Del Martin: A Hero for All Lesbians

There's a newspaper clipping on my refrigerator of the first day same-sex marriage became legal in California. It's a picture of Del Martin facing her partner of 55 years, Phyllis Lyon.  After 55 years of a marriage, the two were finally granted that title by the California government. 

Yesterday Del Martin died at age 87. She left behind, not only a widow, but a legacy of fighting for lesbian rights at a time when to do so came at great risk. 

Del Martin may well be remembered for her marriage to her partner of 55 years. And that's not a bad thing. But what I will remember Del for is her early work for women's and lesbian rights. Del and Phyllis were part of a group of women who formed Daughters of Bilitis, the first lesbian organization in the United States in 1955. 

They started the first lesbian publication called The Ladder, which was a lifeline to lesbians in the 1950s who literally thought they were the only ones. She fought for lesbian rights in the women's movement and for women's rights in the gay movement. She and Lyon wrote the groundbreaking book Lesbian/Woman in 1972 about the need for lesbian rights. She also wrote Battered Woman about domestic violence.

Del Martin was the first openly lesbian woman to be elected to a post within the National Organization for Women in 1967. And of course, she and Phyllis were the first same-sex couple to marry in California in both 2004 and in 2008. I can only aspire to leave a fraction of the legacy she leaves behind.

Thank you Del Martin, for paving the path that I walk on today. You are my hero.

• More about Del Martin
  
• More about Del and Phyllis' Relationship and Accomplishments for the Lesbian Community

She's Still The Only One

I saw Melissa Etheridge over the weekend in one of those great old ornate theaters that every city used to have. I was reminded of the first time I saw Melissa in concert in Utica, NY. It must have been 1988. Her first album had just come out, but she wasn't yet.  Still, we were sure she was a dyke. 

We passed the binoculars back and forth, convinced that one of those necklaces dangling between her breasts was a labyris.  (It probably was!) She was young and energetic and she rocked for three hours straight. She never held still long enough for us to really tell.

Well, the girl may have aged, but she sure hasn't slowed down. Melissa Etheridge still puts on quite a show. Again she played for over three hours, this time taking us on the journey that is her life, from the farm girl in Kansas, coming out in Boston, heading to Hollywood, her early open tumultuous relationships, falling in love with a straight woman, breaking up, finding love again, getting cancer and finally finding peace. She played many of her old favorites, plus a few from the new album. 

Cameras weren't allowed, but I snuck mine in anyway. The video didn't turn out so good, but here's a sample. 

Report from Beijing

My friend JP is in Beijing working at the Olympics. She sent me this report:

The city is much different then I expected and even better then I thought it would be. I will say all of it is better then Athens was in 04. I am able to read the Lipstick & Dipstick blog here, I had heard anything with blog would be blocked but you are readable in China! They are being more lenient on the online stuff since the international press complained.


Beijing isn’t what I expected. I expected people everywhere, crowds everywhere you walk and it isn’t that way. There are areas where things are more crowded but it’s so spread out, that it isn’t as bad as I thought it would be.

My first experience at Olympic Green was not the best. There were not any signs in English, we didn’t know what entry we were going through, what venues we would find and since there are 3-4 at each complex we really didn’t know where we were going. None of the volunteers seemed to speak English, the little they did, they just kept pointing us down the road, and we had no idea we had to walk the entire complex and cross a bridge and enter a new complex to get to the Water polo venue. Oh and it was pouring rain that day. But we did make it.

I think it’s amazing that so many countries travel to the games and support their country. My friend Roz and I went to Men’s Water Polo and saw Hungry vs Montenegro. We found ourselves sitting in the middle of a huge group of Hungarians, all with flags, painted faces, horns, signs, everything you could imagine. They all knew every player’s name, chanted, screamed, yelled, it was very entertaining.
I’ve also seen swimming, but it was just a qualifier. We sat so high, I couldn’t get any good pictures. The Cube is amazing from the outside and incredible to watch at night, with the lights. I’ve been lucky enough to be up there two nights in a row. The inside isn’t that impressive, there is a neat hall between the venue and the practice pool and you can stand up there and watch all the athletes warm up and practice. Each country has its own area with massage tables, tv’s, etc. The US is under the bridge so we can’t see them. I did get to see some swimmers out there talking to family members, none I recognized.

