweight and have more stress in our lives.
Life can get crazy, but remember to put yourself first. My inspiration is Hillary Clinton. I read that she makes time to workout every day. I figure if the busiest woman in America can make time to workout, so can I.
Portland Peeps, come out and support one of our own! The homolicious Sam Adams will be hosting an event to drum up additional support for his bid for mayor. It's tomorrow night and here are the details:
If I were a gay man, I think Sam is the kind of guy I'd have pinned up on my wall or over my bed. He's so dreamy. Kind of like Mayor Gavin Newsome of San Francisco. *sigh*
Mark your calendars, ladies, and, if you don't live in San Fran, book your flights. Lipstick & Dipstick are going to be emceeing CURVE's upcoming issue release party on March 28th. The party will be at Hotel Kabuki and is sure to be off the hook. It's starts a 9pm and we'll be dancing until 1am. Beyond emceeing, Dipstick and I will also be signing our book and having a good 'ole time, too.
CURVE's cover girl this month--Dani Campbell--is from MTV's "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila" and will be signing her issue and maybe--if you're lucky--bumpin' and grindin' on the dance floor. (Dip, you should wear you hair like Dani!)
Also making an appearance is San Francisco's own Pin Up Girls, the sexy burlesque troup that is sure to blow your socks off. So you can get your mojo on, there will be drink specials and great dance music.
Come play with us.
DETAILS March 28th 9pm-1am Hotel Kabuki (1625 Post Street) Tickets just went on sale. Get them here. 18+
Ashleigh rocked the house last night at Doug Fir, where she and her band, Killdeer, celebrated the release of their new album, American Dream. Her album is getting amazing reviews.
"Hailed 'the darling of the NW Americana scene,' by NYC's Village Voice, Ashleigh Flynn, Oregon-by-way-of-Kentucky, presents her third studio album, American Dream - soul stirring songs of down-and-outers all still hopeful for the American Dream." For info about Ash or to buy her album, go to: ashleighflynn.net
This just in: a lovely man named Nathanial Christopher filmed this clip of Dipstick and I doing our reading at the Solarice Spa in Whistler, BC earlier this month. He just uploaded it to YouTube and we thought we'd share it with you.
Do you remember what you did on your 13th birthday? I think that was the year I finally talked my parents into taking me horseback riding. We drove to a stable in a tourist community in upstate New York and my sister and two brothers bounced on a hour long ride in the woods behind their farm. I was sucking a tootsie pop the whole time.
For our birthday, my Mom let us eat whatever we wanted for dinner. I always picked sweet & sour pork with German Chocolate cake for desert. Today is my dog’s 13th birthday. So she got to eat her favorite meal: cooked chicken with tuna juice. Then we took her to her favorite doggy beach. What more could a 13 year old want than a few sips from the river, chewing on a good stick and chance to nudge between her mommy’s legs. A child of 13 has her whole life ahead of her. For a dog, every day past 12 is a blessing. I am blessed to have spent one more lovely day with my girl Juneau.
Last night Lipstick and I had a lovely first date with Caron. Caron had the winning bet on the Portland Mercury’s “Win a Date with Lipstick & Dipstick” auction in December.
We met her at Zaytoon’s and splurged on hummus, zataar and laban, yummy Lebanese food. Although Caron claimed she didn’t need any advice--come on, all lesbians need advice, even if it’s just on their wardrobe, we didn’t push. It was our first date afterall.
But we did learn a few fun facts about Caron. She met her girlfriend at the lesbian bar, is starting a new career as a pawnbroker, (Not prawn broker) and is an incredible portrait photographer.
I think we liked Caron enough to ask her out on a second date. What fun! Thank you Portland Mercury.
Our dear friend/folk star, Ashleigh Flynn, is having her CD Release Party at Doug Fir this Friday. Tickets are already on sale and rumor has it, they're getting close to being sold out. Buy your tickets HERE.