At night up at Olympic Green, the Cube is going with its constant change of colors and the Nest is across the way and it’s all a glow in red, with the torch and the moon it is an amazing site.

We also saw diving 3m springboard qualifier which was great. We had great seats, sat behind the judges in row two and were on tv the whole time. Had it been the actual event, you could have seen us.

We also got to catch the end of the Today show and met Meredith, Ann, Matt and Al.

Yesterday we went down to the Velodrome and it was so much fun. So far they win the award for the nicest venue and best staff. It’s a bit out of town and at the end of a subway stop so a bit of a ride to get there. The winner was this woman Rebecca Romero and she became the first British woman to win two medals in two different sports. In Athens she won a silver in rowing, she returned, switched sports and won the gold, it was awesome.

Anyway, the event was fun as every seat is great, every staff member said hello, welcome, have fun and when we left they all stood in a line and clapped and said thanks for coming. Anyway, the one thing I will say is Beijing and China is very proud to be hosting these games, they feel it is their welcome party to the world.

The people here are nice, I have not had any bad experiences or anything that I would consider to be any different then the US. They do have a few customs that are a bit different, like kids wear split pants and no diapers, so when you have to go, you just go. I joke that not only do they take the dogs out in the morning, they also take the kids. Then the squat toilet is a bit of a hassle, I’ve used them a couple times but you can usually find a western toilet in the hotels or major restaurants.

People’s fashion sense here is hysterical, the men will wear plaid shorts and striped shirts and then crocs. Crocs are big here and the women wear like nude nylons with sandals.

The food has been much better then I expected. We live in an area full of embassies, so there is a German place, a great Thai place, Italian, Chinese, Mexican, everything you could want, oh yes and a Irish pub downstairs. I have enjoyed the Chinese food, you just make sure you are going to a good place. It is usually family style, everyone orders a bunch of stuff, you use your chopsticks and eat, just pulling from the dishes, etc.

There is one great place that has some awesome tofu, it’s the Bellagio and every server has the same haircut. It’s all girls and it’s short and it’s a requirement to have the haircut to work there. It is considered one of the nicer places and the food there is good. Food is also more spicy here then I expected it to be, they like spice.

Photos by James from Miami

Arizona Posse Reunion III

Oh Lord, what a wild night we had here in Scottsdale, Arizona last night! After sun worshipping all day in the lazy river, we all got ready for dinner and hung out in our hotel suite, again laughing our asses off and having a blast reminiscing. Everyone here--save Lipstick--is a mom and three of them are actually currently pregnant. For educational purposes, of course, I got to watch one of them pump their breasts and was amazed at how the nipples looked in those little cups as they were being pulled like a cow's utter. Fascinating... and sort of a turn on. Photo coming soon.

All gussied up, we played CLR (a game that involves dice and dollar bills). I won big and the beaves showered me with money. Also see photo.

We headed out to dinner at Sol Y Sombra, a delicious Spanish tapas restaurant in DC Ranch. It was at dinner when all hell started to break loose after a day in the sun. Some bitter old man, who obviously hadn't been laid in years, complained about how loud we were being within the first five minutes of arriving at the restaurant. All we'd done was cheers our champagne glasses and let out a "yeah." We kind of thought he was kidding when he told us to shut up, but turns out, the dickhead wasn't. He had the manager move them to a table further away. All grown up, we proceeded to have a food fight, a rated X photoshoot and lots and lots of laughter.


The late night shenanigans I'll keep to myself, however, I will share the Scottsdale Police Department Rap Sheet down below. Be sure to click on the sheet so you can read the details.

We're all out of jail today and headed to the pool again to nap, but it was one hellova night!

Until next time...

Arizona Posse Reunion II

What a day... spent in sun with so much laughter. I started out the day with breakfast with an old friend of mine who I hadn't seen in eight years--Heather Bennett, now known as Heather Weber, who has an adorable almost-one-year-old.

I met my bitches at 10 AM in my suit and spent the entire day--well at least until 4pm--in the pool. Literally. It was so frickin' hot we had to stay in the water all day. I'm totally waterlogged but have a huge smile on my face.