She'll be performing songs from her new album, American Dream, with her all star band Killdeer. Susie Blue will also be performing and it's sure to be a great night of music. Come on out and celebrate with us! DETAILS Friday, February 22 Doug Fir Lounge 8pm $12 Ashligh Flynn's MySpace
Today was a busy day. This morning, a dear friend/amazingly talented writer--Shanna Germain--and I sat down in a recording studio to have a "conversation" on tape about the writing life. Jeff Selin with Portland's Writer's Dojo graciously asked us to pour out on tape what we regularly pour out over cocktails.
While our strategies for success are very similar (set specific goals and work like hell with intention to reach them), our creative process is surprisingly different. Hers is about getting it down thoughtfully once; mine is about writing it five hundred times, and then rewriting it again. She lays no tracks; I meticulously plan, but allow my characters to do as they will. For me, in the interview, we talked about lifting Lipstick off the page, as well as my process in writing my novel/screenplay. And how the hell I figured out I was a writer in the first place. (I'll give you a clue: it involved sex.)
The interview will soon be on the Writer's Dojo website, as well various other outlets. Stay tuned and I'll let you know when it's live.
In the meantime, I'll leave you with one of Shanna's poems. For you Portlander's, she'll be reading her piece from Best Lesbian Erotica 2008 at Powell's next month. Will keep you in the loop on that date, as she's quite the literary rockstar.
Fire Escapeby Shanna Germain
After a burn, everything tastes like salt and ash. In the fire-station bathroom, one lover is the same as another to skin cross-hatched by heat.
Wild and willing as dogs uncaged, our tongues lick cool liquid wherever they find it: rivulets beneath chin-bones, tributaries that trickle between seams.
Forgetting leaves no time to undress, only for living and this cool-tiled denial of the way we enter flames willingly, nearly protected.
Yes, we've been here before, the way I melt over the sink, offer my salt-sea skin to suck as though I hope it might nourish or quench.
Tomorrow, the fire will make the paper, news and near-rescues to be read over coffee and then pushed away, with a grateful
shove and shudder. Everything could go this quick: A door opening on flames, that first step inside, the long low moans that say someone here is nearly alive.
Don't you hate it when you realize that life has totally taken over your life? Work, obligations, lists of things to do, etc. Well, we woke up Sunday morning and decided to reconnect with nature in the Columbia River Gorge. For those of you who've never been to or heard of the Gorge, the overwhelmingly beautiful corridor runs along the Oregon/Washington border. The magnificent Columbia River continues to cut through the mountains on its way to the ocean.
We hiked the Triple Falls Trail and, while I'm a regular runner and exerciser, my hips and calves are giving me a shout out this morning. I can't quite tell if they're thanking or cursing me. As the day progresses, I'll know.
We snapped this pic along the Oneata creek with one of her falls in the background. If you haven't connected with nature in a while, go surround yourself with ferns, with moss, with animals that you personally aren't feeding and grass you don't have to mow.
It was four years ago that Tiger and I stood in line for hours to get married in San Francisco. To this day, that was one of the most amazing experiences in my life. It felt so amazing to not only be marrying my partner of more than 10 years, but to caught up in the whirlwind of making of history.
We heard about the marriages in San Francisco on Friday and by Saturday we were on a plane and married on Sunday. It seemed the whole city of San Francisco came out to celebrate our union. You can read about that day here.
Such was not the case on Friday, when we went to the County Building to register as domestic partners. We went with our friends Pam & Vicky to make it more festive. We stood in line with the others out to pay their taxes or request a zoning license. A few other lesbian couples were in line, as well as some straight couples filing for marriage licenses. We paid our $60 and then $7.95 for the certified copy because we might need it one day to access a hospital room. It’s all part of what Pam calls, “The gay tax.” We have to pay and pay just to get a fraction of the rights straights do. There was no hoopla. No champagne toast. Not even a “You may kiss the bride.” Am I glad we have the rights? Yes. Do I feel like a second class citizen, not being allowed to marry? Yes. Will I continue to fight for full marriage equality? Yes. But for now, I’ll take the crumbs, because unfortunately, someday we may need them.
Last night, Texas took me to the Air Supply concert and omg, they were fucking amazing! Like so many other thirty-somethings, their music takes me back to places (most of which, fortunately, I want to go) that are quite the trip. The tiny video I took totally blows (I forgot to take my camera, but I shot this on my Treo, which--note to self--has horrible video capabilities), but thought I'd post it anyway. The soft rock duo, who I always thought was gay (they are SO hetero it was shocking!) was hilarious. Graham Russell is this commandingly funny Brit, who is the big jokester and towers over his writing partner. His very short sidekick, Russell Hitchcock, is, no doubt, the bastard child of Bea Aurthur and Dudley Moore. DEAD RINGER. I got to shake Russell's hand and that was fun. They sang all their old classics like: Making Love Out of Nothing at All, Here I Am, Every Woman in the World, Two Less Lonely People in the World, Lost in Love and All Out of Love. I put their vintage music video on the bottom for kicks. Enjoy.
I was asked by Curve magazine to interview Ilene Chaiken today. Ilene Chaiken created our favorite TV show, The L Word. While doing internet research, I found this funny video. I sure hope she's not as self-important as they make her out to be!
I’ve recently realized that I’m bisexual, but I'm not sure how to make my first move on Liza, a woman I have a crush on.Most people in my life think I’m straight because I’ve always dated guys.I don't want to make a big deal, I just want to start dating a woman and people will get the picture.So, how do I suavely let this woman know I’m bisexual?How do I let her know I’m genuinely interested?I try to flirt, but I'm not sure it’s clear because we’re friends and I’m flirtatious with everyone. Should I make the move?I'm confused.We get along really well and I respect her, plus I am extremely sexually attracted to her.Help! Bewitched, Bewildered & Bi
Dipstick: How to pick up women 101.Start small.Tell her you’ve been thinking about her, you saw something she’d look sexy in (or out of).Bring her little gifts like a muffin from her favorite bakery.No flowers or candy yet. Compliment her outfit or hair.Every gal loves to hear she looks good!Touch her when you’re talking.Gently put your hand on her shoulder or if you’re bold, her thigh.See how she reacts.Does she pull away or get closer?Send her an email saying how much you enjoyed your time together and ask her if she wants to do it again.When she says yes, get her nice and drunk and take advantage of her.
Lipstick: Forget starting with subtleties and move in right away! Liza wants you to want her, B3. If you’re feeling any love at all from this woman, then odds are she’s interested, but hasn’t considered making a pass because, BINGO, she thinks you’re straight! If Liza’s read any of our past columns, she knows better than to go for the hetero—that’s a homo-no-no. By you coming on to Liza, a woman that’s a branded scissor kisser, you have far less to lose than her brazenly hitting on you. Think about it. All you have to face is mild rejection. What she’s facing is a catastrophic dating-faux pas. Ask her out, Newbie, and then there’ll be no more confusion!
My gay boyfriend Jonathan is really a lesbian. He’s a therapist, is in a monogamous relationship (and even complained to me once of lesbian bed death) and he loves lesbian music. I won’t tell you about the night we waited in the rain for hours for the Indigo Girls to come out to their tour bus. But I will tell you about his FAVORITE singer of all time. (Well, maybe behind Justin Timberlake, he is a little gay..) Garrison Starr.
Jonathan first saw Garrison Starr when she opened for Melissa Etheridge. Yeah, I saw her there too and I had to agree with Jonathan she is pretty darn cute and pretty darn talented. So when he heard she was coming to town, he practically jumped out of his chair when I said I would go with him. He was dying to hear her new album, but held off buying it so he could get her to sign it at the concert. She played at a Borders bookstore, which was kind of weird, after seeing her perform with Melissa Etheridge and Melissa Ferrick. Especially when people walked right up behind her to browse the DVD selections.
But we had a great time. She's so talented. Way too big for a downtown bookstore. But, Jonathan got his CD autographed and got to fawn over her a little. The Starr is quite a singer/songwriter. Check out this video of hers, directed by none other than Margaret Cho.
Dipstick and I had a great time last night at our official book release party. Thanks to all who came, laughed and particpated. A very warm thank you to our friend and beloved folk singer, Ashleigh Flynn, who performed amazingly to the crowd before we went on stage with the Rose City Sirens and worked the hell out of our book. We heart you Ash. And we heart you Sirens!