The older I get, the more I realize how lucky I am to have such strong relationships with old friends, people who I've grown up with. We had such fun today catching up, being crazy and getting in trouble. All I'm going to say there was a beer bong involved, security and some uptight bitch. Enjoy the photos. Much more to come. We're headed out tonight and I'll be sure to chronicle the night's events. God help us.

I love my Beaves!

Arizona Posse Reunion I

Having a blast in Arizona already! I’m in Scottsdale (I grew up here) for the soon-to-be infamous Posse Reunion with my old friends. Some of these beavers I’ve known for over thirty years! That’s a very long time. Many of us went to Kindergarten or grade school together and the others, who I guess would be considered “new friends”, I met in junior high. And we’re still the very best of friends even though many miles separate some of us (me!).

After having breakfast with my ex-boyfriend from high school (seriously!), I picked up Gwen (brunette) from the airport. She flew in from Austin. Gwen and I stayed with Melanie, aka Melina (prego blondie), last night and had a blast. After lying by the pool all afternoon, we went to Sapporo for some tepanyaki and laid low in preparation for today.

Off to meet the beaves for a day at the pool (there is a lazy river where we’re staying) and a night of debauchery…

PS: It was 113 here yesterday! No joke.

Tay's Pays

Do you have a friend who is always getting their name pronounced wrong? Perhaps she’s named Alicia and people call her Aliza. Or the common mistake of Laura versus Lara. Sarah versus Sara. After being called Ray-mon for years, my friend Ramon added an “e” to the end of his name so people would say it right.

Well, my girlfriend has one of those names. She spells it Tay, but it’s pronounced Tie. People get her name right until they see it spelled and suddenly they start calling her a name that rhymes with “say.”

The other night Tay made me a delicious pie for my birthday. All of my friends agreed she could go into the pie business. And we came up with the perfect name. Tay’s Pays. Pronounced, of course, “Ties Pies.” Yum. Do we have our first customer?

Ellen + Portia's Wedding Album

The photos from Ellen and Portia's wedding will soon hit newsstands. They gave an exclusive interview to People magazine about their blessed event. New details are sure to emerge, too, and I just read that Wayne Dyer (one of my all-time favorite authors and inspirers) officiated the ceremony. Lucky girls and lucky him. Apparently, all the guests sat on floor pillows while the couple exchanged Neil Lane rings and then sat down for an all-vegan menu.

I'm sure there was hummus!

Ellen and Portia Get Married

Ding dong the witch is dead. Oh wait, I meant ding dong Ellen and Portia are married! In an intimate ceremony last night, attended by 19 lucky souls, the two exchanged handwritten vows in their home. I hope they share the pictures with the rest of the world. It will surely get massive mainstream coverage and, considering how beloved Ellen is by even the straightest of straights, it could only do our community good.

Here are Ellen's vows (as Lipstick’s would imagine them):

Portia, my beautiful sex goddess
Oh, how I love your tits
And your super funny bits
on that TV show Ally McDancing Baby
and then on that other show whose name is escaping me
I want to spend my life with you
Cooking and picking up our dogs do do
Having potlucks with Melissa and Tammy
And dressing up in diamonds for the Emmys
Will you be my ageless, blushing bride
And get on my Harley for a ride
So we can enjoy being the queen lesbians together
And always be two birds of a feather
Eating hummus and listening to folk tunes
As we lay in bed in a perfect spoon
For hours and hours and hours
And hours and hours and hours
Scratching each other’s backs and toes
While being the perfect pair of homos
Who all the lezbots adore and only the best
Will you join me in making the perfect lezz-nest?

Rumor has it, she said yes! CONGRATS ELLEN AND PORTIA!

* Photo is not from wedding, but courtesy of Reuters.

Tyson the Homosexual

I’m surprised this hasn’t been reported on by NBC during the Olympic coverage. It seems the American Family Association hates the word “gay” so much that whenever it appears in a news story, they change it “homosexual.”