For me, the highlight may have been when Sterling (aka Delilia Sin) wrapped her bra around my neck on stage in only her black panties and pasties. Wish I had a picture of that! And I'm sure you do, too. Also, when I was crammed into the photo booth with Delila Sin + Savvy Danger (two lezzies from the burlesque troupe - see photo). More photos to come from our photographer, Maggie Parker (who is single, fyi; you can find her contact info on our website: lipstickdipstick.com) sends them over.
The top photo is of Dip and I with our stellar manager, Tina Hoogs, who not only gets us great gigs, but also is a wonderful friend. And she hits a mean tennis ball. The bitch beat me last time we played (barely) and we're toying with the idea of entering the Gay Games (Cologne 2010) as doubles partners. Can you say cute little tennis skirts?
Come and hang out with us on February 10th at Pop Tart. Lipstick & Dipstick are hosting a pre-party from 5 to 7pm to celebrate the release of our new book the "Essential Guide to Lesbian Relationships." We will have readings from the book with interpretive assistance from the Rose City Sirens, Portland's own all lesbian burlesque troop.
Doors open at 5. Ashleigh Flynn plays at 5:30 and Lipstick & Dipstick entertain at 6. Stick around to get a signed copy of our book and to boogie the night away with DJ Rickie Leigh from Seattle and Mr. Charming.
Come early because the first 100 people get in for free.
#10 The *free* travel carts at the airport to lug your baggage (Americans are nickled and dimed) #9 Free wireless at the airport (the only other airport where I've seen this is PDX) #8 The hybrid taxi cabs (duh! It's a great place to start with lowering carbon emissions) #7 Winter Pride! And the committee who voted to bring us out! #6 The sea to sky drive up to Whistler on a sunny day #5 Whistler village (can you say damn romantic?) #4 You can be out in the military (Ingrid and Dawn were two shining examples of this) #3 Drinks at Vancouver's Pumpjack with Mette Bach, another national columnist who we adore #2 Patty Cake, Patty Cake and our little burrowing owl at the Fairmont Chateau #1 We can get married!
Um, I just left Texas a message to sell the house, catch the cats and get here with our stuff immediately. I couldn't love this town any more. What an amazing adventure Whistler has been for the last few days, full of wonderfully exciting (and surprising) sights and people. This picture to the right was something I happened upon when I was skiing down my last run yesterday. Only in Whistler would you just ski past two homos playing with a huge rainbow flag in freezing temperatures.
The people I met this week have left an indelible impression, specifically Ingrid + Alex from Whistler, Mak, Cindy, Kath, Amy + Lisa from Whistler, Cheri + Carol from Seattle, Diane + Karen from Bainbridge Island (see you soon!), Missy Giove + her girl Salina, Jana + Winkie from Alabama (see pic of Lipstick in a "Bamawich" below) , Dawn + Crystal, Lynn + Heather from Boston, and my biatch Patty (as well as those that amused and tormented us at the Fairmont lobby bar). Many of those mentioned are pictured here. Day three was the best day. In the morning, I skied with Ingrid + Alex and a gaggle of lesbians before lunch. Ingrid (pictured in blue coat) is a ski instructor at Whistler and took me on a wild adventure through the trees....only, she didn't mean for me to follow. Lipstick had no business in such deep snow or on such a cliff. The picture to the left is actually me stuck in the snow during that little wooded adventure. Notice you can't see my skis...they're buried so deep I had to dig them out before I could get going again. (Note to self: snow in panties sucks.)
After a big dyke lunch at the top of the mountain (see photo), I hit the slopes solo. Just me and my iPod and the powder. I filmed this little video on my way down to the jacuzzi.
After melting into a puddle, I pulled myself together and headed to the daily "Apres" (see photos). Good times for sure during the afternoon happy hours when we gather to laugh at our falls, plan our nights and (for those who are single) cruise for a date.
My new favorite friend, Patty, and I got into trouble at the Fairmont Chateau Whistler later that evening, when we stopped in for "a drink" and ended up closing the place down. (Note to self: high altitude makes me crazy and uninhibited. Oh yeah, and when a drunk guy at the bar is hitting on you, telling him you're a lesbian is *not* always the smartest way to get rid of him.)
I could really go on and on, but I'll just say it was a wonderful whirlwind, full of delicious discovery, lots of laughter and a bit of sadness now that I'm leaving.
Goodbye Whistler, until next time. And trust me, there definitely will be a next time.
After an amazing day in Vancouver, Lipstick and I woke up at the crack of something to try and beat the weather and get our car back before we were charged for an extra day. Lipstick did a stellar job driving up the mountain in a blinding snowstorm. The Melissa Etheridge soundtrack helped.
The snow was beautiful, falling in big feathery flakes. While Lipstick strapped on her skis and bounded through moguls and mounds, I took a beautiful hike through the woods. (See pictures.)
We met up for the Women's Apres, which doesn't mean happy hour, Lipstick, it means "after" as in "after skiing, we all meet at the bar and get drunk." Oh, I guess it does mean happy hour. There we met some fun women, like Lee Ann from Portland who is a lawyer/basketball player and Dawn from BC who is in the airforce and flies jets and helicopters. Missy Giove showed up with her lovely wife Selena and bought us all a round of drinks.
Finally it was on to the main event. The reason we came to Whistler in the first place, our reading/performance at Solarice Spa, owned by adorable couple Lisa and Amy, lesbian moms from Whistler. Ingrid and Alex, Winter Pride volunteers, were the perfect hosts.
Lipstick and I read a bit from our book, elicited a few laughs and didn't realize how competitive these Canadian women are. It turned into an all out war between Alex and Diane in the lesbian trivia contest. We took questions from the audience, even solving one woman's problem with a straight co-worker who is in love with her. (Stop sleeping with her might be the first step-- straight women just can't resist lesbian loving.)
Poor Lipstick, if she is asked one more time by a lesbian if she is really a dyke, I think she'll crack. Unfortunately we don't have any photos of the event, so you'll just have to come next year and see us. We sure hope we get invited back!
Dipstick and I arrived on Sunday night here in Whistler and it's absolutely gorgeous! After watching the fourth quarter of the Super Bowl and drinking a couple "sleeves" of beer, we headed to the Winter Pride Welcome Party reception, where we hung out with old-chum-daredevil Missy Giove, who's here to lead brave women on skiing adventures. Lipstick wrote a cover feature on Missy years ago for Girlfriends magazine (see photo).
The next morning, Dip and I got up early and hit the road again. We rented a dyke mobile and headed down to Vancouver (2.5 hours) for a TV interview at Shaw TV. The show was called Urban Rush and we spent the early afternoon at their studios. We don't yet have a copy of the interview, but we were able to video it in our hotel room later that afternoon when it first aired. The quality is crappy, but you get the idea. The hosts--Micheal Eckford and Fiona Forbes--were fun and fabulous (see photo). The video is at the bottom of this blog.
Later that night, after we cruised Robson and Davies Street, we headed to Little Sisters Bookstore where we did a reading. About 15 dykes showed up. (thanks ladies!!). Sarah and Barb were brave enough to volunteer (well, Barb didn't volunteer, she was recruited) for our Lesbian IQ Quiz and they both did pretty well. After the reading, we had drinks with Mette Bach, a fellow columnist who we used to write side-by-side with when our column was nationally syndicated. She was charming and delightful as we ate peanuts and drank Canadian beer.
We just arrived back at Whistler and I'm headed to the slopes right now! Thank you Winter Pride for inviting us out to Whistler! We love it here.
Portland is weird in a lot of ways, but one of the strangest is the weather. It can be raining where I live, but less than three miles away, up in the West Hills, it will be snowing.
So, when I woke up Saturday morning to a rain/snow mix, I knew what I had to do. I've got two snow dogs--Alaskan malamutes and they love the snow. But one is pretty old and she can't tolerate the long drive up to the mountain anymore. So, we put her coat on her (She's losing her fur), loaded up the SUV and headed to the west hills.