Back when Tyson Gay won the Olympic trials at the end of June, The American Family Association’s website said “Tyson Homosexual” won the 100 meters in 9.68 seconds. According to The Advocate the news story read, “Wearing a royal blue uniform with red and white diagonal stripes across the front, along with matching shoes…Homosexual dominated the competition.”

Who are the real homosexuals in the Olympics? Here’s a list of out lesbian and bisexual athletes in the 2008 Beijing Games.

See What I Missed Out On: Cat Cora Lesbian Chef

Last Saturday my friends Dionne and Tracy invited me to come down with them to "The Bite of Portland," some event for people who are really into food and cooking and know what truffle-infused salt is and actually enjoy it. Dionne and Tracy are foodies. Whenever I'm at their house, the Food Network is playing on the TV and they're bouncing off each other's butts in the kitchen whipping up some simple enchilada dish or a 17 layer dip.

That's one of the reasons I love going to their house. There's always something yummy to munch on. Even when it's just cheese and crackers, they've got seven different kinds of cheese I've never heard of and hand-baked sesame crackers. It's awesome.

But, to be honest, I was a bit intimidated to go to The Bite with them. I was sure I was going to be forced to plow through booths of expensive cutting utensils and gourmet pepper mills, trying to decipher which eggplant parmesan had fresh basil versus dried. Plus, I had just done a long hike at Mt. Hood and wanted to put my feet up and watch the Olympics.

But, by being food shy, I missed out. Little did I know Dionne and Tracy would be hanging out with lesbian celebrity and Iron Chef winner Cat Cora. Here they are downing shots of ouzo with her. They were thrilled.  Well, even if I didn't get to meet her, at least I know they showed that dyke chef a good time and represented well for the dykes of Portland. 

Golfing in Paradise

Pattycake and I went golfing yesterday at the most beautiful course I've ever played. It was in the British Columbia Cascade Mountains right outside Whistler in a town called Pemberton. I've been working from Whistler this week (I know, poor me) and thought I'd share these photos from yesterday. Although you can see snow here on the mountains, it was hotter than a mofo (38 celsius) on the valley floor. I played the best game of my life, too. Must have had something to do with the backdrop!

Question :: Bi & Baffled

Dear Lipstick & Dipstick: I have been married for six years. Before we married, my husband was okay with the fact that I was bisexual. A year ago, I met a woman whom I have fallen in love with. When this attraction hit, I shared it with my husband. He was disgusted, saying that she was so butch that it is like being with another man. This woman and I have been intimate for nine months, but my husband doesn't know. My sex life with him has diminished and when we do have sex, I think about her the entire and cry during and after because I feeling like I'm cheating on her. Now, he has asked me to cut off all contact with her. My husband is wonderful and I don't want to hurt him, but my relationship with this woman is getting serious. I love my husband but, I am in love with her. I need assurance that I won't destroy my husband if I leave my current life for the person that completes me.—Bi & Baffled

Lipstick: If I had a dollar for every married woman that’s been swooned by a butch, I could retire in Provincetown and paint irises for the rest of my life. I wonder how many marriages Shane from the L Word has destroyed. BB, you have two choices: you can stay or you can go. Simple as that. Either recommit to your husband (no matter how much better she is in bed) or let this tortured man go. Both choices have consequences and both involve pain, but something must be done or all of you are going to go friggin’ nuts. Your sitch is a clusterfuck and what really gets me is the dyke you’ve fallen for—how many times do we have to tell you ladies NOT to fall for married women?! Will they ever listen, Dipstick?

Dipstick: No Lipstick, they’ll never learn. Bi-girl, your husband was okay with you being bi because he thought there was a chance he’d land in bed with two women. He never considered you’d leave and find bliss on your own. If you’re in love with another, it is unfair to stay with your husband. You say he’s a nice guy, but any man who continues having sex with someone who cries during and after is pathetic. And so are you for putting yourself through all this. Stop worrying about hurting your husband; you already have. It’s time to face the consequences and leave him for the lez. Sister butch, are you reading too? Warning: This woman has already proven one thing, she’s a cheater. Lipstick and I won’t be surprised if the next letter is from you, needing advice about the bi-double-dipper you’ve fallen for.

Belges in Shorts

I was back in New York visiting my family a few weeks ago for my Dad's 80th birthday. My sister and my nephews decided to dress alike in matching shorts. Little niece Zoe just happened to show up in her madras. 

On the far left is my nephew RJ. I call him my twin nephew, because we're so much alike. Next to him is my twin sister Mary. Who do you think I look more like, my twin sister or my twin nephew? (I'm second from the right, in case you don't know what Dipstick looks like.)

My Olympic Obsession

I admit it, I'm a total Olympic nerd. Since the opening ceremonies on Friday, I've been glued to the TV. 

I love it all. The swimming, the track, the basketball, the gymnastics, the stories of overcoming hardship, the medal ceremonies.  But mostly I love one woman: Dara Torres. 

At age 41 she is swimming faster then she ever has in her life, and faster than kids half her age. She's quite an inspiration to an aging jock like me.  Actually, I had a crush on Dara way back in 1984,  when I was on the swim team at Syracuse University and she was in her first Olympics. I hoped then (and still do) that she's a dyke. But, alas, I don't think it's so. 

My Olympic obsession didn't start with Dara. No, flashback to a 10-year-old Dipstick in 1976. Unlike most girls my age, who were tu-tuing around like Nadia Comaneci, young Dipstick wanted to be Bruce Jenner. 

The summer of '76 was filled with me throwing hand carved javelins, shotputting big round rocks and setting up chairs to hurdle over.  I even got my hair cut just like his.  

There's just something about the Olympics. Every time I go to confess my obsession to one of my friends, I get a confession back. How about you? You watching too? 

Kicking it at the Farm With Christine Havrilla

We had such a blast at Chrstine Havrilla's concert in Arlington, WA over the weekend. It was held at a lesbian-owned farm where they board horses. Joy and Shelie, pictured below with Chrstine and Minx, were the gracious hosts. Their farm was beautiful, right smack dab in the lush rollings hills of western Washington's farm country. Picture small dirt roads, green pastures and old world farm houses....

Christine sounded AMAZING! She sang several of my favorite songs, including "Ride" and "Everyday," but closed with my all-time fav "Lay It On Me." I captured a rather dark video of her signing part of "Lay It On Me," posted below. You can hardly see her, but you can hear her lovely voice.

We were at a horse farm so, of course, the riding crops came out. Funny how we just happend to have them with us. In the adjacent pic, you can see Assolina taking her aggression out on some dyke from Idaho while some other lezzie stole my crop and gave it her best slap, too. Drunk, the Idahoian kept circiling the bonfire saying (very slowly) I-da-ho and pointing to herself.

We stayed in Burlington, WA, which was about twenty minutes north of Arlington. One thing we noticed and were amazed by about Burlington, and the area in general, was how many closet cases there were! Seriously. When we were at the tepanyaki restaurant where we grabbed a quick bite to eat, across from us, there was a whole table of gay men married to their fag hags, but only the fag hags didn't know it, ya know? It was seriously shocking. And then at Starbucks the next morning, I had some butch soccer mom (who was there with her husband and son) cruise me while I was waiting for my coffee! Shocking, but I guess that would explain why those small towns are the most anti-gay. Closeted peeps are the worst homophobes!

Feeding Milo

On Friday, I surprised Pattycake with an afternoon at the Vancouver Aquarium. But there was a twist. What she didn't know as we parked at Stanley Park was that we were not simply going to oooh and awww over the new baby beluga Qila, but we were going to get to feed the sea otters! Do you remember that viral video of those two sea otters holding hands that made its way around the globe last year? It was even on Ellen! See below. Well, those two furry sea otters were Nyack and Milo. And Friday, we got to give Milo his afternoon snack of razor clams.

The Sea Otter Encounter (as the aquarium calls it) started with a class where we learned all we've ever wanted to know about otters--they're a part of the weasel family (did you know a ferret and a weasel are the same thing, but ferret is just what they call domesticated weasels?), they're neutral position is on their backs, when they love another sea otter (or a trainer) they bite them on the nose (hard, I hear!), and the only place their furry coat is connected to their bodies is at their wrist and at their head (so they can easily whip their fur around so they can groom). I won't bore you with anymore details, but we had so much fun!