By the time we crossed the river, it was snowing/raining pretty hard. As we wove our way up the steep neighborhood hills, the roads became slicker. We passed a few cars off in the ditch. Unfazed, we continued upward.
Up ahead a big truck was in the ditch and we had to turn around and head up a steep, snowy side road. Thank the goddess for four-wheel drive. It was slippery, but we made it to our destination. A big cemetery at the top of the hill.
It was all worth it, when we opened up the back of the truck and 13 year old, 120 pound Juneau bounded out and acted like she was five again. After an hour of playing, she limped back to the car and slept the rest of the day, with a big smile on her face.
I went to this rally on Wednesday night. I stood in the rain with two thousand others because we got fucked. Domestic partnerships that should have gone into effect on January 1st were railroaded by a right wing extremist group.
See this is how it works. Our state legislature did a great thing. Earlier this year, they passed a law allowing gay and lesbian couples to register as domestic partners and obtain some of the rights married straight people get.
But the right-wingers couldn’t let it lie. So, they set out to gather signatures to put the issue on the ballot. Even though our elected officials passed a law, they were basically trying to repeal it by putting it up for popular vote. But, it turns out, most Oregonians believe in fairness. The losers couldn't even get enough signatures to put it up for vote. A handful of signatures were considered invalid and thrown out, which left them short of what they needed to qualify to be on the ballot.
Good news for us, right? Yes, until an out of state anti-gay group stepped in and challenged the signature validation process. So, a federal judge issued an injunction in late December. The commitment ceremonies that were to have taken place on January 1st were put off. Stay with me here. Well today, that same judge ruled what we knew to be true all along. That they antis didn’t have enough signatures.
What this means is gay and lesbian couples all over the state of Oregon can head to their county court houses on Monday morning and file for domestic partnerships. Woo Hoo!
Unfortunately, I’ll be in Canada on Monday for Winter Pride, but when I get back, I’ll be heading to the courthouse with my wife (For the third time. We’ve already gone once for county domestic partnership, once for marriage and now for state wide domestic partnership.)
Here are some pictures from Wednesday’s rally. Like a bad journalist, I forgot my camera. So you have to put up with these cell phone images.
A measured blend of guidance, wit and sincerity from the femme and the butch perspective, Lipstick & Dipstick is a punchy advice column in CURVE Magazine, the nation's best-selling lesbian magazine.
"Finally! What we've been missing from Oprah and Dr Phil!! Lip and Dip bring unflinching truth to gay gals who are in, near or want a relationship. And they drench it all with great gobs of humor. Irresistible."
Honey Labrador said:
"Get ready to learn all you ever wanted to know (and more that you never wanted to know) about that girl you are SURE is 'the one' in Lipstick & Dipstick's Essential Guide to Lesbian Relationships. A real page turner and eye opener...but most of all, with a sense of humor! If we can't laugh at ourselves ladies, than who will? Thanks for the insights...better late than never!"
Diane Anderson-Minshall said:
"Move over Dan Savage and out of the way Ann Landers. There's a new guru in town (two of them!) and they're dishing out sexy, saucy, ribald and totally irreverent advice for girls who can't say no, aren't in the know, or are still on the down low. Lipstick & Dipstick's Essential Guide to Lesbian Relationships from Alyson Books tackles everything from titillating first dates to vengeful ex lovers, bisexual babes, and the top five wedding no-nos (only a couple of dykes would put strippers and Styrofoam on the same list). Want to know when to take the plunge? Dipstick's quiz will have you down on your knees or running for cover. Does your girlfriend talk to her softball coach 17 times a day? Apparently Lipstick knows just the answer. Though you may disagree with the sometimes incisive, sometimes flippant recommendations-heck, they disagree with each other-you can bet that what you're reading is a well tested, hard-to-find, how-to guide to life as a lesbian in the '00s. No lesbian should be without it."
Dipstick and I are coming to town! We will be whooping it up on Saturday night at Neighbors in Seattle for Hot Flash. At the dance, we will be doing a short, animated reading, signing books and dancing and drinking the night away.