Because I didn't tell my Pattycake that we were going to be preparing the food for and feeding the sea otters, she wore her favorite Prada sandals for the evening. Oops--I didn't look down at her feet when we left the house! You should've seen the look on her face when they asked her to dunk her shoes in the cleansing pool before we went into the kitchen. I snapped a pic of them next to the buckets of clams.

Good times!

Video from yesterday:





Video from Youtube of Milo and Nyack holding hands:

John McCain Against Gay Adoption

I know we've been inundating you with clips of John McCain, but this makes me sick. Not only because he is against my brothers and sisters adopting children--even when there is no one else who wants them--but because he's such a spineless homophobe/politician that he can't even say the words. He just keeps spewing out what his political advisors tell him to say. If you're going to take a stand, lame ass, spell it out Johnny Boy.

Two Exciting Events this Weekend

First, one of my favorite lezbot songstrisses is performing outside Seattle tomorrow night. My friend and singer/songwriter/indie folk artist Christine Havrilla will be doing her thing, playing from her new album In My Chair. I can't wait to hear her play my favorite track: Lay It On Me. Love it! The show is being held at--get this--a lesbian-owned farm! You're free to bring your tents and RVs and camp on site, too. There will be a potluck (of course, lesbians...) and happy hour spent with Rilla before the show, which is at 7pm. For tickets and directions, drop Joy an email at rudancing@msn.com.
Rumor has it Lipstick will be at this show...

Second, CURVE contributing photographer Kina Williams is having will have an opening party for her gallery show at Barberama/Javarama gallery-cafe tomorrow night! The event is from 6-9pm (I heard a rumor Dipstick might be there). At the show of her shots (they'll run throughout August) you can enjoy live performances by Annie Vergnetti and Johanna and get free drinks!

Check it out, Portland bitches. Kina kicks ass.

L Word Siting

So, Pattycake and I were having dinner last night at Trattoria and enjoying ourselves. We were laughing about something silly as we shared a bottle of Barbara when suddenly I caught someone I recognized out of the corner of my eye. I stopped, took another sip and looked closer, and wouldn't you know it was HELENA from the L Word eating a couple tables away with three guys.

The L Word is shooting here in Vancouver right now and I wondered if I might happen up one of the cast members. Well, lucky me--I got to run into one of my very favorite characters Rachel Shelley. I'm not the star struck type and I certainly would never have approached Rachel, but I'll have you know I did consider it for you guys so I could get a picture. I decided, instead, just to enjoy my meal and the backdrop and snap this completely unintelligible photo with my Crackberry as we were leaving. You can read an interview CURVE did with Rachel here.

And just FYI, she's just as hot in person without makeup. Smokin'!

Ellen + John McCain

Since we're engaged in this political expose, let's not forget the little chat that Ellen Degeneres had with John McCain a few months ago about gay marriage. We posted this back in May, but thought it was appropriate to revisit it.

John McCain and LGBT Issues

Lesbian and gay issues are just some of the things to consider when casting your vote for president this Fall. Lipstick & Dipstick want to make sure you're informed, so as much as I hate adding his face to our blog, I want to share with you this video by HRC about John McCain and his record with GLBT issues.

Britney Spears to Play a Killer Lesbian Stripper

This is not a joke. Rumor has it Quentin Tarantino has cast Britney Spears to play a lunatic stripper in his new film, the remake of "Faster Pussycat Kill! Kill!" The name alone makes me want to go see it! To read more on MTV News, go here.

Paris Hilton for President

You pop culture whores and Obama lovers will appreciate this exchange between John McCain and Paris Hilton. I thought it was hilarious and obviously pertinent to the current political climate.

Background: McCain recently likened Obama to celebrities Britney Spears and Paris Hilton in one of his campaign ads and Paris didn't like it. Watch the McCain video first and then see her response... Classic.

McCain Ad




Hilton Ad

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Lipstick's New Car

DIPSTICK: Lipstick, did you get a new car? (See license plate.) Funny, you don't seem like the mini-van type.

LIPSTICK: While I may not strike you as the mini-van type, in high school, I won a senior superlative that would put me in this soccer-mom mobile. It was "Most Likely to Head Their Child's PTA." No joke.